22. Igniting Change: Rebuilding Your Life after Stroke with the Power of Asking 'Why' and 'Why Not'

A couple quick notes before it happens. Today's episode of podcasts, I want to let everybody know Global's dryer.com is available. You could sign up for the newsletter there. Or you can go to podcast dot global cerebro.com both places. Basically the same place. The podcast is the podcast specific website lovable Stryver has a little bit more info, more details of things to come. Again, you can sign up for the newsletter in both places, whichever is easier for you. What else this week I talked about the broadcast which is Bert kreischer is his podcast on YouTube and his podcast is great I really like the Dane Cook episode liver King breaded Novak just came out that's a great episode as well. Highly recommend those. Also entourage I don't know why I felt like I should go back in time. And and I guess because I watched sopranos and suits recently. Just felt like going back a little bit further in time. So entourage on HBO Max is pretty cool. But enjoying that reliving those days. Finally, hub dot Lovell survivor.com. Again, I'll put a show link in the show notes hub dot lovable survivor.com I am now open for basically there's three phone calls. There are free phone calls for survivors. I do a couple of those a month offering either a 55 minute call one time option or 245 Minute Calls. As a package deal. Hopefully you'll check those out anyways. Alright, let's hop into today's episode episode 22 of the levels of our podcast, and let's go My name is Will Schmierer Welcome back to another episode of The Lovable Survivor Podcastl. Not yet. Today is July 7 2023. And I'm back for episode 22. The power of of asking why or why not? Yeah, let's get into today's episode. But before we do, let's talk about a couple of fun things. It is Friday, July 7, it's a little bit later in the week than usual. I am recording the day I am going to release which is also very unusual for me. It's a summer let's be honest, it's harder to do things. And my boys I said are getting older. My daughter is at a town moving out of Clemson getting ready to go to her next school this fall. So we got a lot of things going on a very busy summer. Honestly, I want to be better about recording ahead of time I was but the summer has caught me off guard. I don't think I'm alone in that situation. I think all parents every year. Doesn't matter how long you've been doing this. Yeah, life gets off track things get confused thing. Yeah. Let's be honest, everybody in my house is getting older. And I'm realizing I should have bought a smaller house. So that I could justify having an office in the backyard or down the street in an actual office because I've been working from home for a really long time. But I gotta be honest, I wouldn't mind having my own space nearby. Just a little bit more money. It's not something I need, but I desperately want. Because this house, I don't think it matters if you have basin or not. But in Florida basements are not very common. So I just can't find a quiet space. And it's okay most of the time, but it's really annoying when I'm trying to do the podcasts or I'm really trying to think and it's the summertime it is super freakin annoying if I'm being honest. And to be honest, too, I like to start recording the podcast because I have some news I'll share later today. But I'd like to start filming the podcasts on top of just recording. That being said, let's hop in today's in today's episode. Really, you know, this seems obvious, but asking yourself why or why not. And I think that's super important when you're on the path to rebuilding, whether they're rebuilding after stroke or brain injury, finding new things, finding new hobbies, new ways to live life. I mean, there is a lot as we discuss on every episode. There's a lot of things to cover. When it comes to stroke, brain injury. Honestly any major medical life event it really is not easy. Not everybody understands it. Some people do because they've been through something similar. Some people think they understand um, you know, and people do want to be helpful and people are very helpful most of the time but sometimes you just really need to get to the root for yours. Self and ask yourself, Why am I doing this? Does it make no sense in a lot of ways financially? You know, is it fun for you? Is it Do you want to have fun is a part of your brand? Um you know, this is something you could do by yourself. There's lots of journaling exercises, you could just take notes and reassess. There are lots and lots of lots of ways to ask yourself why. But never underestimate the power of asking yourself, Why are my favorite really is why not? Like, what just because now I'm 40? I can't do certain things. Okay. That's fair. If I asked him why. And there is a real limitation. I'll give you an example, like 2020 right after my stroke. I couldn't run. So I mean, simply asking myself, why can't I run? Well, because I'm in a wheelchair. Okay. That is a reasonable and fair explanation. I'm not rationalizing, it's just, it is true. It doesn't mean it's true forever. It means it's true at that time. And again, these are things we've talked about asking yourself why or why not? And, you know, have working towards small goals. I think, for me, deep working, starting small and building up works better, some people work better with a long term vision. And, you know, whatever that progress towards that looks like for you. But yeah, I mean, I just I've been thinking about it a lot. Because I've done a lot of thinking over the July 4 kind of weekend, it was I don't know, maybe you all have different schedules. But I feel like it's the first time in a while that I've really it's a nice little break this year, the way the year works out the way July 4 falls on a Tuesday, I took that Monday off for me. I mean, it was doing stuff, but it was nothing super important. I certainly was not on the phone all day. I did hang out with family over the weekend. So like I just utilize that time because I felt like a lot of people, at least here in the states were taking a four day weekend. And it's a good time. For me, I found it to be a very helpful reset. And I was doing a lot of thinking like I usually do throughout the week. But I feel like something shifted and I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe I really just got into a newer level of thinking and really just kind of asking myself why or why not. And I'll be honest, some of the things that I'm going to talk about later in the episode some of the recommendations I got into which we could talk about now I got into a couple of different things. I got into watching a lot of Bert kreischer and his podcast episodes because I want to learn from the best who I think are the best right now. Like I know a lot of people allow Joe Rogan and human and a lot of podcasts and I love a lot of podcasts. But Bert is to me very relatable. He went to FSU. I went to Miami. There are similarities I see between the both of us. I obviously I am not the machine, but we don't have to get into it today, but I have kind of a similar story. We both went to college in Florida, he went a little bit longer than most people. I also went a little bit longer than some people. Although my program was a five year program. I just see a lot of similarities. I like what Burt's done in his career. I admire it. He always tries to have fun. He's super honest. He has no filter. You know and I honestly I've watched a couple a bunch of episodes catching up on some of his stuff because I've always liked his comedy. Yeah, I've enjoyed it at least since you know really 2019 2020 When I saw the cabin I've seen some of his specials before but I'll be honest, a Bert has really come into his own last four or five years more so I mean, he's always been around but I think he's kind of gotten to that next level so I do you know, I relate to his story a lot. Um, he's just a cool dude. I mean, I don't know personally. But I've been watching a lot of episodes of the broadcast and just just really kind of love what he's doing on you know, a couple of episodes that I'm gonna point out to you that I really enjoyed we were I mean I enjoyed them all like Eliza was a great episode. Sarah Silverman nine I love I love the his he has a wife and two daughters. So I very much relate to how he operates and prior my stroke. I was a lot like Burke where I love drinking had a good time with it for me. You know, I watched another episode just that just came out yesterday with Brett Novak, which I relate to a lot because addiction. My major addiction was alcohol previously, prior to my stroke, which by Bert obviously, you know, talks a lot about and sort of, you know, I don't again, I don't know him personally, but I feel like I don't know if it's a struggle for him because I think he can stop at any point, just like I always good, but I definitely used to enjoy it a lot. And but I also used to get my stuff done. So I think there is some there's something there. But I totally relate to him. I really, really related to the Brandon Novak story. You know, if you don't know Brandon Novak, he was part of Bam Margera as crew back in the day. Those guys were all in Jersey, I think I was down in Miami, but I knew of that. That world and that crew and obviously I used to be a big MTV guy in the early 2000s or late 90s and early 2000s. So I definitely relate being on inside of digital myself for underage binge drinking it at age 20. Back in 2002, this, you know, Jersey Shore, Viva la bam, all these wild and crazy things. I think that was a lot of the 2000s across the board. But definitely, if you were on the East Coast, especially if you were in New York, New Jersey, we think, you know, I can relate to a lot of those stories that a lot of people share. And part of Burke is obviously he went to FSU again, I went to Miami. So even though I left the northeast and went to Florida, I'm not born and raised in Florida, but I have a lot of ties to Florida and just kind of that lifestyle and upbringing. So again, really interesting stuff. You know, but I'll talk about, I'll talk about that more. So anyways, let's hop back into this episode. You know, embracing your why, and asking yourself these questions about why or why not. And what's brought this on is I feel like this week, I personally have been doing a lot of thinking about the direction of things, things, things I still want to do in my life at age 40. As a survivor, I feel fortunate, very lucky to have, you know, had had had the introduction to the power of asking myself why for the last couple of years, being introduced to being being introduced to that and really taking hold of my recovery, I think a lot of survivors sort of understand, eventually, that you are in control of your life. And you know, there is no magic pill. It's very frustrating to go through stroke coverage, especially if you have been left with deficits, because, again, the work that you're doing to improve and get back to the way you were isn't always linear it is in fact very much the opposite. It is just it's a lot of trial and error. It's a lot of guests and check. It's a lot of asking why, how can I get better? Is this the most important thing that I could do for my recovery right now, you know, and that varies from person to person time to time. And I think it's easy to get caught up in a world where you see other people doing different things, it might be other survivors local to you, it might be other survivors online. And it's really hard to keep the blinders on from just a stroke perspective, but also a life perspective, because I think we all see people doing things that we either want to do or think we should already be at this certain level. And it's hard sometimes you get sidetracked sometimes you get wrapped up in what somebody else is doing instead of what you're doing. I mean, at least for myself, I feel like I'm getting better at keeping myself in check. And I'm keeping those blinders on. And I'm being you know good about having smaller goals for me to build up that momentum and build up that resilience so that I can keep to keep the ball rolling in a positive direction. But again, this is not easy stuff. So again, the power of asking yourself, why why do I want to do this? Do I want to get better? You know, it's not that simple. But it is It is that simple because that asking yourself why or why not? Just just keep asking yourself questions, keep building. Keep discussing and you keep going for it until you're You know, towards that goal that you want to be at, and then you reassess again. And again, I think when it comes to why the other important thing is focusing on you and yourself and your recovery, it is great to bounce ideas off other people, it's great to surround yourself with other people who are either going through the same thing. We're just people that you trust and love. However, at the end of the day, their opinions and their their reasons may be very different from yours. So remember, when you're asking why, especially as somebody else, take a moment to process that and internalize it and see if, if, if what they're saying aligns with what you're saying, and take the time. It's okay, if what they're saying doesn't match up with what you want, or what you think. I'm not saying positive side, I'm just saying simply, you know, take it for what it is. Which kind of, you know, can lead to honestly, kind of that next step is where you starting to overcome your own fears and limitations because your fear of judgment from others. This is again, not an easy one, and definitely an ongoing thing, especially for a survivor. Because when you're asking people, and maybe you haven't been through exactly the same situation, even other survivors might have a very different story and a very different takes. So there are going to be some common limitations and fears that hold you back from pursuing your goal. But continuing to ask why or why not? is a really important, like, I wouldn't call it a skill, but it is almost a skill, because here's the thing. You know, I'm doing this podcast now, for survivors, I really want to help other survivors who are struggling, who are going through this who are having a difficult time, maybe they don't have access to different networks. And you know, I have to do a better job of reaching out to other survivors, because I don't know that other survivors are necessarily as open as I am and willing to really go out and find these answers, but they might certainly be looking for them. So that's an area where I asked why or how can I do? How can I be better about certain things, you know. And that's why I share my experience, because it may not help millions of people. Like obviously, I think, like if you were if you're taking a broader look at this podcast in general, there's millions of podcasts on how to be an entrepreneur, and everybody's got their take on how to be an entrepreneur and how to be the best entrepreneur, how to systemize things that had to be more productive, and blah, blah, blah, that's great. I mean, they all have value of some kind. I mean, I don't like most of them, but that's me, you might enjoy them. Same thing with stroke. A lot of there are don't seem to be a lot of survivors sharing their story, at least in a podcast format. So sharing my experiences, I hope is maybe just even a little bit helpful. It doesn't have to be the exact path. I don't even want you to follow my path because I can tell you follow my path will get you in the wrong place very quickly. But high level, you know, asking yourself why or why not when you want to be able to do something as a survivor. Again, I'll go back to that walking thing like, Okay, I can't walk your way, you're one for my recovery because I was in a wheelchair. It just was a fact, right. And then I got out of the wheelchair and I slowly started to progress. Now I didn't go right into running because that's ridiculous. But I built up over time. And again, I've been running for nine months now. We're about three and a half years into my stroke recovery. And I I'm still not a great runner. I don't even want to be a great runner. But I do want to be better, because I would like to just run the same amount of mileage and just to an end a little bit less time every day. So that I think ideally, for me, running becomes a little you know, I don't want to say easier because I don't need it to be easier. But I would like it to take a little less time in my day because I'd love to just go run for two hours and run 10 to 14 miles a day. I mean for teens on the high end, but again, I just want to get like a little better. And by better for me, I mean a little bit faster, just in terms of overall time. I'm not trying to be your break records. I'm not trying to win medals. I'm not trying to run the Boston Marathon. I mean, I wouldn't mind but like Yeah, I mean, again, sharing my experience, I just want to inspire other people to know they can. They can get back to that or they can get to it if they've never been a runner and they want to get into running. Again. I'll share my experience. I'm just I'm just I have no fear when it comes to sharing my mistakes, my hardships, my failures, you know, I want to share the good, the bad, the ugly, I mean, I have my whole life. That's sort of something I felt very strongly about. Because I'm six foot eight 325 pounds, there are not a lot of people like me, just from that perspective, then you add on that I'm now a stroke survivor at the age of 40. Pretty rare. I have MS. Also pretty rare and especially in a male under 40 to be diagnosed at the age of 37. Even more rare. You know, I don't want to just pile on myself things that I have. But I've dealt with addiction with alcohol a little bit with drugs, although not nearly as severe as it was with alcohol. Drugs was more back in my 20s. You know, when thankfully, I never really had to deal with super hot. I mean, I guess I dealt with all kinds of drugs, but I was never like, I had Thank God, you know, and I've heard horror stories of Heroin and Pills. Thankfully, never had to deal with that. But on the flip side, I've dealt with having a stroke at the age, having Ms. Like, it's, it's a lot and you know, people often tell me, I'm a lot and yeah, I am. I mean, there's a lot of things I've done in my life. I've lived a pretty I'm fortunate to be alive. I have lived a pretty privileged life. But I've also, you know, in, in fairness, I've had a lot of things handed to me. On the flip side that are not the greatest, like nobody wants to have a stroke. Nobody thinks I'll ever have a stroke. Nobody thinks they'll have a stroke at the age of 37. I mean, just an aside here. I was talking about bird cast and his episode with Brian Nowak, again from Fievel ABAM. Crew, the band Margera crew back in the day, Brandon Novak was on drugs for a really long time, especially during those years and now he's clean and sober. And I really liked that episode because Bert is comedian by trade. Um, you know, Brandon was on Viva la bam, they both been in showbiz to some degree but it's it's a really interesting conversation and a powerful one. A lot of credits Bert because he he's honestly he interviews a ton of comedians, but he's got gotten some regular guests, you know, people like Brandon Novak, who was in show business, but kind of messed up pretty good. And was very, he's very fortunate to as well again, listen to that podcast episode are watching on YouTube with Bert. It's the newest episode. But it's really powerful stuff. Brandon's really interesting guy, I'd love to kind of, honestly, I don't really, I mean, I know what he's doing from the he's running sober houses. And he's really kind of making a difference. And I really relate to him, because he grew up in that northeast area, he think he's out of Philly. So he's from that Philly, Jersey, New York area, where I'm originally from, and it's just really interesting. And you know, I'm going to try to listen to more episodes and listen back to the one with Bert. But I think what's really interesting is that he was really got into pills, he got into heroin. He's very lucky to be alive. He's, he's grateful. And he's now giving back, which is kind of how I feel a little bit with my stroke recovery. And kind of the reasons for starting this podcast is really to just, man, if I just had, like, I had no body when I went through my stroke, like, there were people at at, at the, at the physical rehab center for stroke recovery, but nobody was my age. The nurses were the physical therapists were occupational therapist, but like, and they were very helpful, and they kind of knew what I was going through. But that didn't really know. So I've never really had that connection with other survivors who really understand the difficulties. So again, if I'm helping one other person, you know, I hope it's more I'd love I gotta get, I gotta get better. Like, I consider myself a content creator. But I've been really bad about connecting with other survivors. And I guess from my point of view, I don't want to be pushing the podcast, but I really want to help other people. And so I do have to better about that. So it's, you know, part of asking myself why a lot this last week is like, why not? Why am I not doing this? What can I do to be better as a podcaster and sharing my story? Is it going on other podcasts is just sharing more, more personal stuff, like I share a lot on this podcast, I don't know necessarily translated into social. Perhaps I shared it and it's a worthwhile endeavor. I think and I struggle with I don't want to seem. For a guy that's not worried about whether other people think I often worry a lot about what people think sometimes, which is hilarious to me. And I don't think I'm alone. So getting over that, it's really I'm not sharing personal stuff for likes or laughs like, I'm really I just need to reset and reframe my state of mind when I'm sharing on social, especially with things related to this podcast and survivors in general. Again, whether it's brain injury, stroke, Ms. Like, honestly, I'm starting to think like, maybe I should talk about addiction more, because really, I don't think addiction directly led to my stroke. But you certainly could argue that being an alcoholic, and a functional one, working from home behind the computer, like I was like, I don't think being an alcoholic directly led to my stroke, but it certainly helped. It certainly didn't. Well, it definitely hurt me being an alcoholic, but it's sort of played a role in my stroke, again, whether it's direct cause my stroke, I don't believe so. And again, nobody knows direct anything. Nothing for me, like I'm being truthful. Like I've asked doctors, we've had conversations. It just, it seems like my stroke at 37 happened from maybe not saying that, obviously being alcoholic, I wasn't eating great. It wasn't taking care of myself the way I do now. So just a combination of a lot of things really kind of a heat sound cliche, but it was the perfect storm. And by perfect storm, I mean, awful. But like you don't, you don't have a stroke at 37 Without a combination of things happening. And again, I feel very lucky to be alive. And so sharing that experience, and I think the other thing I struggle with, and I heard this in the episode of Bert with with Brennan is that, like was telling Brandon, he's he's very inspirational. And I wonder if other people who have been through things like this, and this is actually a question to any survivor out there, like, especially, you know, in the case where you may have had more control over your situation, you know, and you look back, you're like, Well, if I didn't do this, seek help for this. Could I have stopped my own stroke? And yes, like now, battling back, overcoming everything that that has kind of set me and it's in the face, so to speak. With the stroke with the MS, I continue to battle back, I'm continuing to improve my health, I'm continuing to be there as a father as a husband, be there for myself and my kids. So that might be inspirational to people, but sometimes I feel I feel weird about it. And I don't know if I'm alone in that, or if other people feel that it's like, I appreciate others feeling inspired. And I, I feel good that what I'm doing is inspiring people. But on the other hand, it's like I sort of brought this upon myself. So there's a bit of shame. In some regards, like, Nah, man, I'm not inspiring. Like, I'm just this, this guy that did a bunch of stuff wrong, who is really trying to take ownership of the wrongs that he did, mostly to myself, like, I'm sure in somewhere in there. And this is another thing. I won't go into this episode, but I've been thinking like, you know, I talked to my wife a lot. And I think she she feels bad that she didn't see some of the signs, but I also feel bad because I was like hiding some of the things like I wasn't intentionally hiding it, but I was just drinking a lot towards the end. And I wasn't asking for help. And I thought I had it under control. Which clearly I did not. And again, I'd never hurt my way physically, but I just wonder if if some of what I've done has to control both on my inadvertently on my wife on my kids, like, all my family, like my sisters and my parents are no longer alive. But I just I sort of had that realization this week, like, huh, like, in a way and I think I talked about this before I was an alcoholic. And again, this goes back to the asking why or why not? And it's like, you know, I feel very lucky to be alive. As stroke survivor, no matter how it happened, I definitely had a stroke. I definitely have Ms. Like I am working every day to be to express gratitude and thankfulness for being alive and having the people in my life still in my life and that I didn't do anything devastatingly horrible. To level that like There is no longer anybody around. But on the flip side, and again, I think about this as like, I immediately stopped drinking, like had the stroke, that is the end of drinking it cigarette like I haven't smoked or drank since December 23 2019. I mean, surely to today's before, I think I went into hospitals. So let's say like December 20 2019, is probably the last time I drank, or smoked cigarettes, then went into the hospital and then have never had anything since. You know, and some that sometimes that feels like cheating, it's. But on the other hand, if you've had a stroke, or know somebody who's been through a stroke in your life, you know, it is definitely not cheating, I definitely would rather be in 12 step than have had the stroke. And now, as a result, medications, dealing with all the residual effects of stroke financially, physically mentally 12 Step would have been a nice, nicer route to do really avoid all the stroke stuff. However, I'm now asking myself, I wonder if there might be some benefit to like, even though I haven't had a sip of alcohol since stroke? Would there be a benefit of going back and going through the 12 steps? And that's a conversation for another day, but it's one of the things that come out of asking myself, why or why not? You know, and again, I'm just trying to be honest about my situation, and how does it affect other people? It may not you may be a stroke survivor that just had a stroke. Like for other reasons, I, you know, I'm not saying mine was directly tied to alcohol, but definitely played a role. You know, I was doing a lot of unhealthy things, which a lot of stroke survivors, you know, I think, if we're being honest with ourselves, and we're looking back, it's like, well, you know, whatever the, the research says, the numbers always seem off to me, but let's say, let's say 30% of strokes are preventable, completely preventable, that's probably fair, right? Because the burly 30% of survivors, you know, for being honest, weren't exercising, weren't living a healthy lifestyle, you know, could make significant changes could have made them earlier, so that they didn't become a stroke survivor. Hopefully, now they're taking advantage of the fact that they did not, you know, unfortunately, did not pass away. So they survived the stroke. So they're able to call themselves a stroke survivor, and they're able to correct the mistakes that didn't correct earlier, which is very difficult to not, I'm not minimizing that. I'm not. I'm just saying, you know, that that taking, going through his stroke, you know, being able to have that second chance in life, and really figuring out how to navigate it is a little difficult. That's why this podcast exists. And it's hopefully to share stories and to, even if you are a survivor, and you're listening, and you haven't necessarily made all the corrections that you want to make, hopefully you're on the right path, to making those changes in your life. And really taking advantage of the fact that you're able to because some people are not so lucky. And that's really what this podcast is all about is really helping people help themselves. I don't have all the exact answers for your situation. But again, asking yourself why or why not when it comes to certain things that you want to do, or or think you've always thought you wanted to do like, honestly, I'll just say this. The why not think done some me watching Burke cast and thinking, God, I love Bernie. He's a great comedian. I'm thinking about all the comedians that I see on that show that I've seen in the past throughout my life, like whether it's in person at comedy clubs, comedy shows, back when I did improv, and comedy stand up in Miami, very amateur hour, but like, why didn't I continue that and I didn't continue that because I didn't believe myself enough. And I just kept listening to other people. And that's really where I'm going with this podcast episode is like, ask yourself why why do you want to do a thing? And why aren't you doing the thing that you want to do? Why not you? If you want to do something in life, whether it's for fun, whether it's a job, like why not get and I feel like I did it at first but I gotten comfortable again and now I'm really kind of not mad at myself, but I'm just pushing myself harder now. And maybe now I'm just ready to push myself to that next level. Really take ownership and like, why the fuck not like there's so many people when it comes to podcasting. They have so many opinions like Okay, listen, this may not be the best show in the world, but I want to get better right and I want to be a better person. podcaster and I want to have fun. And sometimes this podcast honestly is very heavy, and I want to help people. So again, I'm going to continue doing this podcast. But one of the announcements I want to make on this this episode 22 of lovable survivors that I'm bringing the lovable, it'd be a podcast back. And I'm doing that because I want to get better at doing podcasts and video and put it on YouTube. And while this podcast might be great to that, I don't know. I kind of want to try it with the old Whirlpool idiot. And one of the things I want to do there is go back to having fun. And I do have fun with his podcasts. But it's also very heavy. And I think for somebody like me, it's clear that podcasting is no more my forte than writing everyday as a stroke survivor who's got some limitations when it comes to typing. There are tools out there, I'm making progress. But I just want to go back to having a fun, hobby Hobie. And I love this podcast. I love what I'm doing. I believe in it long term. This is not a short term play. That's why you don't hear sponsor ads every two seconds. Like, they're not billions of stroke survivors listening to this podcast yet. I can do better. I can be better about outreach, getting people to listen, I can tighten up show all those things. But I also have been missing the suit lately. And my hope is that by bringing back love away via podcasts, which is hopefully going to start next week is that I'm just gonna have fun with that podcast, right? And that can go absolutely nowhere. And by having fun on another show of mine, a separate podcast. I'm hoping that it kind of like intertwines with this one where there's, there's more crossover, and I'm bringing you a lot more fun. Because I believe you can be serious and fun. And not everybody can do it. It's honestly I think it's a special skill set than not it really is like some people are great at being jackasses and being hilarious. And some people are great at being hilarious, but also being serious. And I don't know if they belong on the same show. But my hope is that I can sort of combine them and I'll be honest again, you know, a lot of Burke cast, and Bert has had some other podcasts. I mean, now he's got Leanne's got wife at the parties. He's got a couple of shows on his channel. And it just inspired me to like, yeah, wait, why am I listening to everybody else? I've had a stroke. I'm six foot eight and 325 pounds. I'm not saying don't listen to people. But sometimes I get in my own head. And I listen to other people. And I'm like, Wait, what am I doing? until another six, eight motherfucker comes up and tells me, Hey, I'm a six eight guy that has a stroke. And I like comedy. And I, I do this and do this and do this. And it's like, why am I listening to other people, honestly, because there's not a lot of people like me. And I don't know exactly where I'm going with it. But I just want to let you know, I'm bringing back global idiots. I'll be starting that up, hopefully next week, maybe tops two weeks, I'm definitely still working on a couple of things. This is another conversation I've had with myself about why and why not. There's a couple of things that you've heard me talk about on this podcast are all coming to fruition, I've been a little bit bad about kind of doing a thing, doing 80% of the work, but I haven't really finished it. So I'm going to kind of finish these things back up. I'm going to release the email course for survivors through I want to improve their breathing because I feel like that's a real thing that is really going to be useful and helpful for people. Whether it brings them to this podcast or the global idiot I mean, she's you would think breathing and lovable idiot but had nothing to do with each other. But again, there's no reason why they can't because no matter what you do in life, breathing is a thing. Breathing is helpful thing people don't know about it so much like to be 39 last year and realize that I had never really focused on my breathing. You know, and again, Bert shows you on his podcast, he could talk about funny things. He could talk about drinking, you talk about smoking weed, he can do hilarious shows, like the cabin, but he can also great guests on his podcast. He's shown he's an amazing podcast. He's a movie star now like, he just, you know, he just released the machine just came out like he does a lot of things and he's really great at them. And you know, he he's just inspirational to me because it shows me that you can do a lot of things you can go through ups and downs in life and it stumbles on Roblox but you can Yeah, I think I think the major lesson takeaway here is SDN itself, why or why not really embracing those answers and those questions and if we want to get to the bottom of things, asking why is a great way to ask yourself why or why not? To really get to the root of things you want to do as an individual. You know, and it doesn't have to just be because you're survivor but like I specifically think with stroke survivors and brain injury survivors given that secondary virginity at life like really? The power of asking why or why not is super helpful when you're trying to like, Just live your life and have fun doing it. So yeah, just don't underestimate that. So again, I don't have any I just gonna recommend a book but it's again, I recommend the podcast if, if you're a fan of YouTube, definitely watch it. He's got a lot of guests. He's just revamped his studio for like the 18th time, which I love because now I feel justified because I've also done five or six different office moves in my own house. different spaces within my house in the last three years. I must have moved my office five or six times and yeah, I finally feel really settled, but already looking at it like me. I could do better. So yeah, again, Bert cast is great. Definitely watch that. Tons of good episodes. Yeah, he releases one or two week. A couple that I really like. didn't cook was a really good episode. I know. Not everybody's a fan of Dane Cook, but I really enjoyed it. I think it was, you know, Dane is now 50. Like Bert, so you know, I think as we get older, we get a little wiser we grow up and I think there was a lot of good takeaways with Dane. On his episode, liver King was interesting. I was not aware of liver King pillow. Barely. My kids were from you, too. But I was not. I had really enjoyed that. It's a little different, but not bad. And then Brandon Novak, great episode, especially if you know somebody who's struggling with alcohol or drugs or addiction of any kind, highly recommended. I'm gonna watch it again this weekend. And for old times sake, started watching entourage? I don't know. I think it's funny because I didn't realize entourage started in 2004. And we all had flip phones. So back in that day, so that was kind of, I feel like I'm reliving my 20s Watching entourage and flip phones. It's hilarious, but kind of a good show if you just want to take your mind off all the heavy stuff in life. Anyways, I hope you found this episode valuable. Remember as yourself Why or why not? Don't Don't let fears limit you in life. Yeah, I mean, I know it's easier said than done sometimes. But it's a good reminder that you've been given a second chance in life as a survivor with again, whatever your survivor from, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're hopefully you're not even a survivor honestly. But again, so it's up Why Why not question that question that status quo. And if you think you want to do give it a shot. You know, failure is a great teacher. So even if you're you think you'll be great comedian and you wanted to practice stand up and you're 40 years old, like myself, like, just go for it, you know, learn from it. If you want to get better get better. But you got to try you got to play the game. If you if you want to do it, go after it. You know, I could say a million things about that, but I think we'll leave it there for episode 22 of levels of our podcast.