29. Prioritizing Self-Care: The Key to Thriving After a Stroke

What's up everybody a couple quick notes before hopping to this week's episode, it is very loud in my house. So I'm gonna make this as brief as possible. This week is episode 29 of the podcasts and we are talking about putting yourself first as a survivor, it is unnatural, it feels weird. All the feelings, all the things, it is however important to the recovery journey. Putting yourself first, in short, allows you to have the best possible chance for recovery. I know it can feel weird, especially if you're somebody who likes helping other people, he just did days of thing. We as survivors have to kind of overcome. And it's part of the process. But if you put yourself first you give yourself the best long term chance at full recovery, or really the best recovery that works for you and your life and your situation. Again, everybody's different. We say that all the time. It's, you know, it's a given at this point. But really, you know, it's about putting yourself first not always, but more than probably you're used to. And again, that's so that you can have the best possible long term recovery so that you can enjoy the rest of your life the way you know, the way things were probably before the stroke. Obviously, after stroke, things just things change. We adapt, we overcome. But yeah, it's a long process. And again, it it does take time to get to that place. But once you realize you do really have to put yourself first. Everything else gets a little bit easier, I wouldn't say definitely easier, but easier. And so that's the big topic on this week's podcast. Let's see things we want to shout out. But I did not talk about a book. But I want to shout out Whitney Cummings book. It's a really great book. She's an amazing comedian, and talked about a bunch of podcasts, you know, different tips and tricks that I've tried along the way. Some my experiences with stroke and putting myself first is definitely weird. As a father of three, with a wife, who's also deaf, I feel a lot of responsibility. But ultimately, I realized I can't be there for everybody else in my family if I don't take care of myself first. So that's really where this comes from. what else what else? What else? Yeah, I think that's pretty much it. So we'll leave it there. I know the one last thing I did talk about being the best stroke survivor and I mean that in the sense of being the best stroke survivor I can be so that I could provide for myself and provide for my family. So anyways, enjoy episode 29 other levels of our podcast My name is wills, we're back to another episode of warble survivor podcast. This week in Episode 29 of the podcast, we're gonna be talking about putting yourself first in stroke recovery. Why that's important. What it really means we'll talk about different takes different topics kind of go through as usual, on every episode, the full gamut of things. From the emotional to physical to nutritional, and why putting yourself first is really important when it comes to stroke cover. Everybody's got a different take, as always, not everybody's gonna agree with me, I bet I encourage you not to agree with me, I think, you know, my purpose for doing this podcast and these episodes is really to bring light to things to help other survivors who might be struggling identify things that might be make things easier sooner. Really just to help you along in your journey, because it is a very difficult process and we'll touch on that thing those things like we do every episode. So yeah, really was hop right into it this week. When it comes to putting yourself first What do I mean? I mean, you know, it is its simplest form. It's hard for you, as a survivor, to enjoy your life to live your best life. And these are the things that you deserve. arrived, whether you believe that or not, you do deserve the full possibility and potential for a great life. Now, different people have different feelings, they have different things they might need to overcome. I know for myself, I was keenly aware that I had put myself in a bad place, not even intentionally just found myself in a weird spot in my mid 30s, which I don't think is unusual, but it is a little unusual tower stroke at 37. Now, depending on your age and your stroke, you might have similar feelings, you might have different feelings. Your stroke could be very, very wildly different. I mean, I know people that were in their 70s, that were runners that were in great health who had strokes. I know one, one, she just went in for a procedure approaching retirement because she just wanted a change in her life. And, you know, she, I think like everybody, you know, there's always potential risks with any kind of surgery, but like, she didn't go in expecting to come out having had a stroke. It was kind of a to be clear, it was a simple like nose job, but she was just older and retiring and just kind of wanted that for herself. didn't think anything of it. And she wound up having a pretty debilitating stroke almost to my level. You know, we had different strokes. But, again, she didn't go into that thinking, she would be a stroke survivor, at the end of it, she just went in thinking she would just have a relatively routine procedure. So again, everybody goes through a different thing. And self care can take a little while to wrap your head around, it's, it's a difficult topic, especially if you're somebody who likes to give and give and help others and you know, put yourself or put others before yourself. I mean, I've been guilty of that, I'm still guilty of that, you know, I kind of run a household with my wife, my wife is deaf. My kids are, you know, I one child older to younger, like, it's just, it's a lot, there's a lot going on in our house. And, you know, we it's been a process for me. And I struggle with it. And that's what I'm talking about this week, because I stick I still struggle with it. I get a lot of flack from different people in my life, as I'm sure we all do as survivors. It's not easy to put yourself first, and it's not for everybody, and everybody's going to have a different opinion on how you should do things, what you should do what it means. But ultimately, it comes down to you as the survivor, it's, it's hard, it really is hard. And sometimes you're putting yourself first and then something comes up. And you know, you just kind of gotta sort of figure out what you want shifted, adapt, they're always going to be times where you got to drop everything, and somebody else in your family may have to come first. And that's fine. I mean, it's really not. It's not about developing narcissistic tendencies, although you probably will encounter that people really like, Oh, you're so selfish. But really, it's so much more complex than that. And I do think only survivors and people close to survivors really understand what it means. I'll give you an example. I'll give you a bunch of examples this episode. But uh, you know, again, it's physical, it's emotional, it's nutritional, you know, if you don't eat, right, it's very hard to show up, day after day, you know, exercise to the level that you want to exercise that makes you feel your best. It's hard to have that energy as a survivor. You know, I get a lot of flack for this. I don't want to be involved in everything. For every reason I have a certain amount of energy every day, you know, and I'm willing to give and give until I can't, and then I need to protect it because I need to conserve it. Because I need to be as a parent. As a survivor, I know that I might need to have a little more in the tank or later in the day, I might need it for my kids. There's always something that comes up every single day of my life, no matter how hard I prepare in advance. In fact, it happened 45 minutes ago, I was planning on doing things today. And we got a call from the school. One of my sons is not feeling well. It's okay, you will adapt, I have adjusted my life to take care of those moments. But it doesn't mean it's not hard. It doesn't mean it's not difficult to doesn't mean it's not annoying. It's just, you adapt. And you have, you know, you adapt, and you figure it out and you overcome those things. And it's no different with stroke recovery. And again, that's why Scott, self care is really important. It allows you to be the best, your best self, it allows you to be the best self, your best version for the people who need you, or what you around. And it goes back to setting boundaries and asking for help. I mean, those are, those are important parts of the self care regimen, everybody's got a different self care routine, it's a matter of finding out what works best for you what you really need, identifying those things. And then here's the gotcha, it's about communicating them to those around you. And communicating, you don't have to be 100%. But you, you should keep your family and your loved ones around you in the loop. Because, you know, they're, they might need something they might, you know, I'm a dad of three kids, my kids needs something, they all need unique things from me. Some need more, some days, some need other things, other days, you know, whether it's, it's money, it's help, it's this, it's that I mean, you know, as a parent, you're getting hit with things left and right. It's, it's never ending. So there's a lot of things. When it comes to self care and putting yourself first, don't think of it as selfish to give it as you really just need to be able to be your best version of yourself so that you can help the people that you want to help who have helped you along the way. And so it is a process, it is a lot of unlearning. It adds a lot of relearning. You know, maybe when you're younger, before your stroke, you had certain feelings, and that's okay. And I think when you go through recovery, over time, you start to realize things might need to shift to things may need to be different. And that's why, you know, I read a really great article on the flint rehab blog. If you're a survivor, you may have run into Flynn rehab. In some of their products, they have a great blog with lots of information. It's funny, because I think I've read this before, and I came across it again, a couple of days ago, and I want to bring it up on this show, because it's kind of irrelevant. It's 13 things that survivors wished others knew. And the reason this is important is because one as a survivor, I forgot a few of these things. So I know it's relevant to other survivors or watching this episode or listening to this episode. But also, it might be good, a good reminder for caregivers, caretakers, friends, family, people around us, you know, just reminders to yourself, or Mike or others around you. And, you know, I'll go through this list, and we'll talk about a few things because I think it is they're all kind of irrelevant to self care in some way, shape, or form. And they're good reminders to, to be kind to yourself to take care of yourself. And it's okay to ask for these things. As a survivor, it's okay to ask others around. To understand and it's, it's all about coming to an understanding and finding your way in the world after stroke. And back to the, the either the journey or the person that you were or want to become. It's all sort of irrelevant, but it's really important. And you know, these, these reminders are good. So I mean, I talked a little bit about protecting your energy, that is always a thing. And I think I had a really hard time in the beginning articulating this, to both my I mean, honestly to myself, to others around me to, to my wife, to my family, to supporters. You know, and over time, looking back now, all those things you hear in the beginning that sound really dumb are really stupid, like, are cliche, like the things that like it takes time and like you kind of really start to appreciate that later. As you get further along. I mean, we're almost for me, I'm approaching a year for not quite at four but getting toward the end of this year I'll be four years. And so these things make a lot more sense. They don't make them more pleasant but they do resonate more and you start to realize It's patience with yourself. It's patience with people around you. And, you know, again, it's about protecting energy. Sorry, just coughing a little bit today. Yeah, it's just there's a lot of things that I think we don't realize sometimes when it comes to protecting energy, and things around us that can drain us that we may not even realize are draining us. It's background noise. It's honestly I have a busy house, I have three kids, a wife whose death so it's four people plus my big ass and it's a I get overstimulated, we talked about that, the overwhelm that that is a real thing, overstimulated overwhelmed there, I kind of use them interchangeably, but it's a thing. You know, another one on this blog was like, making eye top eye contact with other people, you know, talking to people like human beings, like, you know, just because somebody's had a stroke, it can seem like things have changed, and they certainly have, but as a survivor, you're still human. It's a neurological, you know, your brain essentially has attacked itself deprived at a really important oxygen that most people are still getting to their brain. And obviously, you're getting now as a survivor, but you know, it just there is a whole process to healing. The brain is complicated. it rewires itself neuroplasticity, you know, these things, hopefully, will come back. But there is no definitive answer as to how much if everything will, how much will change over time. And again, it's, it's a very cliche thing to say, but it's a very different process for different people, because everybody is quite different. The brain is very complex, we know a ton about it. But we also know nothing about it at times. Science has come a long way in the last 20 3040 years. So we absolutely no more than we used to. But again, it can be difficult. And depending on other factors outside of just the the stroke incident itself. Things could be faster, things could be slower. Things go in bursts. So it's just it's a it's a really long process. And so what most survivors want others to know is that it's not. It's not that you're not there. It's not that you can't process things. It's just at slower rates. This is not in the actual article, which I will put in the show notes today. But like one of the things I've always joked about is really quite true. When I had my stroke, and I still feel this way, is that my, my youngest, I think was four at a time. Yeah. No, he might be through three, just turning four. Can't remember exactly. But he's Yeah, yeah, he's, he was turning four. Or he had just turned four. And so he's now seven. And I've joked for the longest time that like, my stroke at age 37, was basically put me back at his level, it's like playing a game of Candyland. And getting to the top of the board was to be the winner. And then you go all the way back down to the bottom. And although that is an extreme example, that is a really good description of how things were in a lot of ways for me, now I didn't have I did have trouble with speech for a while. That was relatively temporary compared to a lot of other things. My handwriting is so barely better than his. And he's seven. And so in some ways, I was very lucky. I'm very thankful for the things that didn't go all the way back to the beginning of the game. But there are things that are still very much a struggle almost like I am an undeveloped seven year old. In some ways. I can't think of the specific examples at the moment, but like, you know, walking took me a while to get to running is so not I do it every day. I do it actively. I do it aggressively, I would say but it's not the way I used to be able to run. That may never be the case, that may never be the case, because I'm now 40. It also may be it's probably more due to my stroke, a little bit of a mess. And then a little bit of the fact that I'm 40 and I'm never going to be able to run the way I was able to run when I was 20 and I hate it when I was 20. So I'm okay with enjoying running now at age 40. I don't care if it's slower, I would love it to take a little less time I'm on my day, but generally speaking, I'm okay with certain things. But anyways, back to this article, you know, a couple more points that I want to talk about when it comes to self care, because I think a lot of times I get, I personally get a lot of shit for this, and I struggle with it myself. I'm so sorry. Just coughing left and right during this episode. Sleep is a big one. It I struggled with this in the in the beginning, not so much, because I just knew I needed sleep. But even more so now because I'm running so many miles a day, my body needs more time to heal. You know, I also have Ms. So that is part of it as well. I really need a solid eight hours. And I don't really bend on that rule. So sometimes I get up later than most adults typically get up in the day, because I will stay up till past 12 One o'clock in the morning. But I adjust my schedule, it's not the best, I'm trying to actively work on it all the time. So I'm not I'm not say up as late, but I am getting the bed earlier that I am rising earlier. You know, and then on top of that, because I'm a big guy because of Ms and stroke, I get that deep sleep, it takes me a bit of time to get, you know, I'm a big clunky machine, so to speak. takes me a while to warm up in the morning. But it's okay. And if you're having this to just remember, it's okay. Sleep is an important part of brain recovery, it is important part of stroke recovery, the brain requires more time to heal. It also requires more energy each and every day to retrieve information to relearn incoming information to just learn ongoing information like it takes time. And it's not about shaming other people, it's not about shaming yourself, just realize it's a thing and you might have to account for more more time sleeping more to it may take you longer to warm up or just get moving in the morning. Because you might be older, now you're older and you've suffered, you know, a major medical life event that most people will never realize how difficult that is to overcome. And on top of that, it just generally, you know, life after stroke is more challenging than it used to be. That is the unfortunate reality. That is the one thing that is true that will never unfortunately change in most cases. You know, you may figure out a little things to shave off time here and there. And you learn to adapt over a period of time. But you know, even four years into active recovery, things just take more time. And I guess you know, at a certain point, you realize that and you just have to be okay with that it actually is helpful in some regards, you learn what's really important, what's not, you know, and I still struggle with that, too. I think we all do. Where I get really roped into a thing I get ultra focused, because I used to be that way. And you know, I think it's just it's just the thing, it's, you know, it's, it's not right or wrong, it's different. We're all different. So yeah, a couple other things I imagined from this article, there's, again, I'll put the link in the show notes. It's a great thing. Great reminders that sleep has really nothing to do with laziness, and it has everything to do with the brain healing and whether you're on year one, recovery, year, two, year three, year five year 10, it just doesn't matter. You're going to take it take to sleep. Don't shame yourself to let others shame you. Do what you need to do to be your best self because ultimately, that's how you know there's no reason to go through a stroke, survive the stroke and not enjoy life. I mean, that to me is silly. At the end of the day, at the end of the day is an extra hour of sleep is a good you know, it's going to change your life only in a positive way. Because you'll be less grumpy, less tired more. You'll have more energy, more ability to show up for yourself and for others if you desire that. Yeah, it's just it's the whole thing. And let's see. Yeah, the last point of this article, and I was kind of talking about this, because I think it's important to self care and putting yourself first is that, you know, you deserve love, whether that's from others around you from a partner or spouse, but you deserve to love yourself and love your life after stroke. It's a really hard, difficult thing that I think we talked about every week on this show is that people who never really go through this, and hopefully never do have to go through this, because let's be honest, I don't think anybody picks and chooses this, this life, but yeah, you, you, you sort of want to go through this, whether it was sort of self inflicted, like mine, where I had made poor choices, and really wasn't being at a, you know, wasn't in the shape that I would have wished I would have been in sooner. I do take a lot of ownership of that. And I wish I could have changed things. But ultimately, I can only control now what I can control, which is really giving myself the best opportunity and the best life forward in my recovery. And I'm always going to be a survivor. For the rest of my life, that's not going to change, but I do, I do have more control. And that's why I think putting yourself first is really important. And it can be difficult, and I struggle with it. I do. Because I feel sometimes Am I being too narcissistic, am I? Am I too concerned about myself and my recovery? Should I be doing this? Should I be doing that, and it is really a struggle, I want to make sure that everybody knows, like, I'm not just saying this, because of the podcast, I'm saying it because I really do struggle with this. And I think I'm not alone. You know, I believe that I deserve to have the best life. But I also I know that if if I'm not taking care of myself, number one, how am I going to be able to provide the way my family wants me to provide? You know, my wife will give me kind of stuff sometimes. And it's like, no, I need like, and you know, and it's probably on me, probably need to communicate better. Always working on it. But yeah, it's it's not easy. And you do have to make choices. And sometimes, you know, it's like, I want to show up, and I want to do a thing, and I want to be there for my kids. But I had to make this other choice. Because if I don't, don't say no now, I'm going to have to say no later to something I really want to say yes. So, and I think that's that's one of the hardest parts as a parent as a survivor is it all comes down to choices. And for me, I have a track record of making so many poor choice, I will say bad I just like sometimes I've been very short sighted in my choices in life. And that was before definitely before the stroke. But after you know, and I I'm trying to do an active better job always being better making the best choice in the moment, even if I'm getting shit from other people around me. And I do you struggle with it. And people because people in my life will tell me, you need to do this, you need to do that. And like, do I? Do I really need to? And do you need to ask yourself, and I really do. I mean people don't believe me. But I assure you in my mind. And I would say people don't believe me. I mean, the people around me sometimes don't believe me, I'm actively thinking about consciously making choices. And one of the things that I'm overcoming is that I used to make choices for different reasons. But now I'm making choices. You know, again, for different reasons, but I'm, I'm I'm, I'm more active in participating in my head, about the choice perhaps at times I need to be better about communicating it, but that's on me. And that's something I'm actively working on. I think as a stroke survivor, all you can ask yourself is Am I making sort of the best choice for me as a survivor? am I setting boundaries? And I am I asking the hard questions of myself and those around me by asking for help when I need to, you know this again, this goes to physical, emotional, nutritional exercise like everything, always be asking questions. It's it's it's kind of a nonstop process of evolution, if we're being clear. I mean, I think it's about learning to accept some of the flaws, some of the things some things going on in our life. Do you need to have more Patience. Do you need to find words you need to find clarity? It says yeah, this is difficult. So yeah. And anyways, lots going on in this episode. Trying to think what else what else I had a lot of thoughts when I was running today, earlier. Yeah, as you can see. Now in 4k, I'm sweating through my white hoodie. We got a new camera new lights, a little bit of a change up here on the show. Good to see how it looks kind of excited. I'm also recording another episode of another show this afternoon. I know we've been talking about it for months, but I am bringing back the Lydia podcasts because I I just I'm excited I have things I want to talk about. I love doing this show I love even if this show never makes $1 And I never had millions of followers, which I don't even really want. I really want to help other survivors I show up here sweating every week so that you can see that I'm in year going into year four. And I've worked down from 500 pounds and a stroke survivor with Ms. And I'm still now a stroke survivor with Ms. But I'm down a couple 100 pounds of putting in the work I do the exercise I show up to this show. Sweating in a hoodie. Which is ridiculous because it's putting I'm putting these episodes on to YouTube. Now starting to you can see the first two episode 23 and 24 are now live on the channel youtube.com/global survivor. like it subscribe. Now I'm sorry, I'm gonna try not to do that because I love YouTube. Get the process we all have to sort of you don't have to do anything. I don't think we have to succumb to the algorithm. But I do think you know, we encourage people to like and subscribe, whether it's here on YouTube, whether it's on iTunes, whether it's on Spotify, one of the things I want to sort of work on towards the end of this year is the lovable Sariah brand and how can I how can I make it you know, beneficial for for both you and I like I am doing those calls started off for free calls paid calls. Primarily for survivors. But if you are a company looking to work with somebody who's a stroke survivor in your organization, and you need some some help there you know that's that's an option you whether you're your structure are going through it and you just want to chat and talk to somebody. limited resources. I do want to build the community I want to build something around this show. I think we're on the way. The reason I kind of got off on a tangent there. But I am bringing back lovable idiot podcast because as much as I love working and talking with survivors, I don't do as much woodworking as I used to do, which was a real creative outlet for me prior to my stroke, because I worked in web development full time and then I would go out the garage in my shop and I was watching YouTube building projects because honestly in our first house we were house for we owned our house, but like we didn't have tons of money all the time for furniture and new things. So I was learning how to build things that we needed kind of and didn't want to just build crap, I wanted to build good stuff. So I learned and developed skills and woodworking. Over the course of our time living in Virginia, I got really good at that did bought this house here in Florida thinking, you know, I would become a full time woodworker on YouTube never panned out because the stroke. And it's something that could happen 10 years, 20 years down the road. Maybe when I retire you know, I just got it. I mean, I'm working my way back into it. I'm just not as deeply passionate about it. These days because, you know, fingers, I'd like to keep them. I've had a stroke, I have a mess. I'm not looking to lose a finger. So yeah, that's just I'm kind of slowly very slowly getting back into that. And I want to, you know, stay on track with the podcasts and the shows on YouTube with which is really survivor focus. That is a big thing in my life. It is. I don't think anybody sets out to be the best stroke survivor. I didn't even know what that means. It just sounds ridiculous saying it. But to be honest, I think I'm a pretty good survivor. I sort of figured out some things that honestly, I wish I had resources early on. You know, there's lots of people on YouTube now doing different things, but I did too. and find it or I found it later. And I wish I had found it sooner. So I just think I have a unique personality, unique traits unique style might be. I know I'm not for everybody like a big six foot eight loudmouth. You know, 325 pound dad who's 40 with three kids and a wife who's deaf, I mean, that's just that's just scratching the surface. And that doesn't even tell you all I mean, that's a surface level information about me. But I've had a pretty, pretty interesting life. I could have done without the stroke, and so bad, pretty interesting. But yeah, this, this is really for anybody out there who is younger, who is struggling, it's honestly, I want to build a show for it, or any stroke survivor, because it is a very small community. And I said that last week, and I'm probably gonna start say it every episode. It's hard at any age to overcome a stroke. And, you know, again, I might not be everybody's flavor of strokes are but I do. Part of the reason I show up on camera sweating, Vivaro recorded so that, you know, I just came in from outside or from Iran for a couple of miles to really to do this podcast. And every week, I sit here I do it. I record and then I record another show. And then I go back out and finish running for the day. And I'm really, I believe in what I'm doing is working for me. And I just believe in sharing that journey. It is sort of a building a public kind of thing. But at the same expense, like I just want you to know I'm not I think we see a lot on social media, you see. Some people, you know, I'm not going to call anybody out those people who are like, we're not as transparent about what they're doing. And you know, this is not, this whole brand that I'm building is not at a level that I want it to be at. But like I'm going I just something finally clicked last year where I was like, no, like, that's it like I want to talk to other survivors, I want to help other survivors, because that's not going to change out. Like I said earlier, for the rest of my life, I'm always going to be a stroke survivor with MS that is never going to change. You know, my height is ever going to change all the time. Really, I think I can really help anybody on. Like, you know, we go through life, we change and evolve. But the one constant I know from here on out is that I am a stroke survivor who is living with MS. Whatever I could do to share what I've learned along the way and help others is great. It's not again, not that I want to sound so fucking weird when I say it. Like I don't want to be known as the best stroke survivor. I just, I just know that I know, it's hard. When I know that I wish I had more help at the beginning. And I was thinking about it earlier. And I'm losing my train of thought as I do often on this show. But I was just thinking about some things on the run. And there is no playbook, there are some good books that I have found in the last year or two. I've met more survivors is still kind of rare, because I think a lot of survivors you know, they tend to be probably reserved, they probably feel like I have felt and often still feel like I don't feel impostor syndrome, but I definitely feel a lack of confidence sometimes. And I think whatever I can do to help others. You know, I was thinking about topics for this week, and I was thinking about Yeah, you got to put yourself first as a stroke survivor. That's number one is number one, necessarily, but it's definitely top five, top three. Don't put yourself first the rest just sort of doesn't matter. Because if you're not able to put yourself first at least for a while. Get your recovery on track and in a good spot. At least to a point where like you're pretty maintain you're able to maintain certain things of your life and you're able to handle certain things and you're able to you relearn and regain enough confidence and skills that you're feeling good about yourself and where you are heading. You don't have to be perfect. Nobody's ever gonna get back back to perfect event. I just put a clip yesterday and for previous episode about never getting to honor percent. I don't think that's the thing for me. Do I think I get better than 85? Probably but am I always going to think of 85 Probably. But I think getting to 100 is really ambitious. And I'm not saying you don't you don't aim for that. But I think at some point you kind of realize well, even if I never had a stroke and I was just a human being going through life, would I ever get to a place that's 100 person, would I ever feel like I'm satisfied with what I've achieved? Or what I always want to keep going? Keep pushing, keep learning, keep growing. I mean, again, it sounds cliche sometimes. And I don't mean that in a bad way, because if you don't that's different for everybody. I think sometimes we think there's a goal and we can obtain that goal. And then when we get there, we feel like we've achieved all we wanted to achieve, but then you'd be surprised you get your there. And I said, Well, I wouldn't mind a little this, I wouldn't mind a little that. I'll give you an example. I was watching a show about, you know, comedians, on YouTube. And one of the comedians was like, I have two goals, I want to do this. I don't want to do that. And the one he achieved and the second he's working towards, but then it's like, do you once you get to that second goal? Are you just gonna be like, what are you gonna do? Hang it up? Are you gonna be done? Or do you want to like sort of, like, achieve a different thing? And maybe it's lateral? It doesn't have to be like continuously going deeper or higher. But yeah, I think things just change and everybody's going to have different unique journey. Anyways, I got way off track, I apologize. Let me take a second to refocus is Yeah. And I guess one of the other things I think about with this show, and the direction we're heading is like, I don't have a lot of sponsors, I don't have a lot of advertising. I you know, I wouldn't mind some of that down the road. But I think really, the purpose of this channel, and these episodes is sort of pay it forward, because our people who have helped me along the way, who may never listen to this show, who may never watched his show or on YouTube, but maybe it will help them with, you know, I'm thinking specifically clinicians that I've worked with. Maybe Maybe this will help them, they'll be you know, I could be a resource for them to recommend to other younger survivors who might be similar to me to any survivor. I gonna sound like an ass but like a lot of old people kind of love me sometimes, because I'm just, I say it like it is I say, like, immediate. I don't hold back. That's kind of one of the unique personality terms of me. I mean, I call the shuttle global survivor. Because I'm kind of this big, lovable guy. And I don't take a lot of shit. And I say what I mean, and I say the things that I think other people are thinking but aren't willing necessarily to say. But that comes with the price. I say a lot of things that I probably shouldn't say I say a lot of things that I often regret. But I think sometimes they need to be said, which is probably honestly why I really got into improv and comedy back when I was 20. You know, that's one of the perks of being a six foot eight during 25 Bam, guys, I like I feel safe, being able to do that. And not everybody feels that. And so yeah, I mean, we're off track here. But I think there's all this kind of comprehensive take on, you know, putting yourself first, especially after stroke, a major life event, brain injury, you need the time to recover. Don't feel guilty about anything when it comes to recovery. Again, whether you're a parent or not, you're a human being, you deserve every opportunity to live a wonderful and fulfilling life and you have to put yourself first when it comes to recovery. You don't have to do it for the next 10 years of your life. But you you will need to do it. You may need to do it longer upfront later, less. So on the back end, you may need to do an immerse everybody's going to be different. Again, I will link that article that I was talking about what I think we go through so much as stroke survivors from language difficulties. Just energy levels. You know, sleep like I said it is a big thing and being able to take some people can take naps, some people just need to sleep nine or 10 hours. It's a little different forever, but I think as long as you again I struggled with this in the beginning probably sell Do you struggle with this somewhat, I think it's like the, you need to put the blinders on in a way. It really, when I say put yourself first I mean, don't think of it as narcissistic or, you know, you're you, you're thinking about it's a really difficult thing for people that are kind for people that have struggled like with people pleasing birth, or survivors who, you know, maybe like myself, always was able to do a lot of things and do them quickly and do them reasonably well. And multitask. That's another big thing, like, you know, I think when it comes to putting yourself first and you're like trying to get back on to the right track, or get back to a place where you were also also realizing that it does take time, you're going to have to start slow and slowly over time, add things back into your life is a big one for me, because I wanted to fix everything immediately, I wanted to do everything as fast as I could, and that just your body is not ready. So self care and putting yourself first is going to evolve, it's going to change, it is probably you know, I don't think anything ever changes for if you're doing this kind of work on yourself, eight things will change for the better. Even if you don't see immediate results. Even if it's you are struggling, you know, I think keeping family members in a loop communicating as best you can. However, you're able to whether it's pen and paper, hopefully you're able to speak and communicate and talk through these things. But if you're not take the extra couple seconds to do a pen and paper, whether it's a phone, however, you can communicate these things. Please let it be known. And if you're somebody who's a family member or a friend stroked, a caregiver or a family member, if you're a survivor in your life has trouble communicating, just know that these things are going on, when they may not be able to communicate it, but just be cognizant and aware. I mean, that's, that's, that's another good point. So just Yeah. For everybody involved, again, whether you're the actual survivor, you're the caregiver, or a family member of yours is a distant friend from afar. I really encourage you to, to be kind, to make yourself aware of some of these things, to be understanding of that particular survivors circumstances and what they may be going through, I think it's generally a good practice and life period. Forget whether the people in your life are soaked Sivers or not. It is a really great way to think about things. You know, the last tip on this specifically, I think, for you, as a survivor yourself, mindfulness, I know can be a difficult process to get into. It can be tricky, I have had trouble meditating my whole life. As I've gone through stroke recovery, I don't know if it was because of the timing in 2020. But when the world slowed down, I found time to slow down myself. And the best tip I ever got from the calm app from Tamara love it on the comm app. And there are other great apps that you can do and check out and I encourage you to check out what l but the best thing somebody ever said to me when it came to the practice of meditation and figuring out mindfulness and slowing my body and my brain down was like just sit down and close your eyes for 10 minutes. By but your mind brain let it wander let it go all over the place do that but just keep showing up consistently practice every day every other day just whatever that consistency means for you whatever you feel comfortable doing. I know it's gonna feel silly but just sit in a chair in a dark room. Close your eyes 10 minutes try it for like two weeks every other day for two weeks. Let your mind race let it go all over the place don't don't worry about not thinking just be still have millions of thoughts. You're not going to write the boundary again Can I do a thing with them? And that for me was a big game changer. Then slowly over time, I started adding in some light breathing exercises and that got me on the path to figure out breathing and this is a whole thing it went from mindfulness and meditation with a calmer but I saw use the calm app, but not as much. And then that led to breathing which led to a little bit more ice Sighs I did a little bit more exercise and it just evolved into a whole thing. Like, from the start of sleep, you know. I've gotten better control of things. And the mindfulness practice has really helped. And I gotta be honest, it sounds so corny. It sounds unbelievable. If you knew we prior to my show, you'd be like, there's no way this guy meditates. I can. And I do. Not every day now, but I try most days to at least take 10 minutes. Sometimes beginning, sometimes the middle sometimes ended day, to just sort of appreciate things. And I just I do a lot of mindful breathing now, because nasal breathing has changed my life as well. And so I kind of combined some of these things, but just know. That was the best iteration I ever got running away. It was like, It's okay, you want to start to get into mindfulness, you want to start the practice of the habit, because you see other people doing it, having success joining it, and wondering why your mind can slow down and shut down. And I'm telling you just sitting in the dark, it doesn't have to be pitch black, just like dark ish, you know, lights off 10 minutes and cheer. And think about it, what's the worst that happens? You sit down for 10 minutes and just relax. And even if your mind is racing, you're still kind of relaxing. And I think if you try it for like two weeks, we'll see. Anyways, just my best suggestion for somebody who could never do it for the first 37 years of his life. I think I actually almost didn't really get into it those 38. So yeah, that's a good one. And again, last thing I'll say acceptance and patience. owed. Another last thing from Flint was the font bog that I'll link in the show notes. love me for who I am, loved me for who I was, and love me for who I am becoming because that may be a very different person who you were before your show. It might be a different person who during the beginning of recovery, and it may be a very different person later. Generally speaking, I think, you know, I'm looking at my own evolution, and hopefully yours is the same too. But I think I'm better I think I saw work to do. That's okay. But by putting myself first I'm getting better at being better for everybody around me. So yeah, Before we officially sign off for this episode, couple of fun random things from this week. podcast was bad friends, as usual. Been watching a bunch of the Avant can't really think of any particular episodes that stood out to me this week. I don't know why I'm in a real podcasts video format, I think because I could put them on and do other things. Now that I'm getting into it, I you know, I want to learn and watch and see what other people doing. Other people are doing things differently than me because it's not a one person show. But yeah. It's good. I enjoy watching some of them in the background listening to them. actually really liked the US because he's got a much longer show. It's about a three hour show, give or take most episodes, to bears mancave always loved Tom Segura and Bert. Lots a couple of older ones where they had some guest hosts because I think when Tom moved to Austin, they don't do all the episodes together. So like one with Tom and David Spade as the guest host with Tom and Chris Stefano is another good one. Anyways, oh, I know the big news of the week, hobbies which we talked about on episode 25 I can't remember exactly but I suppose I've been back into woodworking I have now released the first two episodes of the elusive euphoria radio show which is the lovable Gazelle DJ radio show so I am changing that brand I am it's still up right now but I am in the process of closing down the lovable Gazelle store because it is still going to be a thing but the brand is rebranding a done kind of changing things up there. So lovable Gizelle I waited a year and a half for the trademark finally got the word just served trademark. Done a done and I really love fashion. That's always been a thing. I still want it to be an active part of that brand, but I don't want to be the main I don't want the main focus to be the clothing brand. And so kind of changing that a little bit, which should be a lot of fun here in the coming months, it is kind of, I'm going to close it down, I'm going to revamp things with level Gizelle, where it's more of a lifestyle brand, it is going to be sort of DJ focused, and then merch will be a part of it. And I think that's what I learned on that, in particular is that it is very hard to start a clothing brand, it is even harder to start a print on demand clothing brand. I think I can make some cool stuff. But I think I need to build a brand around it and not just build a clothing brand. And so kind of revamping that whole thing. Which is again, a little bit of a building and public kind of thing where I I wouldn't say it was a loss. But I would say I didn't do a great job of it. Because I thought the whole time that the I don't know what I thought I didn't have a great plan for it. But it's now clear, I'm glad I did it because I learned a lot. I think it does not need to be a Shopify store, it can be a more integrated piece of a brand. And that brand I think is going to you know, we're gonna see where the DJing thing goes. But like I love the name level Gizelle is obviously a registered trademark. Love it as a DJ brand name, but we'll see if that stays. Part. I mean, that's that's kind of the direction. Yeah, bringing back the podcast. So that is kind of thing, and I will get into it on a different show. But yeah, there is. A lot of things going on a lot of things in the work. It's one of the things for this show. Just to kind of, before we wrap up, I'm just gonna tease next week's episode, I think we're going to do an episode on musical music, music therapy. And it's really interesting, because I never really got into it in my stroke recovery. And I I'll just be honest, I think I love Brooks Brooks is one of the best places in Florida. To go for rehab, I would recommend it to anybody, it's probably one of the best in the country. But there are a few different inpatient rehabs throughout the country. I just think Brooks is one of the probably top five for sure. And is number one in my heart. I love Brooks, they will always be a big part of my life, even if they want to be part of their life or not. Yeah. But yeah, I think when I was there, I brush off music and musical therapy in general, because I just did. I'll be honest, I would see somebody who was a little kooky. Walking around with like, as I love own and like all these different musical instruments. So I brushed it off, kind of like all the things that I do in life. Oh my God, that's stupid. Anyways, I was just doing some research this week. And I was like, You know what? Music therapy is not as dumb as I think I thought it was and I don't want to get too far into it. But I am thinking of I don't have a ton of background. And historically, I personally have not done a ton of musical therapy but I'm very interested in it because because of DJing now because it music has been a part of my life. And I think I always just this has been a part of my life in a different way. I've never been like super gung ho into music, like I did have that phase High School where I was way into 90s Hip Hop and r&b. Had the sound system in my car. I'm now 40 You know, I went to Miami. I gotta DVM, I gotta dance music. I got it, the club scene. All these things, and I really like musics always been a big part of my life. I just never really had like, I'd never realized how much it was a part of my life. Anyways, that's next week's episode. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. We are all set all wrapped up for episode 29 of the podcasts. Thanks for listening. Hope you enjoyed it please, if you liked this episode, or or, or watch it on YouTube, let us know like the channel subscribe if again. If you leave us a review, let me know. Happy to have a free phone call courtesy if you leave a review on either iTunes, YouTube, Apple podcasts wherever you're listening, wherever you're watching. Like and subscribe as well. Bye for now.