32. Managing Stress in Stroke Recovery: Insights, Experiences, and Practical Strategies for a Resilient Journey

I was Okay, before we happened to Episode 32, of the local survivor podcast this week, I want to tell you that we are talking about stress. And it is a big, big, big, big topic for all survivors, involved, survivors, families, friends, everybody involved in your journey. whatever role they play, they're gonna have stress, you're gonna have stress, it's the stress of the stroke, it's the stress of regular life, it's the stress of trying to get back to regular life, whatever that may look like for you, in your journey. I talked about the emotional stress, physical stress, family stress, work, stress, financial stress, so many types of stress. The end is, the list is endless. It really, you know, it's super comprehensive, this will probably not be the only episode we really talk about stress, we probably will do more individualized, this is sort of a overview, a lot of my takes, as usual. Again, I welcome everybody's takes, I want to build this community, this podcast to be something fun, interactive, bring it to the community, see if I can help others see if others have things they can contribute that help other people, even myself. I think with stroke, it's really important to learn from one another, especially as survivors, because we learn tons of information and quality information for our therapists, or people doing research from people out in the field from doctors, you know, but it varies it really, because of the way stroke is and the way it affects each of us individually, individually. It is super comprehensive, and you don't know what works until you start to try some things, then you definitely learn what works for you may not work for somebody else, something that worked for you, surprisingly, may also work for somebody else down the road. That's why I think it's super important that we share the journey and be open about it when we can be obviously everybody's a little different in that, that that area. But yeah, I think we talk a ton about all I know, I think I know we talk a ton about stroke and the different areas to focus on. My big takeaway I think in this episode is slowing down to speed up, which you may have heard a million times. I think it's important to hear it from a survivor to other survivors especially, and other family members close to a survivor because in this sense, it really means like when you're going and practicing things and doing them again for the first time to build that process slowly and then build up speed as you go. Not the reverse, not trying to do it subpar and building backwards. Anyways, hope you enjoy this episode and we'll see you in the show. My name is Schmierer Welcome back to another episode of Survivor buckets this week is episode 32. And we are going to be talking about stress and managing stress all things stressed for leaders when it comes to stroke recovery and being a stroke, stroke recovery survivor out in the real world, with family with friends. We're going to discuss emotional stress, physical stress, family stress, work, stress, financial stress, all kinds of stress. So this will be as usual, a brief overview. We'll kind of hit high level this week. See where we need to go from there. discuss other things as they come up. Organize the episode, you know, as best we can as we do each and every week. But yeah, we'll go through some of those big things, recognizing different things, things to look out for things I wish in hindsight, I knew sooner rather than later. I know you can never replace learning on your own. But sometimes we can take lessons from others, especially if we hear these lessons over and over and over from a group whether you're in a stroke group, locally, a stroke group online, whether you're just seeing other community members online talking about it. I mean, I think a lot of people are talking about it. It is something to look into. It's something to consider. So yeah. Stress is a big topic, like a lot of things and we'll just do our best as episode and We'll see where we go and how we take it from here. But yeah, stroke is a big stressor. It is I think I've said it every episode, I said it last week for sure. I definitely felt that in my stroke recovery group here locally in Jacksonville. Last week, when I was talking with my local group, you know, there is, in my mind, and probably yours as well. Now, I haven't dealt with every possibility and scenario on life, but I feel like stroke is often overlooked by many. Because let's be honest, I overlooked it myself until I became a stroke survivor, which is understandable. A lot of times we know there are big events in life that can happen to people, I think we hear a lot about heart attack. We hear about stroke, but we don't really, we hear about it the same way we hear about heart attack. And I don't know much about heart attacks, I just know, I'm lucky to have not had one. Because my heart was not in good shape at the time of my stroke. So I'm aware of things more keenly than I was prior. But I still do have a friend who has recovered and is still inactive, you know, getting better growing learning, trying to prevent other ones just like stroke survivors, I mean, stress is a big factor in stroke. And so after the stroke, there's sort of a new level of stress in our lives. I'm sure some of us could admit that we bring it upon ourselves. Sometimes it's just depending on the deficits and your life, day to day after stroke, it may may be less stressful, a bit more stressful, you know, it takes time to learn how to manage your own expectations, learn how to manage family support systems, you know, you kind of need to relearn what you need help with where you can grow and push yourself where you want to grow and push yourself. You know, asking for help is new for a lot of people, it was definitely new for me at the time. I've gotten better, but I'm still a long ways from where I want to be. Because I'm always learning that I need more help in this area and want to do better in this area, etc, etc. I don't think I'm alone, there was a common issue. So yeah, it can contribute to a lot of stress. And on top of that, like I said, there's, there's the emotional stress of having a stroke, there's, I felt a lot of guilt, in my case, because I have young children, or I have an older child and two younger children and a wife who is death. You know, so a lot of pressure on me on top of having the stroke, my parents are no longer around. So yeah, my family is all over the country. So there's a lot of emotional, I wouldn't say baggage, but there's definitely a lot of emotions. And there's definitely a lot of physical deficits. Family stress, I think everybody has that whether you're a mother or father, a parent of one or many, I don't think it matters necessarily the amount we all deal with it differently, some better than others. And I think, you know, it's it's a kind of a given, the more you have, the more you're adding to your plate, the more you're responsible for. We're not saying it's any easier or harder with more or less, I'm just saying there are there are factors that can make it more difficult for some. And I think like anything in life, the more you add on your plate, the more you're finding systems and things that work for you and your family and your situation. But yeah, there's there's a lot. So I think if I had to break it down, when talking about all these different kinds of stress, I think there are some there are definitely some things that you can do specifically for type different types of stress. There are things that I learned earlier on that I'm surprised that worked. There were things that worked for other people that didn't work for me, I think that is often the case. You know, it's a lot of trial and error. So that's why once you get further along and you look back and you realize there is no magic pill there is there's definitely information and people out there talking about things there are lots of commonalities. between different types of strokes and every stroke is unique. Every person is unique. Every brain is unique. So yes, there are larger picture. Big topics. So I think we all go through to some degree. But there are definitely specifics. And then there are even more specific specifics, depending on how deep you get into his particular thing. There is no correct answer, there is no wrong answer, honestly, because things that work for 99% may not work for 1%, and vice versa. So I think the biggest one of the biggest lessons I think I've learned, and they kind of go hand in hand. So I think that we'll make this kind of the main point here is that when you have a stroke, and you become a stroke survivor, I've said this a number of episodes, too, it is important to kind of take stock of what's happened, what you're feeling right now. How you want to feel in time. But yeah, it goes back to taking stock taking inventory, seeing where you're at, and where you want to improve. And then slowly, and the key word there slowly, because I'm not good at this, I think a lot of stroke survivors that I've met, are still working on things, you know, some of it is just you're just always working on continuingly getting better. And I think that's true, if you're a show survivor or not, is continuous improvement. And we're all doing that it doesn't matter if you're a stroke survivor or not. Continuous improvement is honestly a very underrated skill, that not everybody is a fan of some people get to a certain level in certain things. And that's good enough. And I know I do that in a lot of areas of my life, like, I don't want to be great at everything, I just want to be good enough. Sometimes, if it's something I need to do, I want to be aware of things, but I don't need to be the best at this or that. You know, and that's, that can be a struggle for some people to sometimes. But I do like to know, and try and definitely be aware of a lot of things. I'm definitely guilty of having too many hobbies, sometimes because I want to do everything I want to try everything. Nothing wrong with that, that just, you know, sometimes that definitely slows me down in the in the bigger picture. It's not a bad habit. It's not it's not it's not anything, it's just, if you want to be great at everything, it's really hard to be great at everything, you know, eventually, you realize that your time may be better spent in focusing on other things, and then you can add in as you either really systematize the beginning things or hand them off to somebody else. So again, I think that ties into all types of stress, whether it's emotional, physical family work, or financial stress, slowing down. And then adding to is a big part of the process. Something I I've always known but I think I failed to recognize in the beginning. And and kind of on the same in the same vein is like when, when you're starting to do things, whether it's walking, or you're studying to become more independent as a survivor, especially in the early days, there is a tendency, at least in my case, I wanted to do everything super quick. I wanted to get back to things, quote unquote, normal life as soon as I could. And it's great to be ambitious, it's great to strive for those goals. Because striving for those goals motivates you keeps you in a positive mindset. But it can also lead to sometimes build rebuilding. With bad habits. You know, if you push a little too hard, like there's a fine line and a balance between you know, you're used to doing certain things in a certain amount of time. And then once you become a stroke survivor, depending on the deficits and the thing you're trying to accomplish, whether it be a simple task, like screwing in a screw into a piece of wood or building furniture, just whatever the task is, will probably almost certainly take more time than it used to take. And the trick is, and again, I learned this later on, because I would try to do the task and get back to the speed that I was accustomed to that I was used to working at I always have gone 100 miles an hour. And for me it's been really difficult to understand that things take more time. And if I could say one thing to my former self But it's something I would say to you is that once you become a survivor, if you're aware that you're doing this, the sooner you can kind of course correct, I think the better you will be long term. What I mean by that is if something used to take you five minutes, this is easier said than done. But don't beat yourself up, don't try to do that task in five minutes, if you get the task done in the same amount of time as it used to be fantastic. But if that task takes you 10 minutes, but you're able to do it independently on your own, do it well do it to the level you're accustomed to realize that, yes, it takes double the time it used to, but you you're establishing the connections, the neuro connections in your brain, for doing it the right way. And then slowly over time, you may be able to do that task, you can shave off one minute, or 30 seconds set, and then you know, two minutes and three minutes. And eventually, as you keep doing that task, it is super frustrating. And this is really, really hard. And it's only now almost almost four years into my recovery, that I'm realizing like, spend a few more minutes doing the thing. Whatever the task, it might be typing, it might be. It might be playing the piano, it might be taking pictures, it might be woodworking, you know, whatever task, whatever hobby, whatever facet of life might be cooking dinner, allow yourself and give yourself the permission to take more time. Because I know this is hard, I only recognize it, you know, three and a half, four years in that doing it slow and steady. And I know this sounds so corny, but slow and steady will win the long term race. I think we if you think about that, that's true in all facets of life, like, right, slow, steady, get the job done, well get it done correctly. And then over time increase, you'll you'll you'll gradually pick up speed, it might be a slow, gradual increase. But it'll be an increase. And I think running has been a big thing for me. Where I would love to get faster, not faster in the sense that I want to run races and win races. I don't care about any of that shit anymore. Like, I'm not running to win races, I'm not running to out run other people I'm running. For my health. I'm running to challenge myself, I'm running because I just think it's hilarious that I used to hate running up until age 39 to two and a half years into my stroke recovery. It then occurred to me that I could fix by breathing that I could learn how to love running, and I have over the last year. And it wasn't until I was two and a half years into stroke recovery two plus years and to having Ms. Being 325 pounds and 640 and starting to love running. I mean, that's that's just how, how could you not laugh at that. I mean, I laugh at it. But I also like use it as a motivator for myself. And I use it to help other people realize that like all a lot of people in my life that I hate running, I hate running and yeah, there's a certain degree of me that still hates running like I hate running races. I hate people who only talk about running like running is their life. I mean, that's fine. They've that's your jam, but like, everybody's got a different take. And my purpose for running is very different from other people's purposes. You know, I sound a little preachy here, but I just I, I love things like when people count me out, when people put it, you know, put my back up against the wall. They say you can't do something. I love going out there and doing it and proving people wrong. And I'd be like, I like proving people wrong, which I know is kind of like a weird thing. But I wouldn't even care if I didn't want to challenge myself to be better to get better. And I think it's it's the whole thing. It's really it's both funny and serious to me. Like it's funny because you hear people make all these excuses. And I'm like, I don't know, I feel like I have the most excuses you could possibly have and here I am doing that thing. But again, I like challenging myself. I like what I wouldn't keep running if I didn't see the benefits now. And if I hated it entirely at this point, I definitely wouldn't have run, you know, almost all but three or four days in the last year. I think October 6, coming up next week, will in fact be a year and I will at that point have run hopefully 362 out of 300 or 361 to 365 days. I can't remember if it was Leap Year or not this year. I don't think it was so yeah. 361 to 365 at two Three in 325 pounds is fucking ridiculous if I'm being honest, and it's not been a small amount of miles, I mean, I have gotten obsessive about the amount of miles. And that's something I'm going to work on in the next year. Once I complete this sort of calendar year running is slowing down to speed up. And that's, that's my choice. That's just like, I want to do want to improve my time. And I think doing a little less will actually help me do more. Very much the same way with stress, managing stress, like you do a little bit less to do a little bit more. And that sounds counterintuitive. That's not for everybody, that just, I noticed for my situation, at 37, I had my stroke, I'm now 40. I just noticed that I can't go 100 miles an hour anymore. And if I ever want to go at that pace, I want I need to slowly build that up. And one of the other things with stress is that I get very frustrated, sometimes I think all survivors do. And it's because I can't do things as quickly. And again, looking back I realized, Oh, if I had just done it right, from the day, day one or day 10 And slowly built up, it would have been a lot different. So yeah, some things there. So, I mean, when we talk about emotional stress, there's a lot of different pieces of that puzzle. I have some notes here that I'm looking through, you know, again, reducing stress in our lives. Since this this topic was kind of spun out of my last week's group. After I recorded last week's episode. I had my week, our monthly group with the community here and Jax. And a lot of you are talking about stress and they deal with the stress of going back to work. One of the one of the individuals there also worked in tech and startups. And you know, he had a stressful job, which I'm sure has contributed to him being a younger is strokes of IRA, which I think was an interesting in the group. Last week, this is the same group I've been going to for a couple years, but we haven't gotten together in about a year. And this group. Actually, there aren't many of us are like seven, seven, or eight. And I think half of the group, definitely half at least half if it was under 50. So that was interesting to me, because that means that doesn't really mean anything on the great grand scheme of things. But I do unfortunately think a lot of stress in people's lives might be contributing to not necessarily full on strokes. But definitely TAS as something I've heard a lot more about since my stroke. You know, I've been pretty open and candid that I still continue to put a lot of stuff on my plate. But I also deal with the stress very differently than I used to, I still have much of my children's chagrin, I still yell a little bit, I still get frustrated. And I sometimes could seem like I'm taking it out on people. But I always remind myself, or I'm sorry, I always remind my family that it is I'm never yelling at them, I'm yelling at really myself, I'm really beating myself up and unnecessarily my dad, because I get frustrated because things just take more time. And so everything I just said about things taking more time you have to well, you don't have to do anything. Let's put that first and foremost. But when you're, you know, made that part of managing stress, like you can't do things the way you used to be able to do them and you can't do them as quickly. Like just like with AI running, which is why I got off on that tangent is like I love to run the amount of miles that I run every day and do it in like two or three hours. But really, it takes me three or four and that's you know, that's on me, I could definitely run less and probably have the same results because I haven't lost 100 pounds running every day that much. But I do feel generally much better. You know, I've had different trackers, I've had the aura ring, I've had Garmin had the step counterfeit bits, you know, I now have a whoop. I'm interested in tracking a lot of my things because I'm still under five years since my first stroke so I'm susceptible to having another stroke potentially if I don't change but I have changed quite a bit. And I've done a lot of things moving in the right direction. But there's no guarantee. The only thing I do know for certain is that if I were to ever have another show, I do know how to handle it. I would actually watch my own videos to remind myself how to go about things Hopefully it never happens. But I am sort of prepared. And I think if I've done anything really well, the last four plus or three and a half plus years, is that I've started to figure this out for me, you know, and again, that's why I share. That's why I do this podcast. That's why I put it on putting them on YouTube now. So you can see me, you can see how I'm progressing. I can see how I'm progressing. I can look back, like talking sometimes is difficult, which is weird, because I have two plus podcasts. You know, but I'm just keep looking at this one statement that I wrote down in my notes for this week and stress. So let's talk about it's the, because this can open group last week, too. And a lot of these things definitely came up a group, I thought it may be a good episode. So stress is a big thing for a lot of people. So you're not alone, if feeling stressed, know that it doesn't go away. And depending on your personality type and your lifestyle, and your life and your family dynamics, and whatever you might be under. You know, it's always about finding solutions that work for you finding solutions that work for you and your family. Working together being a team, whether that means taking things off your plate, you know, sometimes things just get added to my plate. It's constant communication. And it's not easy with family because I have three kids and a wife who's deaf. And like, everybody in my house is a pretty good listener. But we're all like not the best listeners. So sometimes we say something and nobody listens. And it says it can, it can really, you just constantly are trying to curb that stress and manage that stress. And again, that's sometimes why I still yell. It's really not at them. It's mostly at me because I just And that's probably to my detriment is why I used to take on so many things that I still am now trying to I'm like finally realizing that shit. If I don't do things, things just don't get done. You know. So I've decided to kind of add my daughter to my team because she's looking to make a little bit more money. She's turning 21 in a couple weeks or a couple of months. Until she's older now she can help. And I'm willing to pay her to do things has helped me because I just want to get these things done. I'll give you an example. Like I want to, I want to get rid of some things in the house. I'm like, let's just take it to the dump and my wife, my daughter, agno. Let's give it away to neighbors for free. And I love doing that I genuinely do. But I hate when I want to get rid of something and then it just sits and it sits and it sits and it's just in a spot for weeks and months. Like I don't maybe you can, you know, maybe you recognize this in yourself too. Because I've noticed a lot of stroke survivors you know, there's a lot misfiring in our brains. There's a lot of rewiring happening. There's a lot of, again, stress. So clutter just adds to the stress of my life. Like I know I'm guilty of making my own clutter, but I can handle my unclutter. But like when there's stuff that I just want gone, I just need gone because it just it frees up space for other things, whether that's other junk that we don't need or it just other other you know it just out of the ways it's something off my plate. You know, it is it is unique to me, but you might have something similar. So back to the thing that I really want to talk to talk about today was one of the big stresses for me is like, the comments that you hear from other people sometimes when you tell them you're Oh, I'm a stroke survivor. You know, I had a stroke X amount of years ago, I saw that so that kind of looked fine. And again, we've talked about the You look fine, comment over and over and over. It's never going to go away. It's something that happens all the time. I don't really blame anybody for saying it. I appreciate it. I genuinely do. Because the You look fine comment isn't coming from a blank, bad place. It just isn't very helpful. But it does. Genuinely I tried it. I tried to take away that stress, but it's still stresses me out sometimes because it's like yes, I appreciate that comment. That means I'm doing things better. I'm overall healthier. I feel like people wouldn't say that if I was a big bag of shit and not doing anything in you know, I want to look fine. I want to look good. That's probably why I'm on camera now is because years ago, I didn't want to be on camera because I was so big at that and discussing to be quite honest. I didn't like myself. I didn't like where I was mentally, physically, emotionally, every every which way, all the types of stress. I didn't like any version of myself. So yeah, I don't take that lightly. And I appreciate people's goodwill but it does sometimes stress me out because it's like man, I have so much work to still do and I have so many things that I still want to do and get better at. But I remind myself that I've come a long way and so though, when it comes to stress and managing stress, you know, using those tools and different finding the ways to manage different types of stress that work for you, is ultimately, the best piece of advice I can give you. Like, you know, I'm Tom, I say that, you know, when we go back to taking time and doing things correctly, I was so eager to do so many things so quickly, I felt an exorbitant amount of pressure, nobody put it on me, I put it on myself, which is something I'm guilty of. I think a lot of us probably are, if you are self starter, self motivated, you know, just an individual trying to get better always, whether you're a survivor or not. You tend to put a lot on your plate, and it can be overwhelming. And so that that's a good, that's a blessing and blessing and a curse at the same time. So again, slowing down to speed up. You probably have heard it before. I know I've heard it. I've heard other people say they're not wrong. To me, sometimes I I'm also guilty of just brushing it off, because the people who say it, I don't think they realize they mean it from the you know, just same way I do. I mean it from my vantage point, you know, it's probably not the best advice for everybody. But if you're somebody in that person's shoes or similar, they're probably not wrong, they probably have been through the things in life that you have been through or are currently going through. So they're not wrong. And that I do believe when it comes to stroke recovery. Sometimes slowing down will help you speed up. Will it help you speed up as quick as you want to know that's not going to happen, that's not going to happen in any capacity. I mean, you could be one of the lucky few people who during recovery, something happens where something magically clicks in your body in your brain where connection happens sooner than anticipated, whether it's you yourself wanting to have it happen sooner or regardless, you know, but back to stress and slowing down to speed up another great tip is breaking down these tasks we talked about on last week's episode. And breaking down big goals into smaller milestones, the same rules, so to speak, and techniques definitely applied to stress, like you can only manage split so many things, right? So if you break down financial stress, like what are your short term goals like you want you need to pay a bill now, right? You got to how you're going to take money, what are what is sort of figuring out the progression. And again, if you're having trouble, ask somebody to sit with you and help you. This is where I failed in the beginning. And it wasn't necessarily around financial stress. But all these things like I didn't really write down because I couldn't physically write with pen and pencil. And I still have trouble with that. There are some tools that I use now, that really help and it's not typing. I've talked about it before. But audio pen.ai is a great tool. And when I'm going to share, I'm actually compiling a list of tools. And things that I use on a regular basis, which I'm gonna put up on the website in a couple couple of days. Because there are so many tools that I actively use. I truly believe in their specific for stroke survivors. There's a lot of great companies like Flint rehab, I know there's others that I'm forgetting. Gosh, what's the other one? Yeah, there's a ton of companies that make good tools. There's there's still companies that I'm finding out and going into your four that are making products that are like, oh, where's that then like I there's a tool I found specifically for strokes if I survivors who are runners, and it works differently than other CFOs. And I gotta find it because it was mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago in physical therapy. And I kind of forgotten about it, I closed the tab on my phone, which means I have to go digging for it. But I'm going to find it because if you're in survivor was interested in running, you may need more. This tool seems really good specifically geared towards running versus a traditional LFO is is really geared more towards helping you walk. It's really something you shouldn't drive with when you're wearing an LFO This is more more of the next step in these kinds of devices where you might be running you might be driving, I don't know probably I'm gonna guess you probably shouldn't drive with the either which can be frustrating because it's hard. Sometimes as a survivor to take things in and out and switch and do this and do that and it's like it's such a pain. Just like taking notes like if I really where I was going with this if I go back in time I would really sit down and plan each week with my wife with my daughter somebody find somebody who gonna help you write these, these things down and help you help you find tools to empower you to do it yourself. You know, eventually, you might want to type and yes, you're going to have to type slower to type faster. It's just how it happens. You know, again, you might get lucky and things might click, snap back into place, but it's rare. And it's very uncommon, and doesn't happen the most. It just takes time. It takes practice, it's super annoying, but it does take time. I know that now. But either way, whether it's emotional, physical, family work, financial stress, whatever kind of stress breaking those things down into smaller, manageable tests, helps build momentum helps you get closer to taking some of the stress out of your life, you're not going to be able to eliminate all the stress, very few people can just up and quit their job and go, you know, find a way to work for themselves in a way that works for themselves. That's, that's not come. So breaking down big stress into smaller stress. So you're eliminating some stress from your life, because that is the biggest commonality amongst second strokes is stress, and poor health. You know, you can fix your health, but if you don't fix the stress, you might still find yourself in that spot. You know, I'm very cognizant if I'm overloading my plate, I think I do it every month, every month, I burn 100 miles an hour, for the first three weeks, and that fourth week. And again, this shifts month to month, but like, by that fourth week, I'm at a gas like this month in particular, September, we're coming up at the end of the quarter, nine months into wrapping up nine months of the year. It's been a really weird week. It's been a really weird two weeks, because I think we're we're all aware that we're going into sort of the holiday season. You know, many places won't, won't let you forget it because they're all on pumpkin spice and had been since the middle of August. So you know, Halloween is around the corner. My kids won't shut up about it. It's not even October. There's stress with holidays. Families stress like what are we doing Baba, but like, I'm already exhausted just talking about it for two minutes. And it just managing that and dealing with that is, you know, again, different, different things for different people. But managing smaller tasks does make you feel a sense of accomplishment, it doesn't always work. Because you don't want to break tasks down into a point which you're only kind of doing busy work. So gotta be careful with that with breaking tasks down, make sure they're now you don't have, you don't bring it down so much that you're losing that milestone or that eventual goal with the test. So just be cognizant as you as you do it, and it can change and shift. Again, it's going to be different for everybody. And it's going to be to your liking it how it works best for you. And same thing, you know, when you think about, especially with financial things, like just what are the things I can do now? What are the things I wanted to do better long term, like, I want to be able to put X amount of money to the side, I want to be able to spend a little bit less just make Cognizant choices. You as a parent, I have to say no more than I used to. I don't like it. I don't, I don't like saying no to myself. And I have to really, you know, think about things now more. When it comes to work. It's like okay, I need to work out. And I said, you know your mirror, they say I run about four hours a day, that's a lot of time to be working out, run businesses work, I have a family life, do all the things I want to do. So I can sometimes I do have to find that balance between getting better physically and dealing with, you know, work and financial stress and family time. Like they are all unfortunately, they're all connected, and they're all they all play a role in the emotional stress of life. So yeah, there's no easy solution. It's just I noticed that stress was a big one for people and stress really does. Like I said, you can put a ton of work into your physical recovery from stroke. But if you don't manage the stress too, you could find yourself in a position that you weren't thinking about or you weren't aware of. It's not even that you have to work don't worry about the stress. Just have a conversation with yourself. Once a week, once a month, whatever fits your lifestyle like am I taking on too much am I doing enough? Should I do more? Do I need to focus on a different thing and you can't focus on All these things at once. Stress is a part of life. But how we manage it, how we control it, how we, how we respond, is really how we respond and how we, how we handle it, or kind of what's in our control. I can't say like, I could try my best, I really tried to train those around me. That sounds weird, but like I, I try to communicate, if too many things come on my plate, I can't do them. If you asked me last minute, I can't do it the way I used to be able to do things last minute. It just doesn't fit for me anymore. I hate last minute stuff. I used to never mind. But now I just I need like last minute, like I need at least 24 hours notice most of the time. If you want me to do something productive, like I could obviously I cannot call I could sit in a meeting, I could talk to somebody. But like if it involves some sort of work, I kind of need to prepare more than I used to. Because I can't do things as quickly. You know, so these are all practical tips. For me for some of the things that I've been through some things I've recognized. And you know, I think how you manage stress, you know, we'll kind of happen to that. Quickly, we're up with this episode. But again, there's a lot of tools, I think, I think it's time to put a list together, put it on a global level Stryver a website, really tools that I find useful, I might put affiliate links, if I really believe in it, you know, some of them may not have them, I am always about communicating what's working for me and sharing it. You know, I don't need affiliate links, I think it would be helpful. But I just I believe in sharing the tools and information that I've found. With you, with the listeners with with the people watching over on YouTube. Because there aren't enough people talking about these tools. And the more people talking about them, the more he can help other people because it's a very, on top of having a stroke on top of the stress of a stroke on top of the stress of finances, Life, Family emotions, physical stress, like if I can help other people by providing resources and tools and whatever is helping other people who have questions, whether you're a caregiver, whether you're a family member, whether you're a family member or caregiver that wants to help another survivor, or bring it to a group, you know, you can help more people because that's, that's the only way this works, you know. And like I said, these real world applications are important. Because you get a little bit of time, if you're a survivor, and you've gotten the fortunate ability to have medical coverage and be in inpatient and acute treatment in the beginning, but very quickly, that goes away, and it becomes very lonely very quickly. And so, finding real world applications, finding out what other people have done realizing things like, Oh, if I go slower now, and I build up that will pay off long term. Again, in hindsight, it seems really obvious, just kind of like a lot of things in life. Sometimes we're so close to it, that we know the answer. And you hear me saying this, and you're thinking to yourself, oh, yeah, that's right. That makes sense. But like, I didn't think of it at the time, like nobody said it to me. And remember, self care isn't selfish. So like, if you need to set boundaries, if you need to explain things. It can be tedious, and it can be stressful, especially with with family, if you're under you know, if you still have kids at home and living in the house, even if they're not at home, you know, there's a good chance you need to make them aware. And you may have to make them aware over and over because people in general, they mean well, they've tried to pay attention, but they forget. So you have to constantly remind them. And so that can add to stress. And I think you just have to learn that there's some things you can control and some things you can't. And you can try to control other things, as best you can. But yeah, again, it's about finding what works for you building that support network. Realizing what you need, communicating what you need is really important, and it may be exhausting at times. I think again, finding tools and apps and real world adaptations, and realizing it's okay to use especially with those tools and apps. It's okay to use them and rely on them. But like also make sure you're working on the other parts. Like for example, and this is an audio pen and I'm mentioning it again because it's a great tool for me, but I don't want to be solely reliant. I have to go back to practicing typing and kind of biting the bullet and doing the thing I hate which is typing slowly, because I never type slowly. But if I don't type slowly, I'm never going to type quickly. You know, and I think that's, that's true of a lot of things, I'm never going to be able to run a seven minute mile, if I don't start running a 17 minute mile, you know, like, I used to be able to walk faster sometimes. You know, I'm just now after a year of running almost 5000 miles, just now getting to a point where I'm running a little bit quicker than I used to walk a mile. You know, and that's not even for like, that's not even for all 13 plus miles, I'm running on a daily basis. Now that's like, you know, a couple that's about half of the miles is at that pace, and then the other half is slower. So that is why I'm going back to maybe doing a little less than doing a little faster, you know, there's different theories to different workouts, I got to find what works for me, I don't want to get back to running so, so fast, and pound my body so hard, because I'm still a big boy, like there are not a lot of six foot eight 325 pound runners. So I'm big boy, I don't want to hurt my knees. I've survived a stroke, I have MS. Like I need to build slowly. But I do I do agree. running faster would only help me take less time running. But again, if I don't run, period, I'm never going to get faster at running. And if I do too much too quickly, I'm gonna get hurt, which I don't want to do, because I'm really loving it. I'm really understanding where body taking care of it. Agreed, I probably do less, probably should do less. And, you know, really again, like, for me, I've learned, okay, I got obsessive about it. Now I'm gonna scale back the amount so that I can rebuild in more more weight training, in addition to my running so I can do kind of both because right now I'm definitely lopsided to the running. I still do weight training, but not as much as I would like. You know, that's, that's a balance and sometimes you just need to find a figure that out for yourself. And that's okay. All I'm concerned about is am I getting into the gym? Am I running? Am I taking care of my fitness? Am I eating properly? Those are things that work for me. So yeah, let's wrap this episode up. I don't have a ton of things this week to recommend in terms of podcast, you know, it's the same podcasts I've been listening to and watching. Nothing super new in that regard. Um, yeah, not not. I did watch finally that Gator documentary on Netflix. Pretty good. Which is weird because I'm not a gator fan. Even though I live in Gator country. Now I went to the EU. I'm a big fan, obviously of Miami as alumni. I still think the 2001 Hurricanes were one of the best teams of all time. And we almost won back to back championships in 2000. Well, I guess the years are 2001 and 2002 for the teams but the championships because they're in the following calendar year. So it was like January 2002 and 2003 that we played those games January 2003 was the one we lost against Ohio State that last second still haunts me to this day. But yeah, I mean, maybe I feel tied to that hurricanes team because I knew a lot of the hurricanes, I saw them around campus. I happen to be one of the bigger guys on campus. So I knew a few buyers saw them around at parties when you're six foot eight, you get recognized as if you're on the team, so I kind of knew some people. And then throughout my entire time in Miami, I knew a lot of players. So yeah, I still think the hurricanes from 2001 to 2005 were some of the greatest teams ever. But yeah, definitely interesting to watch Tebow who actually went to high school where my daughter went to high school right here in Jax so yeah, really interesting. Documentary pretty good. I liked a lot of it. It was a I think saw that people had some comments on it, but I liked it. I didn't hate it. I just I don't know. I saw a different side of it. I saw the Miami version of that documentary in real life. So I might be too close to prepare. But I can tell you the stories are similar and I would almost say that if they were to make a documentary about Keynes back then it would be it would be wild and I think he saw that kind of in the in the 3430s on ESPN. Although I don't think he saw it quite to the level that I saw it but yet it was good anyways, and as far as books though, the only book I've been reading this week is brutal. eskies dome. And I forget the author's name. Let me see if I can find it real quick, brutal. eskies dome for those that don't know is in Florence. I went School of Architecture at Miami so it is I spent a lot of time in Rome and Florence in 2005. Almost the better part of a year. I spent quite a bit of time in Florence. I have fond memories of Florence. Every time I look at at the Duomo, I just had a lot of really interesting stories that we could say for another episode where we do storytime, this podcast, but there's nothing related to stroke, but I have very fond memories of Florence and Rome. And my year 2005 In Italy, it just a magical time for me. I really love it. My wife hates when I talk about it because she wasn't there. Rightfully so. But yeah, so many fond memories and Brunel esses dome is a really interesting book, if you're into architecture, just the construction of that, if you've ever been to Florence, you know, there's something magical about Florence in general, there's, there's, there's just, it's kind of unbelievable. Yeah, I was thinking about last night when I was like reading books, or listening to a book on Audible. That you think about the construction of that you think about, you know, I see these things about time in history. And like it's so weird when you think about that was that was done 500 600 years ago, and like, it's still standing, it's still impeccable, it's wild. You know, you don't see that as much in the States, obviously, because this country was founded 300 years after that was built there. 50 years after that was built, I think it may be more closer to 400. So that we're less zome supersedes the United States of America by about 400 years. And you just think about the history of our country. It's just a fascinating read. So if you're into architecture, if you're just you might be into it, regardless, but it's a really cool book, especially if you're not familiar Florence, you're not familiar Duomo like just there's a great account on on Instagram called I think as farmstyle Italy or something like that. But check out this Google Florence or go to go to Instagram and look for Florence and you'll see this amazing account where they just literally walk around Florence take pictures all over Florence, which is not a very big city. It will be honest, not certainly not at all compared to Rome, compared to Milan compared to compared to almost other any other Italian city. I mean, even Venice, I think feels bigger than Florence. So Tuscany is big because of all the hills and the wine but like Florence, the city never felt that big to me. So yeah, I just have fond memories, and I really enjoyed it anyways. We'll leave it there for episode 32 of the local store our podcast. I hope you found this informative. Go to the website I'm definitely gonna put some stuff up there you know, as always, if you like it, subscribe on YouTube, you know, give this podcast a rating so we can share it and get it get it in front of more people more eyes. You know, I'm always looking to improve. So pod questions, comments, concerns, definitely send an email podcast to podcasts I love will stryver.com And again, all the things I talked about today will be in the show notes. And it was a great week and I'll be able to crazy till next time.