12. Unlocking the Secret Ingredients for an Exceptional Stroke Recovery

What's up everybody, this will just a couple of quick notes before we hop into this episode of the podcast. want to remind everybody that you can certainly leave a review of the podcast if you're enjoying it on your favorite podcast player app. Or you can leave one directly our website podcast at Lone Wolf survivor.com. All the ratings and reviews really do help the show grow. And we'd really appreciate it. Also, if you're interested in learning more about the community that we're building, if you go sign up for updates and details at VIP dot survivor science.com And without further ado, let's hop into this week's episode My name is Will Schmierer Welcome back to another episode of The Lovable Survivor Podcast. This week is episode 12 of the podcast and I don't really have a great specific topic this week. So I thought I'd share some newly found resources. Ones that I'm surprised I didn't find until very recently, given that I've been now a survivor for the past three plus years. And one is a book, the other is a podcast. And I just want to kind of get into them and share both these resources and discuss some of this book that I kind of just tripped upon in the last week or so of doing research and it is phenomenal. So let's get to it. Before we really dump or jump dump every jump head spur headfirst. Yeah, just a reminder to head over to VIP dot survivor science.com If you're interested in finding out more information, when I launched the community it's only VIP because I thought that was cooler than waitlist. You know, being from Miami and New Jersey, New York. VIP obviously means different things to different people, it is not really a VIP list. It's just if you're interested, and you do want to becoming an early member, like when most communities launch, you will probably get some definite benefits being an early joiner of the community. So again, VIP dot survivor science calm. Yeah. So again, with that, let's hop into this episode. So the two resources that I have come across the last couple of weeks and mind you I research. You know, I go through my own thoughts. I share my own story a lot on this podcast. And sometimes I you know, I the well runs dry and you just go back to the research table, I use a lot of different tools as a creator. To find topics that might be interesting. I talked to other survivors, I talked to my therapy team, I talked to people at therapy. Again, since I've been going the last couple of weeks or months really in order to do a yearly kind of refresh and see where I can get better. But this I'm surprised, specifically because this podcast, I guess they started in 2021 I want to say and I guess you know, because I wasn't really in my previous podcast, just talking about stroke survivors and bringing various viruses. So you know, my might have been why I missed it. Who knows, podcasts are still slides are difficult to find, even when you're really searching specifically for like stroke, which is not say as common as entrepreneurship or current events. Anyways, really good resource, really a big backup and listings as you know, I kind of caught up on SPA guests with them. Now going back backwards. But yeah, the podcast is called no stroke. It's hosted by Mike Garrow. And David going to screw this up David 10. Sarah, he is Mike is a caregiver is Mother I believe had a stroke. I don't want want to mess this up. But I'm pretty sure that was the case. And then David is a physical therapist and also a stroke survivor. I believe going on 16 years but I might have that brain incorrect because I've been listening to like sporadic episodes and going back and listening to others but yeah, they do an interview show with people in the field. You know? Anyways, So definitely check it out, go to the website, no stroke pod.com. They seem like really good guys look forward to connecting you with them. And maybe, you know, we might do kind of a thing, and we'll see where it goes. But yeah, they are definitely knowledgeable. And it's different than this show. But ya know, it's great stuff. It's a great resource for stroke survivors and caregivers and family. Which, you know, there's a lot of information. So I think the more shows the better. Same with books, you know, the book that I found, I was a little surprised to find this book because I believe the original published date was before my stroke. And for whatever reason, I know, I read voraciously, I've talked about it at nauseam either on this podcast or my previous podcast, the lovable idiot podcast. But yeah, this is a really good book that I found in like the just the last week, and I started it. So far, so good, we'll talk a ton about some of the things that I really liked that book already and share them here. But the book itself is called hope after stroke for caregivers and survivors, the holistic guide to getting your life back. Now, that being said, the title may have turned me off initially, probably because I didn't realize at the time of my stroke, really what holistic meant. And, you know, I think with a lot of people who go through a significant life event, sometimes it just takes time to find the right things. And you know, it's weird to be in these Hospitals and Facilities and talk to different people. And really, it always surprises me when I've never heard of a book or a resource until now, a couple years into this. Now, obviously, you can hear everything. But I think that just speaks to the fact that larger communities for survivors are needed, because there are tons of resources. Some are easier to find than others, for whatever reason that could be for search engine optimization. Even on Amazon, like how did I not come across this? How did I not come across this book, I'm on Amazon, you know, 50 times a day buying X, Y, and Z either for the house for the kids, for myself, for him or for my daughter, you know, it never ends. I'm on Amazon more than any other website. So again, the book is called hope after stroke, caregivers and survivors, the holistic guide to getting your life back. I'm going to mess up her name as well, but it does pointed Intamin. And the book is great. Honestly, I'm a couple of chapters in I have not read the whole thing. But I wish I found it sooner because well now, I don't know that I wish that I found it sooner. But there's some really good stuff in there. And one of the things that I want to talk about today in this episode is kind of, I guess, things that I've done are things that I didn't realize I was doing necessarily because I didn't put it into a book form and really write down my sort of recipe. But I love this. This is one part of the book. It's in chapter four. And she talks about the secret sauce on. And it's the secret sauce for what makes for exceptional recovery. And I feel like he's got some great points. There are sort of four main points that she brings about. Now, this is not scientific. This is not super research. This is more from observation. And I would have to agree with these because and I have a little bit of a different take on one part. But yeah, it's a great conversation starter. And I think she's right, she hits the nail on the head here in this book. And yeah, there are sort of four or five factors that really make all the difference in the world. Now take it with a grain of salt, but I'm sorry. Before that she points out her gratitude, humor, persistence and acceptance. Now I'm going to talk a little bit about each of these. She talks about a length in the book and I do recommend you get a copy of the book. I think it's available in paperback hardback. It's available on Audible if that jam, also available on Kindle. And I think the interesting thing about some of these these four things and there was like another one she talks about, which I really appreciate was faith with the biggest, like, fifth one is not faith necessarily. I mean, it's faith and what faith means to you. Now, I am not particularly religious, I have not raised our children to be particularly that way, I did go to Catholic high school, I am not Catholic, I was raised Presbyterian in New Jersey. My wife is Joanne, she's obviously now a citizen of the US. She's not a practicing Catholic, but she certainly identifies as a Catholic. But no matter. What I loved was an I really appreciated was that she said that people who have like, faith and whatever that means, see you really are, it's a big part of having that exceptional recovery plays a big role. And what I liked is that she said, for those that are agnostic or atheist, and I don't really know where I fall on that spectrum. But you know, when, when it comes to faith, it's like faith in doctors, faith in science, faith in yourself in making that recovery. And it's so important to have that faith and that hope. And that belief, because it's not really a passive state of being it's, it's an active part of life. And that's just resonated with me, because I feel like that's were I, I sort of just woke up early on in my recovery, and it's like, I gotta figure this out. For a lot of reasons, but I wanted to figure it out for myself. And I feel like these really do hit the nail on the head for an exceptional recovery. And, you know, make no mistake about it, there's, this is gonna be a little different for everybody. But it's such a great way of summing it up. Gratitude, I think it's a big one. I learned early on in in my stay at Brooks rehab hospital here in the regular hospital. A big guy, I'd never really had to ask for help prior to my stroke. But I was always very thankful, very appreciative of the nursing staff. Whether it's a nurse, a CNA, whatever the role was, it didn't matter if it was like the janitorial staff, cleaning the room. Just always trying to be polite, and say hi, and reach out to them. And you know, thank them for their help. And rivetted really did appreciate it. These were things that I couldn't do, I couldn't walk, I couldn't get out of bed. So I need help. And I think that's a big thing I learned early on to just, I was very thankful for these individuals who were obviously doing their job, but they were just I wouldn't say it was like a huge, you know, in some cases it was but they were they were playing an active role and making a difference in my life. Yeah. So yeah, gratitude was this, again, is, it sounds silly, it sounds simple. It's not the way immediate, but I mean, having gratitude and just being thankful for one being alive, being able to even you know, it's so hard to wrap your head around, but it's just such an important part of this journey is that, you know, just be thankful for the opportunity, thankful for the people helping you. It's, uh, you know, I again, I was thankful to be alive and anybody that helped along the way and still helps along the way, I continue to be very grateful for the opportunity. And I think that's what this podcast is about is about taking chances and making the most of that, you know, and I'm sure there's some we could talk about with gratitude. It's obviously not a small topic, but I think it kind of ties in nicely with humor. That's always been a part of me. That's obviously this my previous podcast was called a lovable idiot. Yeah, so humor obviously ties into mean he doesn't obviously die into gratitude, but humor is a big thing in my book and always has been. For various reasons. I think as a kid, I was always drawn to humor. Um, um, no, just a big thing in my life, probably from improv and from just being the big guy, the funny guy to something that I've been drawn to. And, you know, I don't want to oversimplify the importance of humor. But like, you know, one of the things about humor here is that, especially for me, you know, and I think any stroke survivor, you really aren't anticipating having this stroke. Although in a quick aside, I would say 80% of strokes are preventable, which actually makes some sense, right, because I personally was doing everything wrong. From a health management standpoint. And I wouldn't normally say that except for I had high blood pressure, I was not going to doctors, was drinking heavily I was smoking. So I fully admit that I was doing everything wrong. So that being said, Nobody anticipates having a stroke, nobody wants to have a stroke, there, unfortunately, is no rewind button when it comes to having that stroke. So, for me, humor was a big thing, and continues to be a big thing, because I really honestly, as dark and twisted as it sounds, humor shows up and like the most in the simple, but also kind of the ridet. Like, it's just I sat there again, early on, I was just like, oh my god, I'm 37 years old. I'm a father of three. With a daughter in high school, a son, other son, no son that was in kindergarten, another son that was not even in preschool. And I just had to sit there and be like, Oh, my God, this is ridiculous. And you know, that's a little dark. But I think the sheer ridiculousness of it is really, I could do nothing but laugh. And yeah, I mean, not, it's not easy to laugh every day. But I sort of, you know, when I think about where I'm going now, and things that I'm doing, to really get back to really that exceptional level that I want to be at, personally, professionally, in every bit, I want. Like a lot of survivors, I want to get back, you know, to the business of being me to the business of running my family to the business of helping my wife. and I are trying to underplay or overplay any of this. It's just like, you have to just find the funny you had. I mean, you don't have to do anything. But I think sort of. Yeah, I mean, these, that's why these, these four things really sort of hit home for me is because you, you have two choices, he can wake up, put one foot in front of the other, you can kind of do the work. And, you know, that's easier said than done. But it's kind of, and I think releasing this podcast, you know, it isn't easy work. But it's worthwhile work. And I'm waking up with that gratitude and appreciation for life, no matter what your situation is whether you have a little bit of deficit, a ton of deficit, I think everybody's going to be different. That's not a cliche. That's just the way it is, you know, when the reason the every stroke is different is because every brain is completely different. Unfortunately, it's not prescriptive, there are. But I think there are sort of principles. And honestly, this book is a great resource. And I feel like there are other great resources. And it's so amazing to me to just be finding these now a couple of years in. But again, humor. It's sort of for me, it makes it easier to get up every day. It's not always easy. It's Sunday's are difficult. And I think that's true whether you've had a stroke or not. At any stage in life, there are good days and bad days. And again, last week, I was talking about my one of my doctors who I was listening to on a podcast and she said the you know, the goal is to have more good days than bad days. And yes, that's true, but I'd really rather be at a like a 9010 ratio of 90% good days and 10% bad days. And I think humor helps me a ton on sometimes to my detriment. I'm a high push. I push the humor button a little hard sometimes i Yeah, I've been known to push things but that's what keeps things light and fun. For me, if it's not fun, I don't want to do it. Again, I I can't speak for all survivors, but I feel like yeah, if you've been given a second chance and doing the work on yourself, and you're, you know, you're kind of quote unquote, doing the right things, and you want to get back to a certain thing. You know, life of boring life is not? Well, it'll leave if it gets in the cards for me being that I'm a stroke survivor with MS under the age of 40. But are now I am 40. But yeah, I think finding the humor and finding the funny is a really big part of my success. And yeah, I mean, honestly, that's why I run every day is so I could tweet about running. Because I hated running my whole life, I sympathize with every single person that hates running, I still really don't fit into the table, quote, unquote, runner crowd. But I find nothing more hilarious than the fact that I'm running a half marathon a day, on average, you know, I've been, I think we're at 28 days, consecutive of double digit miles. You know, I'm on day 190, something in a row of burning. And again, that actually ties in perfectly to the next one she talks about in her book, which is, again, the first one was gratitude. Second is humor. Faith is kind of a part of that I touched on that. And I really love her take on faith, and the broader sense. But yeah, persistence, that's another big one. I am persistent for a lot of reasons. Because I'm stubborn, like my mother was, I am stubborn, like my father was. But I also have three kids and a wife that rely on me and not the other, they can make it without me, but like, I want to be here and show up for them. And as same is true for the people that I work with. And that I do business with. And the same people that are my friends that I make laugh, like, I want to show up and make them laugh. I want to get people to see, you know, not just the bright, or the dark, just just the funny side of life. To have fun. And you know, you could do both, I believe you can you can be educational and informative, but you could also be funny and lovable. And that I mean, that's exactly why this show was called lables survivor. I honestly, I've gotten away a little bit sometimes from being, you know, more of my funny self. But the truth is, this is a serious topic, being a stroke survivor, but I think it's a good reminder to me to keep injecting that humor. You know, it may not be every episode, it may not be every minute of every episode, because some of this stuff is a little heavy. And I do try to light it up when I can. When it seems you know. Boy, I'm gonna hate myself for saying this. But like, when is when it's appropriate. And when it's not. I mean, I don't think there's really a bad time for humor, but obviously if you're talking about something really difficult. Yeah. I'd say he's to fall back on humor, but are things like you know what, I don't know that we've gotten there. But um, yeah. There's never really a wrong time for humor. But the there's moments I guess. Where as much as I love being the funny guy and finding the bunny, are difficult things and times and topics to kind of turn that humor off but I just I love that quirkiness and I love other people's quirkiness and I love being able to laugh at myself and laughing at others and not in a mean way. But just kind of like in a in a loving, caring way and if I'm not poking fun at you or myself, but you know that I told my daughter when she and I have discussed it because sometimes her friends like I'll make fun of them, but it's because I like them. And if I'm not making fun of them or I'm not teasing or joking that that actually points to another thing that you know would be more concerning is that I really have no thoughts Yeah, but persistence, you know, that is that is a broad topic. I mean, again, why do I need to be riding the peloton every day since June 11 of last year in the album over the 300 day mark of peloton in a row. You know in some of these days, it's just been a 15 minute ride with Kendall tool but it's it's his drive and persistence to get better on your on this again happened a year or two for me. I think one of the other things, you know, and along lines of persistence is I sort of have despair. sistance about questioning everything. Now, I don't mean questioning in the sense that like, people are right or wrong, or if there even is a right or wrong, but I just I always want to continuously learn, I want to continuously get better. And if I don't ask questions of myself and others, you know, I want to make sure I'm pushing and pushing appropriately. Like, I'm not pushing too hard where I overdo it, because it definitely has that tendency. But I'm just constantly sort of questioning and being persistent. And I think he's talked a lot about that in his book. You know, and the fourth ingredient, and I think I do think, for me questioning, and just being able to ask questions, is another part of this equation, this is sort of my take, that I'm adding her, her fourth ingredient to the secret sauce was sort of acceptance. And I love this, because this again, gets me thinking in a different way. And I think acceptance is sometimes the query confused with agreement or being an agreement with others. And it is a little tough bunch is really great take in your book on this. And again, I recommend everybody go get this book and check it out. Because I feel like it would have been super helpful to have this book in the beginning, just a sort of a little bit of a roadmap of what see going forward. As a young, early survivor, beginning of the journey. You know, I feel like I've made it through pretty well, this far. So this went on finally, the book is actually perfect. You know, it's a good time for me, but I think you know, when you think about acceptance, it's not accepting. I mean, there's, it's multifaceted, there's accepting what's happened, right, we can't hit the rewind button. Life is going to change, life is changed. And there's that there's sort of this acceptance of like, okay, this is my life now. How am I going to best move forward? You know, acceptance doesn't mean, don't question or don't push, it just means, you know, let's find the way that works best. So that you can really be at thriving survivor that you want to be. You know, when it isn't process, and it takes time, and I think, is different for everybody. And it's just growth and progress. It's a work in progress. And I think, sort of accepting that. Coming to terms, I guess, is a good way of saying it for me is like, you think about restoration versus compensation. You know, and I think it's questioning and that constant re evaluation that I talked about, where you're pushing yourself a certain amount, and you're evaluating on on whether it's monthly or you know, semiannual annual basis, things you want to progress goals, you want to have goals you do have and if you're making progress, if you feel like, okay, you know, maybe I'm not there yet, but maybe now is the time to focus on it, like this year. You know, in a way, I've had a little trouble with acceptance, because I'm not willing to give up, but it's also it's, um, you know, I think typing is a good example. It's like, I don't want to give up on typing. But there are times where is this most efficient use of my time? Is this speed something I'm okay with? Do I want to progress in the speed of my typing? You know, there are some, some limitations and I know what they are like, I would be okay. I think at this point, typing a little bit faster than I currently am. So like, I'm on the way and I'm doing the work. And I've reevaluated where I'm at and I'm putting a little time in each day. I'm not putting 10 hours a day and because even if I put 10 hours a day in I don't think I'm gonna get back that in return, so it's again, that's why it's a constant evaluation. With your situation progress of what you're willing to accept, and I think it just comes in stages and there are times where I'm still surprised by this, I won't pick up a pen, really and do some intentional writing for a couple of months, and then all of a sudden, it's better. And I think that's the thing, too, is sometimes when you're not focusing on something, specifically, your brain is still working in justing and rewiring. And so yeah, I mean, I think it's not an overnight process. It comes in stages, it comes at different times. And I think the biggest thing I could say when it comes to all this is that it's not the doctors or therapists, physical therapists, occupational therapists, none of them are wrong. But I do feel like if you keep questioning, if you keep putting in the work, that you can have that long term success and really make that exceptional recovery if you want to. And but it isn't without work, it it. It takes support. But support looks different for everybody. I think, you know, family is great for everybody, I think there are people who will stand by you and support you. Long term, there are people that will grow tired, or they will become less involved over time. So I think it's really wrapping your head around what that looks like for you if you start to notice people dropping off funding, exterior external support, whether it's through an online community, friends, therapists, you know, when I think it's back to that acceptance, you can, you can't control everybody, you shouldn't want to control everybody. Of course, you want everybody to be helpful and be on your team. And, you know, I think we don't give necessarily reasons for people to, to jump off ship or you know, but people get tired. Even caretakers, my wife is amazing. Hasn't has been forever, but I think she's, she's not. Yeah, no, she's by no means is she giving up on behaving? She's sort of at times, she she, she doesn't even know. But she's sort of inadvertently pushing me to push myself and I think I've caught that recently at times. And I, we've had conversations and it's okay, it's fine. I need to push myself a little bit that that is a difficult skill to master as a survivor, and the last thing I'll kind of touch on today's episode is, yeah, you know, you want to be safe. You want to push yourself, you want to drive to get better, and sometimes they just can be confusing about when you need to push yourself a little more. It can be frustrating, is you want to do something quickly. And so if you only got five minutes and you use something, it's going to take you 10 Yeah, it's it's tough, but I think pushing yourself to a little bit in that case where it's safe and not the end of the world. Obviously, pushing yourself is how you're going to progress. So um, yeah, again, these podcasts is no stroke. It's with Mike and David. Great show check it out. The book again is called hope after stroke. for caregivers and survivors, the holistic guide to getting your life back, really good book I wish I had found sooner not not even sure why these two things are not things I didn't find sooner. But I guess it's part of the journey. As a survivor, you kind of go in these phases and you work on a thing and you get into a thing and you do a thing that's working, good progress, and then you go back and you reevaluate. And I think I am no different than any other survivor. I think I'm in the same process and yeah, I hope you found this super helpful and I hope you know, I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you've read this book. You've found it helpful. I know I have so far I have not finished it so we'll probably touch on it again. And again, go check out the no stroke podcast the guys seem great. Great show lots of different interviews. I love hearing their perspective and their their their things that they talked about because I think it's super beneficial. So anyways, with that, we wrap this episode up. I'll see you next week. Bye. As always, I hope you did enjoy this episode of the podcast and if you enjoyed this episode or another episode, maybe you'll consider leaving us a review. You can do so on our website, podcast dot lovable survivor.com or inside your favorite podcast player app, whether that Spotify, Apple podcasts, good pods or another podcast player. It really does help grow the show. Get the word out A survivor being a survivor is not easy, and others could benefit. So again, thank you for listening. Hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you next week on the local survivor podcast.