31.Empowering Stroke Survivors & Rebuilding Confidence with Small Steps and Diverse Support Networks

Alright, couple of quick notes before we hop into Episode 31 of the global spire podcast. This week on the show, we're talking about rebuilding self confidence after major medical life events such as stroke, which is a lot of this show. Yeah, it is a hard thing to regain your self confidence in a number of areas after stroke, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or even rebuilding confidence with your diet, I really think that the topic does not get discussed enough. And that was reinforced yesterday by my local survivor group. You know, stroke is a really, really hard thing to overcome. We, as survivors, I think we can all agree, even if you are not an actual survivor, but you know, somebody who's going through it, the process is daunting, it is kind of unlike anything else, I can't really think of another situation where people are coming back and trying to rebuild so drastically and so dramatically. I mean, Non Medical Life events, I would say probably hurricanes, tornadoes, rebuilding homes after natural disasters. Those are similar events. But yeah, I think in the personal space, like rebuilding your personal life, stroke is really hard. And so some tips this episode are, you know, setting realistic goals, celebrating small wins. I want to talk about goal setting. In this episode, I'm really talking about breaking them down to smaller goals. I think I was I know, I'll go into it in the episode. But I was really ambitious in the beginning. And I was getting frustrated. And over time, I realized, you know, it seems so obvious now looking back, but like when the goals are smaller and more manageable, you actually build momentum quicker, you build self confidence, a little bit faster. And that's going to be different for everybody. And it's going to work with different situations. And depending on what you're working on, how far you've come, kind of where you're starting at in that particular area that you're focusing on. But I also talk about the role of support networks. I just had a big support group locally here yesterday. And you know, I was reminded that I talked a lot about this episode, too. It's important to find other support groups and networks beyond just stroke survivors. That obviously is critical, but you know, look outside think outside the box because it is really they're very helpful in a lot of ways. So anyways, hopefully, this episode will strike a chord with you. thoughts, suggestions, always let me know hit me up on social media. Otherwise enjoy episode 31 of who will serve our podcast. everybody, my name is Schmierer Welcome back to another episode of the local server podcast today is episode 31 of the podcast and I'm excited to be back I have been running all day I'm exhausted, but I am recording this week's episode right now after it's sick 16 mile run. So I'm slightly fired up and also pretty exhausted. Yeah, this week in Episode 31. We're gonna be talking about rebuilding self confidence after a major medical life event or in our case, a lot of our cases after stroke we've of incompetence is like everything a long, arduous. somewhat difficult probably difficult I found a difficult process, rebuilding self confidence at any point in your life. Whether you're a mom who's had children, you're kind of finding yourself again, whether you're a stroke survivor, or whether you've had challenges and major life events, like it's not an easy thing. And I think it's one of the things that doesn't get talked about enough with stroke survivors in particular. Because it's really hard to capture to put into words sometimes we don't even realize initially. We know that we've had a major medical life event we know that there's gonna be a lot of hard work ahead. We know a lot of things there's a lot of things being told to us we're getting a lot of information from 85 million doctors 20,000 different directions. Family Friends Support Unit They say it, we hear it, you know, and we all hear it differently. I think it is, like many topics on this podcast, it is a broad topic. It's hard to quantify, it's hard to like, put it into exact words. But I think we can all agree that when you become a stroke survivor, and hopefully you never are, hopefully, you're in a position that you are maybe a family member, or a loved one or a caregiver or caretaker. And you see how hard it is. You're also learning from people like myself from others who have actually had the stroke. And you're able to make those changes sooner rather than later. I know we can all help our strokes, mine in particular, I am very candid on this show. I made a lot of mistakes. I never thought I'd be the person to have a stroke, I certainly never thought I'd have learned at 37. But I've learned my lesson. And again, part of the reason I do this show, I talk about it a lot. Because I'm living that life, it's not easy. Sometimes I think I do it a disservice because I can at times make it look easy. But believe me, it is not easy, you know that it is hard work. It's a lot of difficulty. There's a lot of challenges. It takes a village. I know that's corny, but my family is super supportive. The people I work with are super supportive, or I no longer work with them. Because I want to work with people that support me that see me putting in the work that simply you're doing the same you're putting in the work, you're making the changes you're trying to figure it out. Again, it's not easy, there is no exact roadmap for anybody. It's not as straightforward as most weightlifting programs. You know, you might keep her to diet, dieting and exercise like everybody, there are some commonalities, but really everybody has to kind of try and see what works for them. So rebuilding self competence is just one piece of the big journey when it comes to stroke recovery. Again, everybody has a different take, everybody has different stroke. Some people have more deficits, others, some people regain competence quickly, some, maybe it takes longer, maybe it's just certain things, I don't think the process, no matter. If you have one thing or 100 things, I think rebuilding confidence, you know, takes time for anybody, and whatever they're doing. So some of the things in this episode that we're going to talk about when it comes to rebuilding self confidence after your stroke or again, a major medical life event, brain injury, etc. You know, I think a lot of times we hear the word community, we learn about different support groups, hopefully, when you're in inpatient, or in a facility and you're in the hospitals. Hopefully you have access to those resources. I know on this show, I've said many times, I feel like my experience, you know, and this is always going to be the case, my experience is different than others. But due to the timing of my stroke and subsequent MS diagnosis right after my first trip to inpatient, I'll be for COVID My experience is very different because at the beginning, the world was literally flipping up upside down as I was coming out of my second trip to inpatient rehab. So things like, you know, down here, there's adaptive sports, there's a big community, but I didn't really find that until later on. And by the time I found it, I've kind of found my own way. Because I didn't have a choice I you know, the war not resources. There were not a lot of people doing YouTube videos are so really not tons. There are more, but there's not millions. And you know, I think, obviously, we're watching this show, you know, I'm pretty different than others. I can be funny, I can be goofy, silly, you name it. Like, I'm not for everybody. That's okay. I'm not trying to be for everybody. I just want to, you know, help other people who are interested in really making significant changes in their life after stroke and navigating that journey because it is, again, not easy to GamePlan for somebody in their mid 40s, who's maybe also apparently surprisingly young, to be a stroke survivor is going to have a very different take than somebody who's, you know, a little bit older, maybe in a different state, like it's just it's like a different city, you know, physically mentally it's just not easy. So if I can help anybody, you know, that's, that's my goal with this podcast with this show, and, you know, supporting others stroke survivors on their journey. So I think when it goes to diversity of support networks, one of the things I want to talk about today that I think I glaze over sometimes is, you know, again, I'm different than most I, again, I'm not for everybody, but I think it is really important to, you know, initially, it's, I would say, for those starting out, just maybe kind of, maybe you just had a stroke, maybe your family or a friend or a loved one just had a stroke, and they're trying to figure things out, obviously, you're tight circle is good place to start. But eventually, you're gonna want to grow, you're gonna want to, like, you're gonna go through experiences, other people may understand, you know, my family is super understanding. But the reality is, they are not living my exact life. And I try to communicate things, but that might be difficult, depending on your state, you know, if you have aphasia or you know, trouble communicating, it might be difficult to communicate what's going through your mind, and sharing that with others. No matter how much you love them, if you can't get the words out, it can be difficult, you know, you can understand, but again, there, it's communication. might be tricky. So, I think talking to other survivors is good, definitely good, because it gives you that initial base, it gives you other people who can really relate to what you're going through, in some way, shape or form. Because tons and tons of doctors and therapists alike, they all mean well. And generally, they have a better understanding than most, but they're still not actual stroke survivors in most cases. I mean, that happens at times, but there are tons of people in the medical field or or physical therapists, occupational therapists, etc, that really, really, truly know what it means. You know, so again, it is good to meet other stroke survivors, other brain injury survivors to communicate it to talk to discuss, but I think one of the things people contend to get stuck. I don't know if stuck is the right word. But you don't want to get into a support group where you're really commiserating together. I mean, that's okay. We all want to do that. Sometimes we all have down days, and we want to relate and talk to others and make sure we're not having extreme feelings or any of those things. But I just a caution, I guess is when we think about support groups, have a support group have friends that are survivors meet other people experience things, but don't dismiss the both the benefits and possibilities of additional support groups in a non traditional sense, whether that's just you know, if, if I don't know, what's an example. This is really bad example. But if you're somebody who likes to play bingo, you know, make sure you go do things. And I know, bingos, not really a support group, but like, involve yourself in groups and activities that are beyond just stroke survivors, or just brain injury survivors, you know, it takes time. But I think as you start to build that competence, slowly, but surely. And when I talk about building competency, I am talking about like, there's a whole process and it's going to be different for everybody. But I think we kind of forget, but you almost have to go back to when you're a kid that you slowly learn how to do things and you progress over time. Like not every kid comes out in kindergarten. speaking like a fifth grader, like, you know, it takes a couple years now. Hopefully, after stroke, obviously, we'd all want to go back to being a fifth kindergartener, and Serway at the beginning, I mean, it could feel that way. At the beginning, I always joke that I, my, my youngest I'm sometimes I feel like a seven year old in some capacities, but you know, other areas, like I know that I put a little work and I've shown myself Yes, I'm starting at almost what I would call ground zero. And, you know, not to make light of New York and I love them, but like, you know, you're starting at the beginning in some capacities, right. But you also kind of am one of the things I thought about this week when I was thinking about this show. I'll give you a good example. Like weightlifting is something I enjoy something I'm doing something I'm actively trying to get back to. I'm not lifting the way I was when I'm 20 but also a lot better than you You're one. Now in year one, I was lifting five pound weights. It really seemed ridiculous to me that my body can only lift like I was like dumbbell curling like five pound weights, I was like, This is insane. I'm six foot eight 325 pounds, like, you know, obviously, then I was a little bigger as like five pounds is like nothing like I could sweat five pounds, you know, just to running a couple laps. But over time, I realized like, oh, right, if I do five pound weights for a week, then all of a sudden, I'm at 10 pound weights, I do 10 pound weights for another week, then am I you know, it compounds quickly. Over time, all that to say, again, I know got a little off track there. And I'm going to talk about that more later in this episode. But when it comes to rebuilding self confidence, it is a slow process it it takes time building, like when you're going and building your support network. Again, think of those non traditional things, think about, think about hobbies, we talked about that a couple of weeks ago, hobbies that you enjoy. Try to push yourself in a way that you feel comfortable, like small groups, maybe to start. There's lots of resources, like, you know, now that the world is a little bit, we're a little bit out of that code base, obviously want to be careful, depending on your situation. But like if you're if you feel comfortable going out and meeting new people, you know, there's great resources like meetup.com, there's probably tons of things your area in your neighborhood, just like you know, start to steal slowly meet people, don't overwhelm yourself, don't force yourself, you know, if you sign up for something, and you change your mind, don't beat yourself up about it. But I think what I've learned over the last couple of years is kind of wanted to get back out there. And I don't know, really, if COVID Through this awful little bit for me. Maybe others feel the same. But I was definitely hesitant because I have MS because of having a stroke. Like at a young age, I'm more susceptible. So I was very nervous. Florida is different than other places, we kind of got back to things pretty quickly. You know, it didn't really bother me. But I kind of like initially, like the first probably year and a half. I didn't really even when I got the first vaccine. And I got the vaccine because I'm like, Yeah, pumped me with whatever. Because I know everybody has a different take on that. This is not about the vaccine, whether you're for it or against it, I just feel comfortable with it. Because I was like, I put so many bad things in my body throughout my life. And I led to a stroke at 37 that vaccine for me, in my mind couldn't lead to anything worse. And basically, I felt like I'd been through the worst. So no matter what happened, I was looking at an amount we're gonna have another stroke. But thankfully, that hasn't happened from the vaccine. So, you know, again, everybody do, do you do your own thing, do what you feel is best, but it has, it took a while to feel comfortable going out and doing more things. I've since obviously added to that. But I would say now I feel comfortable, pretty comfortable going to most things that maybe I wouldn't go to I've yet to fly. Which is not my favorite activity anyway. So I think that is one of the few things that I really like an airport feels still kind of overwhelming to me. But I am ready to travel, I'm ready to go places and I've talked about that on my other show. You know, unfortunately, I'm not gonna be able to travel this week for a thing that I was gonna go to but um yeah, I feel like I'm almost there. Like I've it's been almost a four year, you know, three and a half year journey. To really feel like my old self, there are still things that I want to improve. But building up over time finding support networks, and thinking about things outside of traditional support networks, you know, slowly integrating myself I do have to push myself because I tend to be introverted. As I get older, I want to stay home. I don't drink I don't smoke. So going out and socializing isn't as much is a mental thing for me. You know, I'm getting there, but it's I don't want to put myself in a weird spot. So again, slowly but surely I'm getting to it and I've noticed that talking to others helps slowly, you know, smaller groups is definitely for me. Having that support network which fortunately, tomorrow is my my local support group. Meet Up, which I'm really excited about, I hope that people show up this time because there's a nut job last month, it's been difficult. One of the things with survivors in general is like, I feel like we all want that help. But sometimes we also don't want that help, which is a really weird thing. I think, I'm not alone. Like, sometimes you're like, I want to go talk to other people. But then like, all of a sudden, it comes up and like me, I don't know, not today. So I think we can also tend to push or turn ourselves out of it. And, you know, I can't say with any certainty, but I think there is. Again, everyone's different, different shapes, different sizes, different backgrounds. But I feel like, that's why the online community is such an important thing for me to continue to build out. And I'm really excited to talk to the group tomorrow to see how they feel about it. And you know, how we can get that really rolling. Because I was thinking about that today. I said, I'm a very different stroke survivor. But I feel like I'm really good at organizing and running a group of people. And I'm really protective. So like, building a community is important to me, because I know it's important to other people I like I feel like I would be the good person to manage and protect and make sure people feel safe and comfortable on having discussions, chats. You know, if there's somebody that needs to be kicked out of the group, I'm also very vocal, wouldn't be afraid to kick somebody out of the group. You know, but I think that's going to come over time. It's, it's, it's something I wanted to really get into this year. But I think I slowed down on that, because I really want to build it right, and I want to build it well, and I want it to be inclusive, and I wanted to our people that feel like they're a part of something special. And something I hope you can get locally. But not everybody can get it locally, right? So a lot of people can get the internet and get online and become part of an online community and hopefully get support they need and just talk to people when they have questions or like, Hey, I'm feeling this way today, does anybody felt like this before with their their situation after stroke, like, I see it a lot online, especially in forums, but I feel like a little bit more than a forum would be, you know, place places to have conversations and a connection is is important, you know, and I think being able to do it from home as a stroke survivor, as an introvert I Paya I'm not alone here, I think we do feel that and building up that support network online, can help translate to the real world and rebuild that confidence. But, you know, again, we'll see and that's, that's going to be different for everybody says building up a support network is really a number one thing like, because just to wrap it up, we have loved ones who are tremendous, who are hopefully helping you at home. And my family has helped me a ton people around have been helping a throw, people are always pretty willing to help. But eventually, you know, that help slows down. And you really need to have a support network of other people that, you know, in various formats that you can kind of go to and rely on and, you know, take some of the burden off your family because, you know, I don't think any of us want to be a burden. So it's important to kind of get yourself back out there, put yourself out there, but it is a slow process. And it takes practice and takes time. So which I think is a nice, yeah, that's a good way to kind of go into our next part, which is when it comes to rebuilding self confidence after you know, after stroke, I think one of the things I struggled with, especially early on, and again, I don't think I'm alone in this. I may be but I was very ambitious. In the beginning, I thought I'd be able to do a lot more than I wound up being able to do. That's a good and bad thing. It's a good thing because it makes you know, I have a drive for some reason, probably because I'm a parent probably because I felt very guilty because I knew. In hindsight, a lot of the things that probably led to my stroke were things that were preventable in my case, and I really so wish that I had changed my life the way I have now sooner, because it would have been a lot nice, you know, there's a good bed. But it definitely would have been easier to not be a stroke survivor age 40. And to really to not have had a stroke at 37 would have been a huge win. But there are pluses that have come out of it. I tried to see the bright side. I tried to talk about the positive side. You know, we all have down days. We've talked about that many times on this show. But I do believe one of the things looking back is that I was a little ambitious and I've learned over time To be a little more realistic in my goal setting, break them down a little bit smaller, I think, you know, I tend to be like, I'm going to change the world. And I think I'm going to do it in two days. And really, when you break down, that's, that's not a bad goal to have. But you should be probably more specific. You know, how, what are the milestones to get to that? Then what are the steps to get to each milestone to get to the ultimate goal? So I think there's really important, something I didn't do necessarily, in the beginning, something I still kind of struggle with, even with my businesses, like I get very ambitious, I get ramped up, which is great, because it gets me fired up and passionate. And I think I'm going to do it. And I often do do it. And sometimes I do it. So I'm so good at doing the thing that I do at full force. And it turns out, I didn't do enough freeze, get to do enough research, or I put all the effort into a thing. It wound up being, you know, not the right thing exactly. Because I was so excited and ambitious that I went and did a whole thing. And then it wound up being either a flop or just not what I thought it would be because I didn't talk to enough people. And I think I think a lot of people can probably relate to this, whether it's business or work or even just a hobby. If you're into something in particular, like you know, I don't know why I always say knitting. But if you're into knitting, you know, you want to make a blanket, well, you probably should start with a smaller item, right? It makes sense. But we often don't think of these things because you're just like, I want to knit a blanket, or in my case, like when I was a woodworker, I want to build a kitchen table, which I did do. But I gotta be honest, I probably should have started with like a smaller project. You know, and I, you we all learn that. And you know, over time, I did go back to basics of woodworking. And this is just a great example that I happen to just think of at this very moment because like one of the first woodworking projects I did was build a table. It was not a very great table. But I, I learned I learned my lesson, I spent money, I built the thing, it took me forever. It wasn't the worst, but I wound up using it briefly and I want to know why I was able to repurpose it, at least to build something else. And something better that was actually very useful and very functional. In our old house in Virginia. I was turning a table into some outdoor deck furniture, which wasn't the fanciest but it served its purpose. And I liked it because it worked out really well. Because deck deck and patio furniture is always that weird thing that I don't really want to buy or I didn't at the time. It's it's kind of a lot of money. And, you know, eventually, depending on where you live in the weather, it may not hold up or you know, stand the test of time. But ironically, though, the ones I built really last until the end that we are throwing them out just when we move because we knew we didn't want them anymore. But yeah, they were definitely still in pretty good shape when we left. And yeah, we just want to give them away to somebody not throwing them out. But yeah. But yeah, that that is that is a an important part. And I think a lot of people talk about this and depending on your world and where you're, what you're watching what you're reading what you're listening to, you might hear it a lot, you might hear it never setting realistic goals really is important in stroke recovery. It's important in every facet of life, but I feel like small realistic goals will help you as a stroke survivor because again, this is my experience and yours may vary. But I I don't see the negatives in this. I think everybody, whatever sage, whatever point, whether you're again, the survivor, whether you're a survivor of another brain injury similar to stroke, auto immune, caregiver care to your friend and family member, etc. Like y'all can, can take this and use it in your life. You can use it to help the survivor or the you know, the individual really going through the recovery process. Whatever the role, setting realistic small goals, I think we can all agree does help build momentum, right? So we want to be see, you know, it's a good way to is to it doesn't leave us feeling defeated. You know, when the goals are small, they're obtainable. When things are obtainable, we can sort of see that progress and at least for me, When I start to see progress, and I start to get that momentum over time that compounds and it really does have a compounding effect of small steps. You know, and they're achievable in their, their incremental goals and their building blocks. And a really, you know, like I said, it goes from the steps to the milestone the milestones the bigger goal. I think you see it in every you see it a lot in sports, you see it a lot in life. Why think when you look back at your own, whether it's your recovery journey, whether it's just been your your your work history throughout life, whether it's a milestone you had for for your family, you know, things don't happen overnight. You don't, you don't graduate, high school or college and suddenly be a homeowner, like there are steps to get to homeownership, you have to sacrifice at times, and cut back and save money and spend less and make more and, you know, it's not particularly fun all the time. But like, that's, that's sort of that same. The same thing. So like I said, same with career, like, I think we all start out at a certain level, and we all want to grow and get better and make more money. Generally speaking, you know, we're trying to build our, our life and our family. The same way we're trying to build ourselves competence after stroke. And it can be really difficult that stroke, I think, because, again, I think I said this earlier, but one of the biggest hits to being a stroke survivor, at least for me was like, wow, like, it's not not only Yes, or like, did I had to like relearn how to walk, relearn, how to eat, relearn, how to, like, take care of myself, my health, my body, mentally, physically, emotionally, like, all those say, my diet, like everything, basically, starting back at zero, you know, and then when I think about the skills and the motor skills, like I couldn't open my hand, year one, I couldn't walk year one, you know, event and like, now I'm running, but it's three and a half, you're going December, oh, it'd be four years. Even doing this podcast, like I didn't start this year, one of my stroke recovery. I started my other podcast, so the end of year one. You know, it wasn't that I wasn't comfortable talking about this, I just didn't think I could help other people. But now I realize like, okay, there are people who have been strokes are as long as me who are still struggling, or strokes are so young, older and younger, they span so many age ranges, but there's not so many resources. And it's really disheartening, kind of, because like, I think many people are struggling, and it takes a while. And it can be a long process and anything you can do to help speed it up. You know, this may seem rudimentary or basic to some people, but there are plenty of people who may not understand that setting realistic goals. And setting small realistic goals will help you build momentum, and not everybody will have that same experience. But generally speaking, slow, slow and steady, small and steady. Like, again, think about your own life and everything up till now. Till now, where have you seen success in the past? How do you translate that to being a stroke survivor? I think it's all you know, I often talk about sports, and that that sports background has been really helpful in my recovery. Now, again, everybody's gonna have different, different take different experience different insights. But yeah, just think about all the psychological aspects of it. And you know, how consistency and small efforts can really build momentum in your life and in your recovery is super important. You know, and into that same vein, when we talk about the small wins, and you maybe sign sight is 2020 For everybody else, too. But like, I just kind of wish that I had seen this earlier talked about it more earlier, because I realized now like, yeah, that really, I mean, it makes so much sense, but you don't think about it in the moment. And that's why I discuss it. You know, sometimes I feel like it'd be a dead horse because I'm saying something repetitive. To all of you who are listening who are watching, but like, I feel like sometimes things don't sink in until it just sinks in for us. Right? And like, you might hear me say it a million times. And it might not sinking into the man made 2 million time. And that's all of a sudden that's changing your life. You know, I've had experiences like the nasal breathing. I talked about that. A couple of episodes out. We're beginning of the year, a couple of weeks ago. Nasal Breathing again. You know, and there are other people who talk about humor in the big guy talking about nasal breathing now, but like, again, I talked about Patrick McGowan and oxygen advantage because you Don't the book breath by James S are like, these are good resources and whoever you hear from however you're here like that, that might be the game changer you need for your recovery. And so all that to say is that we all learn differently. We all do, if it is repetitive, I'm sorry, but that's just gonna happen on the show about server being a survivor, and especially rebuilding self confidence. You know, it's going to be different for everybody. Like I said, but I think when you're setting those realistic, smaller goals, it has a compounding effect. And when you're hitting those milestones, and you're hitting those steps and those milestones and meet, hopefully, you're hitting the ultimate goal of getting to what you feel is 100%. Or very close. Don't forget to hit Oh, there's so much mental and physical and emotional thing is that don't don't forget to reward yourself and celebrate those small wins. It sounds corny, it sounds silly. But acknowledging those that what you're doing is working again, reinforces I think, the positive effects of whatever you like, you've been through a stroke, you've been through a major medical life, and you've had to kind of rebuild your life. You've had to rebuild, physically, you've had to rebuild emotionally, you probably have had to rebuild your diet, you had to rebuild quite a few things. You know, I'm having a brain fart right now. But like, we're rebuilding our entire lives that we basically, suddenly one day found ourselves in a weird spot having to rebuild from scratch. So celebrating those wins is important. You deserve it. You know, only other survivors really, I think truly know and understand what that means and adjust how hard it is. So yeah, don't be afraid celebrate. I know it can feel it can feel awkward. Sometimes. This is back actually why a support network and group have varying degrees of varying people matters. Because finding people that can help you celebrate your wins and your successes is super important. And your family are, hopefully is amazing, right? But they may not celebrate the same way. But another survivor who realizes all the work you put into a thing and your goal you hit that you had for yourself. A and it sounds corny, it sounds cheesy, perhaps. But hopefully it doesn't. Because I think this goes for everybody in life. You know, life is hard, right? We all we can all agree on that. It doesn't matter if you're a stroke survivor or not. Life is hard enough. So celebrating small wins. Or wins of any kind. It doesn't matter small, big on how big good week celebrate it like. I mean, there's a way to celebrate it, of course, but like I'm not trying to say, I mean, it's just important to celebrate those wins, because there's so especially as a survivor, we've been through some difficult as shit. Like, again, people don't realize how hard it is to come back from a stroke. And how hard it is to even get to like what I consider 85%, which is what I always say I'm at because I feel like I put in a lot of work. And you probably have to and hopefully you're celebrating those wins. I know what I was gonna say, don't be afraid to celebrate your wins, because they're so important. And you earn them. And you deserve them. Right. And I know that I feel guilty sometimes. And it can seem like we're bragging but really, anybody who thinks is true survivor is bragging. First of all, I mean, who cares? Honestly, if you know you're a stroke survivor, you know, unless you're saying something wildly crazy, like celebrate those wins, enjoy them, because you've worked so hard. And again, it doesn't matter if you had a stroke because it was maybe like I feel my stroke was preventable in hindsight, but I never anticipated having that stroke. I never thought I was doing anything bad enough to have a stroke and to go through that. So yes, there is a little bit of guilt at times. But man, I have worked hard to come back from it. And again, I don't want to make it seem easy to anybody out there who thinks it's easy and sees me. It's been a lot of hard work. You know, again, I didn't walk for a while I did a couple of speaking for the first like couple months. I didn't have aphasia necessarily but I just had difficulty like my The muscles in my mouth. Because the MS actually was what was making speaking so hard and would sometimes still make speaking hard. And yes, I'm tired today, I'm recording later in the day, I'm recording her 60 miles of running. But yeah, don't be afraid to celebrate, celebrate with your loved one, celebrate with those around you celebrate with the people supporting you because it is so hard. So, so hard and so difficult to come back from stroke. And anything that is a positive win. And you put effort into you deserve to celebrate that you deserve to be celebrated. Don't let anybody tell you differently. You know, again, there is there is a way to do it. You don't want to come off braggadocious I guess but that's probably not the right word. But yeah. Final thoughts really on this episode. Right, see, you know, highlight, highlight your support network, find a decent diverse support network, you know, there find support in different places, and maybe places you're not even currently thinking of always try to think outside the box, think about like, what else are their hobbies or activities you used to enjoy that you'd like to bring back into your life. Again, finding other survivor groups is great finding, you know, finding what you need is really the most important thing, whatever that looks like to you. And if something's not working, you know, don't be afraid to let it go and try something else. But again, small, achievable goals compound over time, really want to drive that home, because I think that's super important, especially if you're somebody who's ambitious and bites off a big tends to bite off a bigger chunk than they can necessarily to me, always guilty of that, that no one's really for me. But hopefully, hopefully, if you're somebody like me who is that way, you know, deep down, smaller is better, because again, that compounding effect over time, will yield. Probably not necessarily probably better results. And having patience and being resilient. You know, keep trying things. Realize that, you know, everybody, even things I'm saying may not work for you. Hear people out, listen to them. See how you can take what other people are saying and sharing and incorporate that into your life and find out what what essential parts are working for you. Use those resources and celebrate the arduous and rewarding journey because again, regaining Self confidence is a slow process. I feel like I'm kind of, I really very much feel like in year. For me, this is year three, I've dedicated a lot of the last couple of years to rebuilding it, we're not there yet, but I'm definitely a lot better than I was. So if you're earlier in this journey, just know. I can't say everybody's gonna be 100% I have no idea what people are going through, necessarily, but like, generally speaking, if you put in actual hard work, and you're making an effort, keep making that effort, because you will see the rewards if you're not seeing them yet. I promise you, you'll see them over time. And again, the goal of this podcast and to build a larger community within this podcast and this show is that if you're somebody who is struggling, I'd love to talk to you. I'd love to see how I can help how I can help support you. What are the things that you want to hear? What are the things you want to learn about what are the things you want to hear? Maybe from my experience, you know, I can talk to a couple people a week now. I'm starting to hear what other people are struggling with what other people need. Again, you know, people who are reaching out on I'm on Tik Tok. I'm on Instagram on Twitter or x. You know, I really should try to get more active on Facebook, because I know there are great support groups there. But I have a little weird thing with Facebook. But yeah. available on most social media. You can DM me shownotes as your podcast. Oh, boy. survivor.com Hit me up there. I could definitely I look. I know I can look intimidating, but I swear I'm one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. I'm super supportive of people around me. Friends and family know that I think anybody who is a survivor knows that it is hard. And I'm here to support that. So you know, we'll leave it there for this week. I don't have many things to mention. I will say that I did. Finish Whitney Cummings book really interesting. Take again, I'm a big fan of Whitney Cummings. So if you're a fan of comedy, I have a lot of good comedy recommendations this week. Football is back that's been interesting. You can also check out my other podcasts radiate podcast fired up edition. That is me being a little less serious and talking about other things beyond stroke, just kind of life and fatherhood and things like that. So yeah, but again, I'm not as scary as I look I think a lot of people tell me this on social media that my picture looks scary I'm not scary. That's why I started doing video already actually friendly guy love chatting with people I love seeing how I can help support so if you're a survivor, or you're somebody who's working with a survivor or yours, a family member with a unfortunately new survivor in your family, and you just want some help and support, you know, hub dot level survivor.com There's time to book a free call if you you know, if if you're in a rush and there is no free spots available for the month that are paid options at times. So yeah, you can you can always hit me up in DMS on social media tick tock, I'm pretty active on Instagram pretty active on x. I'm kind of going back and forth there with X slash Twitter. And yeah, like I said, anytime, let me know and even questions, comments, concerns podcasts, global sorted I can do is we'll leave it there for the week. Bye for now.