24. Stroke and Anxiety: Learning to Navigate Social Anxiety after Experiencing a Stroke

Hi my name is Will Schmierer Welcome back to another episode of Google search our webcast. Today is July 27 2023. Not sure why I set the date. But there you go. That's the date. It is the end of July almost the start of summer I am pumped, because that means the kids are going back. Or sorry, it is the end of summer here in Florida. And the kids are going back to school very shortly and I could not be more excited. It's been a great summer, just had a little trip down south Florida with the family. It was great. But I cannot wait for them to be out of the house. I love them. They're great. They're amazing. But that easy to break. And Mama probably does. So anyways, before we ever did this week's episode 24 of the podcasts, we are going to just circle back on a couple of things from last week. So I haven't recorded or I haven't uploaded the video for the podcast last week. But I am in the process of uploading all of the first 22 episodes of the podcast audio to my YouTube channel. It is youtube.com/lovable survivor. That is going to be the channel for this particular show. So all previous upload episodes will be uploaded. Hopefully, by next week, I will probably upload the video from last week's podcast just so there is an actual video on the page. I'll do that this week, while I upload and edit. sort of not really not really doing a ton of editing. But getting this video that we're recording right now in order for early next week release on YouTube. Just get really caught up so that we're on a regular cadence. Anyways. Yeah, so that was exciting. The audio sounded pretty good last week. Not amazing little hot on the microphone, if I'm being honest, but you know, things are things are cooking, things are working. So I'm pretty pleased with the overall first recording. So again, welcome to episode 24, the podcast and this week, we're going to be talking to you about anxiety and dealing with you know, that may be well dealing with anxiety and kind of, you know, some some tips for coping with anxiety because if you're anything like me, I didn't really have a ton of anxiety in my life, besides the fact that I'm a father of three. You know, it wasn't really until my stroke hit that everything sort of bold bubbled to the to the forefront. You noticed a lot of things I buried deep down and everything kind of came to the surface when I had my stroke. So I've never been officially diagnosed with anxiety. I will say it even though I wish I wouldn't have to but of course you need to talk to your own medical team, medical professionals, I've just kind of sharing my experience and how I handle things. You know, results may vary. I'm definitely not a doctor, don't even consider me a doctor. I'm just kind of bringing this up as topic. You know, like a lot of things, just building that awareness that that kind of pointing out things that I didn't think about early on that really sometimes didn't surface until year two, two or three have yet to surface. Although I feel like everything has started to slow down in terms of things coming up, but there's always something new. So again, it's an anxiety comes into all shapes, sizes, forms, it does not discriminate, it is very similar, I find to imposter syndrome. You could be doing something for 20 3040 years. And even though you think you're a pro, you're not or are you You think you're a pro and then all of a sudden you find yourself getting nervous or awkward or just just that little angel and demon on your shoulders. Something just kind of pops up it creeps out of nowhere. And anxiety is very similar. There are lots of forms of anxiety. You know, for me, I'll touch on the ones that I'm most familiar with, and the ones that have kind of crept into my life since my stroke. Definitely, I think I've talked about on this podcast, but social anxiety, I never really had that. Growing up, maybe a little bit when I was younger and very insecure. But by high school, I just became kind of the big guy. So that was never really something I dealt with a whole ton. You know, I just, I was always kind of funny, but also smart. So like, my friends love me because they, I can help them in school, but I would make them laugh. And it was I'm not saying it's easy by any means. But I sort of found a way to get around a lot of social anxiety. You know, I was a big drinker. I suspected that before on this podcast says last week. drinking and smoking are not the best habits, but they help me bond with people. Yeah, I also enjoyed them. I'm not gonna sit here and lie, you know, do something for a long time. But looking back, I think, probably, you know, things like I got into smoking cigarettes, I think that was a way of me kind of coping with anxiety. And I think drinking probably as well. And so again, it takes all forms, shapes and sizes. And particularly after stroke. I'm trying to think what else you know, I, I've said this before, too, but it's you know, social situations that I don't necessarily want to be in, it's very hard to know if it's social anxiety, or if it's just me being me. I am an introvert. I have extrovert tendencies. But I'm definitely writing that middle and leaning towards introverted. I don't really love being in large groups, that's for sure. And I think we talked about this last week to on the podcast. Traveling can produce a lot of anxiety can produce a lot of overwhelm, I think anxiety and overwhelm kind of go hand in hand. And you know, that line is a little blurry. If I'm being honest, sometimes I think, I think we can all probably agree on that. And, you know, there are, again, there's many forms, there's, there's social anxiety, the fear of interaction, now these fears can be fueled. It can be with, it could be in our own head. And it's not like make believe it's really something we're dealing with. And I think, you know, very similar to this social anxiety is that we, as stroke survivors, we, most of us probably remember how things were, before we had a stroke. You know, I remember everything. I remember how I walked how I talked, how everything felt effortless, you know, even even towards the end, when I was very big, and really, you know, I was aware that something was wrong. Like I was not in good shape. I was really just sort of, there were a lot of signs that now in hindsight, all obviously, point towards potentially having a stroke. But at the time, I was unaware of these things. You know, but back to the insecurity thing. I think a lot of stroke survivors feel insecure, because we remember how things were. We probably liked how things were, I know, for me, I was able to go a million miles an hour, I was able to do everything myself, I never had to ask for help. And that's, you know, that those are things we all struggle with, even as I'm talking on this podcast, like I'm remembering to slow down, to breathe, to relax, to do all the things that were very natural, very easy, very effortless. And over time, hopefully, with practice with time, I know time every everybody says Time heals all wounds. Yes, but also know also how much time Yeah, so these insecurities and changes in our physical abilities and our physical appearance, you know, for me a little bit of speech. You may there are people that you know, have their split speech completely shattered. There are people who have physical abilities completely shattered. I mean that think about that first year for me in a wheelchair for most of that time. Even now, you know, I just worked out I ran about a half marathon today, which as as usual you could see My head is completely soaked. It was a different color to start today. But I'm thinking about it, and I was walking through the grocery store before I came home to record. And I'm walking, and I'm just, it's just not the same. So these these, you know, you can call the fears, you could call that anxiety, it's so many shapes, sizes and forms. But it's this, these don't want to say you just had to get over it, because that's not fair. That's kind of unreasonable. But it is sort of a process to get there. And to realize, you know, I wrote a tweet earlier today, and I'm thinking, I feel like, from probably that first year on, like, at the end of 2020, I felt like I was at, like, 85% recovery. But I feel like, it's been that way for this whole time now. And so, you know, I tweeted it out. And it's this kind of ties to the anxiety and, and sort of how I cope with things like even at 85, for 85% 85 90% of fully recovered, you know, fully recovered, who knows, but I feel like, I, I'm okay with that. And I'm still betting on myself every single time. Like, I'll take me at 85 90% or even 80% Shit, I'll take myself at 75% and I'm taking myself over most people in a lot of scenarios. So, you know, I'm okay with that, you know, you may not be there yet, you navigating post stroke, anxiety and understanding and overcoming is it's a process. And you know, you hear people say that a lot. And I feel like when I hear people say that, I kind of brushed it off, because I hear often I hear from therapists, whether it's occupational therapists, speech therapists, physical therapists, or doctors, I rarely hear it from other survivors. And what I do, that's when it sinks in. For me, it's like, okay, that's another person who knows what I'm going through. It may not be exactly what I'm going through, but they know how hard it is to deal with all the things and the anxieties. You know, whether that's a gamble, we'll dive more into the different types of anxiety, but like, I get that they get it. And that makes me you know, part of the reason that I want to do this podcast and start doing these videos and putting the episode videos online is people could see another show survivor. Notice here, another stroke survivor. I don't think anybody thinks that I'm not, you know, but like, if you were just browsing the podcasts, you may not realize, you know, and you look at me, and I get this a lot. This gives me a shit ton of anxiety. People, they say, Oh, well, you don't look like you've had a stroke, you know, and I do appreciate that, because I understand where they're coming from. And that's great. That means I'm doing a lot of work. And the work that I have done already, is starting to take shape. It's not perfection, I don't even want perfection, I just kind of want to feel the way you soup before my stroke. And I don't know, that's a wild pipe dream sometimes. And it may never be that way. But it does mean to me that I'm getting closer. But it also drives me crazy, because people don't understand how much work we as stroke survivors had due to even just due to appear. As though we are the same. And, you know, that gets anxiety sometimes because it's discharged too crazy. You know? And have enough and it means segue into it. But yeah, driving anxiety, I had a lot of anxiety about driving, I still have some anxiety when I'm driving. I'm fully licensed. I feel good, I feel safe. I feel secure when I'm driving. But it is still not the same as it was before. And I think a lot of my anxiety is heavily tied to remembering how I felt before the stroke. I think a lot of us might feel that way. I can't speak for everybody. But I it's it's a tendency I see when I speak to people when I go to therapy, and I see other survivors and I meet other survivors. You know, it's just it's just so complicated, so complex. You know, there's financial anxiety. I mean, I I was fortunate. When everything happened, things just things for me were different, but not everybody's so lucky and not everybody has access to good health care. And you know, some people maybe all they have is they've had a brief stint in inpatient rehab and then They were told they had to leave, because because their insurance would cover it anymore, or, you know, and who knows how good they were, I mean, they were hopefully safe. But you know, they don't usually send you home, if you're not pleased, you're relatively safe. But like, you know, it's just a lot of work. And then people are, again, another one of the many reasons for doing this is that there are some resources or some other great channels, or some that I've talked about at nauseam, there's some other great books written by survivors. But the reality is, there aren't tons and tons of resources, because honestly, you know, I think as stroke survivors, there are different pockets and different segments of healthcare, different survivors trying to do things and help a wider community, but like, everything is kind of siloed, myself included, I mean, I have to reach out and try to talk to more people to bridge those connections. You know, because even though somebody might be doing something great, they're only able to help so many people. And I think by by putting these things on YouTube, hopefully, that will, you know, just having more resources available, it seems so silly, that there's so many people that have so many great things to say and share, whether it's information or exercises or something in between, or accommodation, you know, all the resources that we can get people, because not everybody has the financial means, but they probably have internet or some low, low internet access, and they're able to at least get on YouTube. And you know, nothing is perfect on YouTube. But it starts conversation, it brings up awareness for people, you know, cuz think about how often are people not even aware of certain things, you know, I always go back to like, last year at age 39, when I really learned how to breathe properly through my nose, which is something I had not learned for the first 39 years of my life. You know, I've had a relatively, you know, I've not had the toughest upbringing, I'm now 40 years old, I've had access to a lot of things, you know, middle class, upper middle class times, but still, like, still, there were things that like, blows my mind, but I find out something that I'm just not aware of it, you know. So just think about that. But again, there's so many, so many different types of anxiety. And I think, you know, the last main one we'll talk I'll touch on right now is the recovery anxiety, like, you know, thinking back to when I first had my stroke, I was very optimistic about how things would go. And over time, that sort of that reality set in that it was going to take longer, and it was going to be longer, and then you know, you start doing the work. But the results can be slow at times. And it didn't matter that I was 37, when I had my stroke. I mean, there are people that are younger, there'll be letter older, and honestly, there are people that are older, who were in pretty good shape for older people, and they were pushing 70. And they were up and walking around weeks after their stroke, you know, and they had their stroke around the same time as me. I remember one guy, you know, I won't mention his name. But there was a guy that I went to the he and I were at the same place for inpatient. And then we wound up being at the same place for outpatient, a little further down, but by house, really nice guy early 70s was a runner, you know, and he was up and running. I mean, he was running within three months. I haven't seen him in a while. But you know, I just remember being so frustrated, because people would tell me, Oh, you're young, you'll be you know, there are lots of truth. There's a lot of truth in the fact that I'm young, because I have some advantages. I have a little bit of drive, not even by choice. I just have children. You know, I'm a soy, a younger parent. I'm not retired. I basically, honestly, I don't want to salmon in the prime of my life. But I mean, you know, I just turned 40 last year. I'm definitely in in the middle, right. You know, and you think about returning to work, which I think we're going to do another episode on in a couple of weeks. Because I want to kind of revisit what I did early on in the year because there's been some questions about returning to work as I'm getting off track, but you know, recovery anxiety and you start it starts to sink in after a little while to realize, okay, this is gonna be longer. This is gonna be more difficult. You know, I think back to that first month of January of two Only 20 When I got released from inpatients first time, before I went back to the hospital with that MS diagnosis, but like I was not in good shape when they released me. You know, and honestly, it sounds weird to say, but a blessing of, you know, I'm glad it was the second stroke, I'm glad I wound up being Ms. I think, you know, who knows how I would have felt the vote was the second stroke. But either way, I kind of feel very lucky to have gone back to inpatient rehab a second time, right before COVID. Because I feel like I really need more inpatient work. And, you know, that was very apparent when I got there the second time, and I think that really helps, sort of gave me an extra 30 days of inpatient work, where I was able to just do the work. And really, I don't wanna say, Forget about everything, but it gave me it, just let me focus on the work. And it gave me more time to push, push, push, in terms of starting to open up my hands starting to fix my speech, you know, cuz outpatient is great, but it is slower and less intense. And there are things you can do at home. And that's fine. And it's good. And there's nothing wrong with it. But it's definitely slower than inpatient. So invasion is very much, it's much more intensive work. And for me, being younger, you know, at the time, I was 37. That did help with some like anxiety, because I felt like that second time in rehab was given me more of an opportunity to get a little further ahead than where I was when I left in January 2020. You know, but either way, it's challenging a lot of work. I don't think that anxiety really can go away, and it can get, you know, you start to learn tricks and tips and techniques to deal with it. And I think, kind of none of it has been crystal clear for me because I was working with an actual mental health professional when I was at inpatient rehab, but then obviously, when I came out, COVID happened, everything got weird. So I wasn't able to work with that individual. She wasn't set up to work online, early on. And so I kind of I tried a couple things. I tried working with people, but it just, I, you know, to be fair, what I really needed at that time was somebody who was a mental health professional who had worked with stroke survivors previously. So long story short, I didn't work with anybody for a little while. But I started, you know, I was reading a ton I was at work. I did go to outpatient therapy was like one of the very few things open to do physical therapy and occupational therapy and kind of just talking and meeting with other people. I was kind of able to get resources books and look into things I spent, I think a lot of us during COVID, but especially having my stroke right before COVID on lockdown, actually, again, another blessing. weird to say but the timing of COVID really helped my recovery because because because the world slowed down for a couple months, even in Florida, I was able to slow down enough to take the time to look into things and one of the other things that I've done since my stroke is kept an open mind about everything. Whether it was anxiety, neurological difference, you know, neuro diversity is a hot topic right now. Being that I survived a brain injury, which is you know, stroke is brain injury, and then having Ms. It's all brain related stuff. Really keeping it open up open mind talking to doctors talking to you to all doctors, cardiologist, which primarily deals with heart. But yeah, he's seen enough stroke survivors and people with MS. Or people, you know, I thankfully didn't have a heart attack, but it's kind of all intertwined. And so just all these things and and COVID was isolating as a stroke survivor. For all you know, I really didn't go beyond my family for a long time. for lots of reasons, you know, So I just I really dug into books, I started doing research, I was in a way that I've never done it before. And some of the some of the reasons I did it are because again, I do have children, I wanted to figure it out, I saw that the pandemic was allowing time to, like, really dig into things in a way, had it not been a pandemic. That was 20, you know, most of 2020 and part of most wanted 21 Maybe I wouldn't know. So, you know, a lot of a lot of reading books, you know, people say, people say X, Y, and Z about books and hearing other people's stories. And, of course, what works for me doesn't work, necessarily for you. But just like you, you've got to keep reading to find these things. And like, oh, okay, this person tried this. Maybe it doesn't apply to your situation, but it gets you thinking it gets you your mind. Active, you know, which is a big thing with a brain injury, you want to keep an active mind is actually having a stroke is not much different than retirement, you think about people that retire and people that often you hear stories of people that retire, but they don't really retire. And I feel like that is kind of the same thing with brain injury, it's like, you have a stroke, you do want to keep your mind active and working. Because, you know, if you're not, it's, I don't want to say it's the user to lose the thing, but it kind of is a use it or lose the thing. And if you don't keep putting in the work, and you lose hope, you know, things could take a turn, I don't know that for sure. Because I gotta say I put it I keep putting in so much work that probably overdoing it, honestly. You know, but again, going back to anxiety, there's so many so many different types. There's other things like you might have anxiety about you, your relationship with your spouse, with your partner, with your family, you know, these things all change. relationships change. You know, I think we've all learned that through the pandemic, but also, just as you get older, you kind of realize mouth these, these these relationships that were important, or maybe they're still important. Normally, they changed and that's okay. But also you can feel, you know, I know, I always I always kind of think it's me being an introvert, but also it is kind of isolating. And people, you know, I tried to be funny, I tried to make jokes. But a lot of people don't really understand how isolating it can be, and I'm not even sure I would be this aware of it if my wife wasn't death, because I see how isolating her world is. And how people misunderstand her. misinterpret, and just kind of brush things off. And honestly, it happens a lot to me too. You know, but I'm, I'm more I don't know that I deal with it better, but I feel like I deal with it better. I'm not looking for people's approval. Not that my wife is but like, she's different than I am I you know, people kind of like me, but I also kinda don't care. You know, my wife is very different in that regard. So. And honestly, most people are probably like that, like, I just, I think it's just the thing that you develop when you're six foot eight 325 pounds is that you just feeling isolated, or abandoned or anything. They're all valid feelings. They're just like, they're not things that I really care about. In fact, I was just talking about it with somebody. Oh, I know, I was joking at the grocery store with a woman who works at the checkout, who I love who I see there all the time. Again, I'm not gonna drop her name, but she's she's somebody I know from the nearby Publix who I see all the time. Like we do. I've seen her at other things outside of public so we know each other. I would not say we're best friend. She knows enough about my life. And I know enough about her life to say we know each other pretty well. But forgive her what has gone with that. But there was a point to that. Sorry. But I've completely forgotten what that was. You know, and again, going back to the family dynamics of actually stroke and anxiety. You know, there are other concerns that people might have, like, you know, I always feel this I don't want to be a burden to people in my life. This is a big one for me. I feel I asked for a lot of help now. And I hate it. But I know I have to do it. But I also hate it. Because it let's be honest, you know, my wife is amazing. My kids are amazing. Everybody's getting a little tired of debt. So here's my problem. You might experience this as well. I was so used to doing everything. Going 100 miles an hour that when you have to when you can't do everything, you have to start asking for help you have, I had to realize, I can't ask people for help at the speed with which I was doing things in my life. I'd be going 200 miles an hour, my wife is amazing. But she can only handle like one or two tests a day, I want to do 50,000 things and now I need help with 25,000 of the 50,000 things I want to do in a day. So I do I have a lot of anxiety with things like that. I know that sounds silly but these you know, it's part of the process. I've really some of the strategy strategies I have and again, I'm not a doctor, I have no idea what your experiences are or your limitations but like I just tried to push myself a little further each day in a in a super safe way. Like I don't want to harp on this but like I won't do it by can't do it safely. I'll give you a good example. The you know, I'll talk about this anxiety. When I was developer prior to my stroke, I worked under fear eight hours a day. When I worked out I worked out after hours you know, but it was pretty clear up until my stroke. I worked behind a computer all day writing code the teams and then my hobby. My main hobby outside of work was woodworking. I loved woodworking I bought this house because of the garage because I planned on becoming a YouTube woodworker. I mean, I loved it. There's so many great channels it's something I plan to get back to one day I still haven't really got back into it the way I was into it one because I'm not fully fully capable of being honest, like Dr. Dark, you know, I could definitely do beginner woodworkers stuff. The problem is, I was at a level I was a professional woodworker but I was definitely high mid level woodworking. Like I had pretty I bought the first tool. In some cases, I bought a second vert like the next level up here we will tear I planned on really opening the entire garage shop to be a basically a YouTube woodworking studio. And so I Mike in that mid to high level kind of upgrade of tools. But I was doing pretty complex projects. And one of the things I've struggled with is getting back into it is going back to the basics. Which this again is a little off topic from anxiety, but it is a very important thing for stroke survivors to to know and to remember and, and it's a struggle, honestly. And I guess I do have anxiety about this because it's like I don't want to go back to the beginning. But I have to go back to the beginning with a lot of things whether that's typing, handwriting, woodworking, you know not not everything, like you know, my speech is pretty good. But I did have to go pretty far back to the reading like four letter words, five letter words, six letter words and just kind of increasing that difficulty. And sometimes you have to go back to the beginning and you can rapidly gain traction to the middle, but in some instances where like woodworking involves a lot of coordination so like hand eye coordination, writing, you know, things that I took all for granted. But yeah, my point is the only reason I haven't gotten back into woodworking again is still because I feel like I can't do it safely. 100% The way I really enjoy doing woodworking, but that is a long term goal. I am not a robot slash Woodworking is for me, it's a hobby that you could be 10 years old, or you could be 95 years old. And really, as long as you're able to see and do things safely. It's one of those hobbies that you really could get spans the entire age range, basically. But I do I think that's the thing. Yeah. Like, I don't know what you call it necessarily, but it is a form of anxiety is like, well, you know, what am I doing? You thinking about giving? If you are somebody who's getting back to work, get back to work? And what are the things you'd like, like loved to do prior your stroke that were hobbies? Can you do those? Do you have to work? I mean, it sounds so strange to work, work on getting back into a hobby, but if you really loved it, you know, like woodworking I really loved it. And i i I still I you know, yeah, I'm not doing complex cuts, but I am starting to slowly do little projects around the house. And I might be because I'm older now. And a lot of my woodworking started out of necessity. When we bought our first house, I built everything. And it was fun. And it's still fun. But I'm not. I'm definitely not doing complex projects yet. But I'm getting there. And that is for me a long term hobby and goal. But you know, that's, that's sort of my coping. You know, I don't want to get into coping strategies too much. But I think it's gonna be different for everybody. You know, but coping. I think one of the, you know, a lot of us as stroke survivors, I think part of the the way we cope with things is that you do sort of over time, once it once you realize that certain things are just going to be they may be off the table forever. So it's coming to terms with that. It's also you know, then you realize, okay, this is something I would love to get back into, but there's not an immediate need. So it does go to the backburner, like woodworking like I don't have an absolute necessity to do something. And if I did, I could probably walk my wife through it. And assuming it benefited her in some way, she would help me do it. But yeah, like always, stroke is not a linear, nonlinear path. I know that sounds so corny. But it's hard, you know, and it's, again, it takes so many different shapes and sizes, and it does pop out of nowhere. Honestly, like, there are things that always surprised me like, I feel like I've got a pretty good grasp on a lot of things. And then all of a sudden, I'll get caught off guard. Like I said, with impostor syndrome, but we things it to definitely catches me off guard. I am aware of a lot of it. But yes, it's Yeah, I know what I have an issue with it. And I'll just I'll kind of leave this there. You know, one of the things I was I think I did talk about this last week, but I love making people laugh. I love people. I love making people spit out their food when they're eating or a drink. And I have a lot of anxiety about general like, I feel lucky, really to be to be a younger stroke survivor, and have a lot of my faculties. Still, you know, my mind is pretty sharp, but I'm not as quick as I used to be. And that really bugs me and I have a lot of you know, generalized anxiety, and I'll be honest, too, I should have said this from the early start. So when I had my stroke, obviously, I was 37 years old. They put me on an antidepressant. And I'm still on it. And I know a lot of people talk about these things these days. But you know, I never it's literally it's not a high dosage. It's just a little bit but it doesn't matter because I've actually tried to up it I've tried to lower we we've kind of played around with it a lot, but I had no problem with it. I have no problem talking about it. But I think it's really critical. Because I wouldn't I wouldn't want to know myself since I wasn't on it. You know, I was never diagnosed with any anxiety. I think they put it on I put me on it. And I agreed with them at the time. And I still do, because I'm younger. Because, you know, I think anybody is liable to go through something difficult, like a stroke or brain injury, you're definitely susceptible to all sorts of emotions and feelings that can be all over the place. And in fact, they were probably all over the place, and they probably still are, in some some cases for me. I just feel like over time, things have helped. But yeah, I think when it comes to any kind of anxiety, whether it's social anxiety, driving anxiety, financial anxiety, anxiety, recovery, anxiety, just general anxiety across the board, for any survivor of a stroke, or brain injury, I will tell you, my best piece of advice 1,000%, without a doubt, is keeping an open mind. Because everything I thought I knew growing up as a kid from the northeast, especially in the New York, New Jersey, you know, tri state area. Growing up there, we can have a tendency to think we know it all. And I think a lot of people at any age across the country now tend to think they know it all. But realizing you may not know it all, especially when it comes to stroke, because nobody's really preparing to have a stroke. So I think being 100% Honest, just keeping an open mind has really helped in the mental health and anxiety space, for sure. And I think across the board, if I'm being honest, but like, I was never into meditation, I could never meditate prior to my stroke, had my stroke, all of a sudden, I figure it out. But I think a lot of things that helped was I kept an open mind. Because I think I heard things I had never heard before. I'll give you a good example. That was the end of the show. But with me, for me, my mind was always racing, I never was able to slow it down, because my mind would always be racing. Now it still does it. And I still do it all the time. I want to go a million miles an hour. If you haven't noticed, that's pretty clear on this episode. But because I just knew I didn't have the answers for this. And I was nobody told me this, I just kind of realized this, like, oh, I want to listen to doctors. But even I knew I knew doctors and nurses, they had seen 1000s of patients who've had a stroke, but they haven't had the stroke. They've seen patients, so they have a good idea of what to how to direct us. But they don't really know. So I just have always kind of kept an open mind. I've tried different things. I've tested different things. You know, I've talked about it earlier episodes have tried, you know, medical marijuana was on for me. There are other things I might try down the road. I've tried just so many things. And I think you know, getting into breathing has really helped. But I'll tell you, like I said keeping in mind. I never heard it prior. But I had my stroke and I openly call map. I know I have no idea why I never heard it on the comm app before my stroke. But when I after my stroke, early on, I heard just lay down. Alright, does this person specifically meditation that you can sit up you can lay down doesn't matter. I lay down because I was like I I'm gonna lay down. And she says, just let your mind race for 10 minutes. And I did go ahead and it raised it raised for 10 minutes. I was like is this meditation. come back the next day. Try it again. Same thing. But like the third day though, I served. I just kept sticking with the app. I kept doing 10 minutes. And I had no expectations. I just slipped my mind race but eventually it slowed down. And I think probably I don't want to say it was like 21 days to build that habit because it wasn't you know, probably somewhere in the first week as a car. I realized my mind was slowing down. Sorry. If you're watching this Bob gets to watch me. Oh, my nose running. Yeah, so like I just eventually my mind slowed down. I just kind of breathe slowly listened. Got into meditation. I've been doing it for probably three years now. I don't do it every day anymore. But I do it like probably five times a week for 10 minutes. Really easy. Do you think 10 minutes is a while and then you start to go through something like this in life, you're like, Yeah, I got 10 minutes to try to meditate. What's the worst that happens that 10 minutes I lay down, or sit down or sit up and I just try to turn everything off for 10 minutes? Yeah, that's not the worst 10 minutes. Not the worst way to spend 10 minutes. So while I was able to build up that habit, and I think that in turn led to breathing and I really, you know, I put an emphasis on focusing on my mental health. All my, you know, general health I've been working out and eating right. These are the things I wanted to change before my stroke. I didn't do it soon enough. Unfortunately, for me, I had the stroke, hopefully you don't. But if you or somebody you know, has, you know, maybe, maybe, you, you, you know, the great thing is, if you're a stroke survivor, you do have the opportunity to change, you know, change those, maybe bad habits, change habits, that you aren't able to change or just take advantage of things that you never thought you would be able to you know, and it's, again, it's different for everybody, but I think those things worked for me. I'm glad they have, you know, I have tons of their suggestions. Again, breathing is a really great one if if meditation doesn't work out, right, like an app, it just kind of forced me to. To get into it, it helps. You know, but try different things again, that my biggest recommendation is just be open to a variety of things. Learn about different things sick, curious, you know, you hear that a lot. I think St. Curious as a survivor is a really big thing. Anyways, I'll leave it there in terms of anxiety for this week. Let's see. Let's talk about a couple of fun random things. Good shows on Hulu this week. Ryan's back. I don't know if what is the name of that? I don't know it's like Rylan in the city. I would look it up but I don't feel like anyways, a couple cool shows on Hulu. I was watching. What's the one with Wrexham? Yeah, that's kind of a cool show. I don't know if they've done another season. But that's very cool. That's Ryan Reynolds soccer team that he and the other guy who I'm forgetting from Philly, they bought his team over in the UK. You know, a lower level team. Definitely interesting, cool show. I know I had been seeing it around a lot of Wrexham stuff but I didn't really know the story. Goes out check it out. See what else went to South Florida last week on a little tour of a university with my daughter. That was fun. Yeah. I haven't been to South Florida in a while. I forgot how much I love and hate South Florida. We were in the Broward County, which is always Broward is so different than than Miami Dade. Two different worlds. Very strange. We were in Delray, which is a nice little getaway. I love Delray because it's not Boca it's not. It's not West Palm. It's not Fort Lauderdale. Thank God it is not Miramar. It's not Miami. It's just this little slice of heaven in South Florida. But yeah, we ran into a bunch of people who were not the greatest. I just forgot what kind of swag Are you need down there in South Florida? Ray could still have it if I cared. I just Yeah. I don't know. It was a guy's trip. I had fun. I do not miss South Florida. I think I'm a North Florida boy from here on out. Yeah, it's just weird. never disappoints to be the most amazing people watching in the world. But yeah, I'm just I'm over overall Florida or South Florida. But I will I will plan a trip to Miami later this year that I am looking forward to because I have not been down there and a long time. I see that so true. I was there last year. I have not correction. I have not been to the part of Miami that I want to be in which is coconut grove downtown and Brickell. Yeah, so I have to plan that new heights podcast is great podcast Travis and Jason Kelsey, which is I knew but I yeah, I just they're hilarious are awesome. Great show per cast is usually was amazing. Two more recommendations. I have not finished tighten because it is an 850 page book but it is a really, really good and now I remember why Dax Shepard kept recommend To get over and over on armchair on his podcasts, it is a really good book. I just, you know, boy Rockefeller is a complex individual. I'm only like 10 chapters in it is God it is long soveral They were reading that for the rest of the year from being honest. But it is really good to hear. Yeah, to so many good things on how to take better notes. I can bring them up next week. And then the last thing I'll mention my favorite comedy. I love Bert. Bert is the man. I love Tom segura. But Jim Gaffigan is a is a one of a kind. He has released his Tensas special on Amazon Prime. A little bit different. Really good. I love Jim. I love it. Buy it, but I'll be honest, it is a little it was a different vibe. I really liked his last special comedy monster. This one is just as good as his dark, pale. I think it's weird. Maybe Maybe I just we're gonna watch it again. But maybe he does a lot of darker humor. And he's wearing a black suit the whole time. So it actually is funny because I'll also pay see and wear black a lot of the time. And I love making jokes about really dark topics. Which he does so yeah, it's I guess it's not the bright and cheery kind of playful gym that I'm used to. It's still good. It's great. I definitely highly recommend it is just it's just a little different. It's not bad. It's like I mean, it is good. Actually, it's yeah, it's just different. It's just that IRA, he's got some great bits and he and I apparently are eggs. We must have been lost. We're like long lost brothers. Yeah, he's got some great stuff on Starbucks. And I feel the same exact way and I've felt this way for a very long time. I'm just mad that he did a special with all these great jokes that now I will never be able to do but yeah, I feel like my inner voice. I feel like Jim Gaffigan is my inner voice sometimes actually. It can be that as honest. I love Bert. Yeah, Jim is like Jim is definitely like he's like the devil on my shoulder. When I hear myself getting annoyed at life, I hear Jim Gaffigan as the voice narrating things are annoying me and life bird is more of like, bird is more of like my other show that I used to do that I'm bringing back that I'm going to start working on this week. Bird is like that bird. Actually, I'm glad I have this podcast named before Bert. Bert, I love him. But he's kind of like that lovable idiot. And it's that is why I'm also the little boy. Yeah, they're very different, but they're also very similar in a lot of ways actually. That's great. That's that's yeah, I was watching an older episode of the Bearcats with Jim Gaskin watched a bunch Jim Gaffigan stuff this week including his specials so go check out dark pal out on Amazon Prime. It really good highly recommend it. I think that will just about do it for this navigating post stroke anxiety understanding and overcoming episode 24 of level sir broadcast. My name is Will Schmierer Thanks for joining in