52. Overcoming Post-Stroke Isolation: Building Community and Confidence One Step at a Tim

WEBVTT

00:00:00.799 --> 00:00:20.074
Right. Alright. Alright. What's up, everybody? Couple quick notes as always before the episode. This week in episode 52 of the Global Startup Podcast, I chat a lot about, isolation. Isolation can be a really hard, tricky thing to navigate, especially in the beginning.

00:00:20.855 --> 00:00:50.424
I will say in the beginning, it's not quite as obvious that it might be happening to you. In fact, you know, the 1st couple years, I enjoyed it. I came out of my stroke and inpatient rehab during the pandemic, so I wasn't really isolated any differently than anybody else was isolated. It wasn't until a couple years out, even more recently, that I realized how isolated I've been over the years. I think it's important to keep in mind it's things change. Relationships change.

00:00:50.804 --> 00:01:16.025
A lot changes after you have a stroke, as you know, And it's sometimes obvious, but sometimes it's not so obvious that it's happening to you. And I think it's something you'd be very mindful of, and it's almost as bad as any other kind of really anything. If you think about it, isolation can be just as detrimental to your health as a lot of things, if not more. There's a lot of research on isolation.

00:01:17.204 --> 00:01:19.385
For me, again, I didn't recognize it.

00:01:21.099 --> 00:01:24.480
So focused on my recovery. I was doing a lot of things.

00:01:25.180 --> 00:01:28.299
It could be that it's an election year. It could be a lot of things.

00:01:28.299 --> 00:01:42.375
It could just be the time of my life. But I noticed I'd been pulling away for years, and it wasn't even intentional. I was just working on myself, but I was so focused on working on myself that I forgot member of society.

00:01:44.114 --> 00:02:59.965
And I think I fooled myself. I think I was doing a lot of things that we all should do, which is get out there, be active, talk to people, hang out in the community, go to a local coffee shop, get out of your house from time to time. And because I had worked, remotely for a long it was something that kinda crept up on me. So it's really something to be mindful of. I talk about a bunch of things in this episode. I do I didn't end the episode knowing what I was gonna talk about, but I think next week, I'm gonna talk about kind of, making recovery an obsession, which is a little different than this week. If we go a little deep, I share some of my stories, some insights on ways you can catch yourself, things you could do to prevent isolation, kind of the importance of, the center in survivor science in general, building community outside of your world, I think, is super important. Again, we all have friends that kinda come and go, change, some for the better, some for the worse. It's just a hard thing to go through as a stroke survivor. Anyways, I think there's lots you can learn from this episode. I hope you take a lot of valuable insights and kinda reflect on your own situation. Hope you're doing well, and enjoy episode 52 of the Lobos Rower podcast starting this now.

00:03:21.764 --> 00:04:49.605
We are going to be talking about getting out of isolation. It's something that's been on my mind a lot lately, breaking out of isolation. I think it can creep up on you reconnecting with society as a stroke survivor is ultimately important. It is of us probably don't think about because we're concerned about our conditions. We're concerned about our family. We're concerned about our life. There's so many things to deal with when it comes to stroke. It's just something you don't even think about until one day you wake up and you realize, damn, I have been isolated, like, I don't know what brought this on recently, but I I think it's a combination of a couple things. I'm working for myself for a few years now, doing my own thing. I love it. Love what I do. Love who I help. But I gotta be honest, I'm missing that team component. I'm missing. I've tried different communities, and, you know, I'm my own breed. Right? Not everybody is quite like me. I feel to be honest, my entire life, I felt isolated. I think it's something I know when, you know, woe is me. It's not about that. It's just I'm 6 foot 8. £300. Well, nowhere near£300 anymore. I'm like but there's not a lot of 6.40 275 pound people walking around this planet. And, yes, I have plenty of family.

00:04:49.605 --> 00:05:04.610
I love my family. In fact, if I had more friends and more people and a bit even bigger community, I probably would just stay isolated. That's how I am in the real world. Like, you see me here.

00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:15.644
I spend a lot of energy on this podcast. I spend a lot of energy on phone calls. I I do a lot for a stroke survivor. I do a lot for a regular person.

00:05:17.464 --> 00:06:19.464
That's also a thing I've been thinking about a lot lately. He did get back out into a team, join a team in environment. You know, I love like I said, I love the businesses I run, love survivor science, love what I'm building, but it is a long term project. It's not you know, it's they was never meant to be immediate results. I am now as a might likely be. And once your strokes are over, your strokes are over for life. I have a lot of insight and a lot of ways I can help different people, but I, I gotta be honest. Sometimes I struggle with the messaging. I I know who I want to help, but finding those people going on social media, extroverted, you know, it all takes time and energy. And I love this podcast. I think I can reach more people through a podcast. I think writing helps me on the survivor science end. Kinda think about my thoughts and get them down onto paper before I do episodes of the podcast or vice versa.

00:06:21.009 --> 00:07:59.644
Yeah. I mean, I think you can find yourself one day. You're just like, man, I am in an isolated position now. I yeah. There's a lot of things, different directions we can go in this episode, as far as isolation, but it's just been something all my come you know, maybe it's the time of year. We're coming out of summer into fall. It's about to be Halloween season. It's, you know, followed by the rest of the Thanksgiving and the Christmas, and it's just that time of year. So, I think we're gonna switch things up this week. For some reason, I've decided that we're gonna do a little bit of a personal an episode. Obviously, this episode is about breaking out of isolation, reconnecting with society, something that's been on my mind. But before we do that, one of the things I do enjoy is, my personal have I been listening to? A lot of podcasts this past couple weeks, especially we did episode 51 on the use of AI. Maybe maybe part of that was, you know, maybe that would kinda I think this isolation idea kinda came out of some of the things I was thinking about and talking about using tools like AI and, you know, you get so siloed and so focused you on my recovery. You know, I don't go to outpatient therapy as often anymore, so I'm not seeing people as often. My local meetup group or my local meetup for stroke survivors, you know, we haven't met in a couple months because this summer, that's been different.

00:08:00.985 --> 00:08:11.500
People in survive in the the center by survivor science, but, you know, that's slowly but surely shifting and hopefully will be more engaging over time. We'll bring more people in.

00:08:12.519 --> 00:08:15.899
Honestly, that's why I started the center, and survivor science.

00:08:15.959 --> 00:08:21.694
They're kind of the boat that this this center is part of the the community. Wherever sinus.com.

00:08:23.754 --> 00:08:55.705
I just wanna meet more people. I wanna learn from other people. I wanna know what they're doing as strokes or others. What's working? What's not working? What are you trying to work on now? Holding each other accountable, having, you know, weekly calls. But even with that, you know, I think it goes beyond just the computer. Honestly, I think having the ability to connect with other stroke servers around the world, different places, maybe people are in much more rural and remote places. You can't get to a community. Maybe you can't drive to your local you know, if you're a stroke server that can't drive yet.

00:08:57.365 --> 00:08:59.945
Online is a great, avenue.

00:09:01.284 --> 00:09:05.065
The other ones, it's just another venue, and I think it's super important.

00:09:06.208 --> 00:09:20.164
I can't say that enough because figuring out stroke is difficult. Doing it alone is even more difficult. If you're lucky enough to have family and friends, great. Not everybody has those opportunities, so it's super important. But yeah.

00:09:20.865 --> 00:09:39.250
View this week's topic, which is breaking out of isolation. I think it kinda creeps up on you. At least it certainly has for me. Again, I'm an introvert. I like my time. I value my time. I like doing the things I wanna do. I enjoy being present with my family now more than ever.

00:09:40.990 --> 00:11:00.110
Said, like, part of the reason I'm considering looking at working with teams again is because I wanna be in that team environment. I really wanna, you know, I wanna make an impact with stroke survivors and survivor science, but that's a long term thing. That's that's a forever thing, and it may grow wildly successful, but it may never it's still valuable and helpful, and I think it's something that's super important for the community at large because I see it day in and day out. I think we've all seen it as part of the, health care system in general in America is kind of for lack of a better word, it is it's a broken system, and it's a system of symptoms. It's not a long term solution. There's not a lot of long term things in place, especially for stroke survivors, people affected by brain injury. It's just I don't know. There's a lot of pitfalls. There's a lot of holes. There's a lot of gaps that need filling whether it's by people like me or peep you know, health professionals, they're doing the best they can. I think doctors are overwhelmed. I think nursing staffs are overwhelmed. I think everybody in the space is overwhelmed. It's it's it's a real epidemic in this country. And I never thought, you know, my stroke, I take a lot of blame for having a stroke.

00:11:01.129 --> 00:11:33.600
To be honest, some of it's out of my control, and a lot of times it's out of our control. And whether it was what was or what's not totally your control, the point is the system is being overwhelmed in a big way, and the resources just aren't there, for a variety of reasons. You know, I don't wanna get into it because I'm not, you know, fully versed on why the system has gotten the way it has, but it's just, you know, that things are different. Things difficult things are kind of a bit broken.

00:11:33.659 --> 00:11:51.769
So, anyways, getting back to the topic of this episode is really about isolation, and after stroke, it's because why? Because in the early days, you're you're in therapies, hopefully. You're in inpatient. You're in outpatient. You have family around, people are supporting you in the early days.

00:11:53.509 --> 00:12:27.948
So you might not realize it. I certainly didn't. I think about my own experience of coming out at the time of COVID. I I don't need everybody was isolated that beginning of COVID, even in Florida. You know, we had a better app here, but everybody was isolated for most of 2020 to some degree, obviously, a very state to state and locations at the location and personal preference personal preference, but settles. Right? And those visits from friends and family, they slow down. Those phone calls, they slow down.

00:12:27.948 --> 00:13:12.399
Things just change, and it's not because people don't wanna support. It's just because, honestly, if you're like me, you kinda start to figure things out, and people kinda just for lack of a better word, they took me at my word. And and, honestly, I thought I was get I have gotten better, to be clear. I've done a lot of work, But sometimes I've done so much work, I forget to take a break and look back, and it's like, oh, I have come really far. I've done a lot of still, you know, there's still work to be done, and it's, you can become isolated maybe if you're not careful. And I think that's what I really realized in this last week.

00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:45.399
I don't know why it kinda just came upon me when I was thinking about the podcast and things to talk about, and I was brainstorming ideas. Crap. I have been really pretty isolated from the world for a long time. I do make an effort consistently to get out of the house. Certainly, this year and last year, even running in the neighborhood. But, you know, I'm I'm like a lot of people, I but I I like routine despite what most people think.

00:13:46.774 --> 00:14:22.153
You know, when everybody has a different journey, I think, for some people who are extroverts and who are feeling confident, you know, but there's they're they're able to easily get back at the world. You know, my story, I'm sharing my perspective. I think it's just things to be mindful and it's to be careful about because you can get you you can get stuck in a trap and you don't even realize it. I think it is kind of what it comes down to you. Haven't really felt disconnect from the world, but maybe it's just the the economy. This is an election year.

00:14:22.153 --> 00:15:34.278
There's a lot going on. The job market is weird, especially for me. You know, I I kind of been looking at going back to to potentially full time work to get back into a team environment because it's it's where I thrive. I love leading teams. I love helping individuals become of being a part of a team. And I think there's a lot of work that can be done in that space, and I think there there there's there's a place that can make an impact not beyond, you know, keep the community, keep survivor science well and alive, keep the center a big focus of what I do, but, you know, exploring different opportunities and different ways of thinking. And and and like I said, being a part of a team, you know, you hear different things about on social media. But, yeah, it's a it's a good way to get out of your comfort zone. I think we can get stuck in a comfort zone sometimes, and it's nice when you got it the way you want it. But there it's always a double edged sword. But I will say it's nice to have, sort of that that that nest behind you, I guess, so to speak.

00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:39.980
Because if things change or you do wind up going back somewhere and it's not the right fit, it's nice to have a fallback.

00:15:41.865 --> 00:16:12.195
But I've been thinking about it a lot with school and psychology and and the, master's of business program and, like, you know, there's there's a couple of different things going on. So, you know, again, it's something to be mindful because isolation feels safe. It's, that's the tricky part. You know, as a stroke survivor, you wanna feel feel good. You wanna feel like you've regained confidence. And part of the trick here is that as a stroke survivor, you know your life has changed dramatically.

00:16:12.414 --> 00:16:34.995
You're probably not the way you used to be. You might be better. You might be physically able. There's a lot of things you certainly are on the way to, but I don't know. It's just it's it's just, maybe you're earlier on. Maybe you still have mobility issues and challenges, so you don't wanna leave the house.

00:16:35.554 --> 00:16:54.339
But I encourage you to be careful of that. You know, I'm thinking of another I saw I forget her name. I'm so sorry. But I I saw somebody somebody that I follow on TikTok, in terms of the stroke survivors. There's a lot of stroke survivors that I follow on TikTok, and she made a great point.

00:16:54.958 --> 00:17:33.335
I think it might have even mentioned it last week in the episode, but maybe not. Moving in mobility is, I know I've talked about it in the show, but I think there are traps we can fall into. Obviously, if you're in a wheelchair and you're not able to walk, that's gonna be difficult. Right? But you can do a lot of arm movement, and I think sometimes we don't think of these things. Just like I always talk about with breath work, it's like, oh, breath work. During the time I was in my wheelchair, that would have been a great way to improve some things, when I was much more limited in being able to walk and move around.

00:17:34.035 --> 00:17:48.069
Thankfully, I found it. Thankfully, I figured things out to a pretty high degree, not necessarily exactly where I wanna be way, heading into year 5, continuing to get better, something I'm always striving for, something, hopefully, you are as well.

00:17:48.769 --> 00:17:55.750
But, again, when it comes to isolation, you just have to be very, very careful because you could get stuck home.

00:17:57.025 --> 00:18:55.525
It can feel safe. It feels good because, but sometimes, best parts of life are in those uncomfortable moments. It's it's the more you do, the more you try to get out in the world, the better off you will be. I believe that. I know it can seem difficult at times, but just even simple things, going to the coffee shop, going to a Starbucks, maybe your local coffee shop, going I know for me, the first couple years, I was embarrassed to go out for a meal because I didn't like the way I appeared to myself when sitting there. I struggle with a fork for a long time. Even now yeah. I still feel a little awkward, but I I feel less awkward. I've given my permit given myself permission to not care what other people think. People look at me because, again, I'm 6 foot 8, 3, 2 75, you know.

00:18:56.144 --> 00:19:23.845
People look at me whether I want them to or not. So I go for it, and I have. Not so easy for everybody. I know many, many people are probably I'm pretty self conscious, to be honest, but I know many other people probably might feel significantly different than me and may not be able to care as little as I do about other people's opinions. That is something that it the struggle for everybody. Certainly, it's been a struggle for me.

00:19:24.304 --> 00:19:52.575
But I think that, that sort of helps kinda this transition here because what I wanna talk about next is the mindset shift. It's choosing I feel like Brene Brown, and I do not mean to rip her off here because I think she has said this before, but in my notes, I was thinking no. Overcomfort. Yes. It is uncomfortable sometimes to talk to people, that I don't know that aren't aware of my story. Certainly, new people that I I get introduced to.

00:19:53.615 --> 00:20:29.349
Never in the past did I have a problem with this, but, of course, again, 5 years out, I still feel very self conscious about the way about, you know, the struggle I can have with eye contact even filming these videos. You know, I know to look at the camera. I know to look, a certain way, a pure certain way. There are things that I do, like, you see me show up on this podcast all the time. I have a fresh hat today, but usually my hat is I'm always in a hoodie. I'm, I've been out of the gym for hours, and I'm you could still see, you know, sweat on my hoodie from earlier today's workout.

00:20:32.049 --> 00:20:49.304
You know, and it's, it's a mindset thing. You know, it doesn't bother me, but this is a comfort, and I need to break myself out of it. I've actually recently bought bought some new clothes because of losing weight because it's things that I wasn't wearing for a long time.

00:20:50.244 --> 00:22:29.105
Got a couple of collared shirts, got some, you know, shorts, very, very Florida, dress shirts and and casual dress shirts. You know, to mix up my outfit because I've been very much in hoodies and and baseball search for a long time. So, again, it's about choosing connection over comfort and why mindset is everything. You know, how do you break out of that isolation? It starts with the mind. Recovery is much physical, and that is certainly true. There's it's something we need to remember. It's it's not just one thing. Recovery from stroke or recovery from any brain injury is is a multifaceted thing. It's it's not easy. It's not something I ever thought I'd have to you probably feel the same way, but training your brain to push past those comfort zones. Again, I it's funny talking about isolation now just, you know, 52 podcast episodes in. I haven't really talked about isolation, but I'm I'm just now realizing the more I realize how many things are connected, how many of the you know, this this podcast really is for stroke survivors and people with brain injury survivors, but it's so much more. I mean, I think this this isn't unique to stroke survivors. This is probably not unique to people in general since 2020. There's still lots of people that are working remotely, working from home. I've done it for over 15 years, and I think a lot of people that I know have.

00:22:29.804 --> 00:23:59.704
But I think we all can get stuck in this isolated world, and you have to really be mindful to push yourself out of that because, you know, I know we don't wanna be you don't wanna be friends with everybody, but it's nice to get out in the world. I know it sounds silly, but I like going to the grocery store. I like going to the gas station. I like seeing people at my gym. I like doing those things, but I still need to push myself a little bit more because I've got so comfortable that I feel good now. I feel safe. I feel I feel strong. I feel recover you know, I'll never be a 100%, but I feel much better than I felt years ago. And so I just need to continue to push myself, so I encourage you to push yourself a little bit further. If you're driving as a stroke survivor, try a little further. You know? Do it safe. You feel good, drive to areas that you feel are generally safe, you know. I'm not saying get on I 95 and go 70, 80 miles an hour down the highway and drive from Jacksonville to Miami, but I think, you know, slowly pushing yourself further is is much more powerful than you think. And, again, I know this I think taking those small steps to go a little bit further, it's kinda like my running journey. It's it's one more lap. Drive one more mile. Go go to a Starbucks that's a little bit further. You know, there's Starbucks or doesn't have to be a Starbucks, be any coffee places. There's thousands of them across the country.

00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:52.615
It's kind of very outside Jacksonville, where it's a little bit more remote, but there's, you know, practice driving. Go to a coffee shop a little bit further up the street, just like your workouts, just like when you're doing rehab. Gotta push yourself a little bit more, and it's no different in choosing connection over comfort and and really getting out of the isolation. Now another thing I should do, I've been looking at it for the last, like, 2 months. It's I there's there's a, a co working space not far from here. Do I need to go to it? No. Do I love my setup at all? Absolutely. But I be beneficial. Meet some new people. You know, I I feel comfortable enough to meet people. I am not in a wheelchair any longer. I should be lucky. I should be doing a little bit more.

00:24:52.615 --> 00:25:24.750
And I hate to say the word shit, but I I I own it, and I need it right now because I should push myself a little just to kinda do I mean, I have this year, for sure, getting involved with my kids and my boys and sports. So I do a little bit more, but I think I could always be doing a little bit more. Again, for me, it was about, you know, when I when I think back to this shift, more, but I think I do an a fair amount.

00:25:24.809 --> 00:25:58.769
But I could do more because now I I've done a lot more over the last couple of years. Like I said, going to the gym, going to the grocery store, these kinds of things. But now it's like I that is my comfort zone, and I I would do these couple things, and I don't so, yeah, those are things to think about. It's it's not it's always easier said than done. I think that it can be terribly difficult. It takes time. I know. It's the worst phrase in the world.

00:26:00.829 --> 00:26:27.119
Be careful with that isolation. And the reason I've been thinking about it is because I've been thinking a lot about survivor science as well and, like, it's like, why did I start this? It's because I wanna meet more people. And I know online does not replace the real world, but sometimes the real world like, in real life, you know, whoever can't drive, maybe you don't have access to family members and friends that can help drive you around.

00:26:27.180 --> 00:26:53.569
Another room that has those resources is so, like, I'm not saying the the reason I started the center at by Survivor of Science is really so that people could connect and encourage and support. It's important. Right? Like, I'm a stroke survivor. You're a stroke survivor. We go to the gym a lot. I think movement is good. I think exercise is good for the brain, body, mind, and emotions. I think there's a lot of benefits.

00:26:53.569 --> 00:27:19.380
You can read all the research. It's obviously that extensive at this point, and you but sharing that research, again, seeing what other people are doing, holding each other accountable, the community is not meant to replace, you know, your health care team or other groups you might be a part of. It's meant to be another avenue and venue to support one another.

00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:58.884
Accountability. You know, all these things, book clubs, it's maybe an hour here, an hour there, a couple hours a week. The the community is open 247. You can always post, and somebody will get back to you. You can always you know, obviously, some of the events are are live Zoom calls just because that's easier when it's a it's a you know, when we're free and, hopefully, the world one day because I think we can learn from other people around the world. Certainly, you know, I don't know this extensively, but I know that stroke care in the UK and in Europe in general seems to be very different than it here is here in the States. So I'm sure there's something we can learn from people abroad.

00:27:59.585 --> 00:29:05.414
I from one another where whatever the background situation, no matter what, You know, I I was very fortunate earlier in my life to travel around the world, and I've met people from all over the world. And if you have too, you know, hearing a different perspective is always nice, and it's refreshing, and it's it's just it's just good adds more to discussions. I think we can learn from one another in that way. I'm just trying to think about here. I had a note about something that is not making much sense to me at the moment, so I'm trying to think of why I was oh, yeah. I guess, I kind of in this vein, I think, here. I've talked about it before, but, obviously, as a runner now and, again, I'm not a great runner, but I'm a pretty good runner now. I'm trying to keep getting better there. I've actually scaled back some of the running in terms of total mileage or total time. I I'm mixing it up more now than I have. Back outside, of course, hurricane passed through in the last week.

00:29:07.210 --> 00:29:20.190
You know, shout out to everybody in in the Carolinas. I know it really hit them hard, which is unusual, and I'm pretty sure unexpected because usually it hits us here in Florida or some other part of Florida, not necessarily Jacksonville, but it's very rare.

00:29:21.914 --> 00:29:33.214
Elaine was, if they unexpected destruction over in the Carolinas. So shout out to anybody out there. Hope you're doing well. I know it's it's difficult. We've been through it.

00:29:34.829 --> 00:29:42.670
You know, I always had better words to say about that, but it is really some friends see if they need help.

00:29:43.069 --> 00:30:04.548
Thankfully, most seem to be okay, but anybody out there, you know, I wish them best. I know how difficult that can be. Sorry. I got way off track there. But the athlete mindset is is is I've talked about it before, but you have to think about that isolation where every challenge becomes an opportunity to improve.

00:30:05.490 --> 00:30:11.429
And I think that mindset it it applies here. Reconnecting with society is part of rehabilitation.

00:30:13.644 --> 00:30:37.119
I'm thinking back to when I had Chris on in episode 50 and his experience with with being in prison and drugs, and I think it's it's no different for strokes of it's, I know it seems like a silly correlation, but it's the same thing. It takes a mindset shift. It takes training. It takes practice. It takes growth. It's just it's all rehabilitation.

00:30:39.259 --> 00:30:42.494
It it's there's so many facets.

00:30:45.835 --> 00:31:03.250
It's just difficult. It's not easy, but it's something to be very mindful of because I think I was surprised in the last couple of months when this sort of started creeping up on me, and I'm trying to fix it, to be honest. I don't know that I've found the solution yet for me, but I think to do and I feel comfortable with what I'm doing.

00:31:03.950 --> 00:33:30.105
And I know things will continue to improve. Like I said, I love working for myself. I love building this community. I will still obviously be running it full time behind the scenes, you know, but, you know, until I can make it even bigger and better, you You know, it might be nice to work with a team again doing different things that I can then bring back into the community. And, you know, running a community is not easy, but it's it it's not terribly difficult. Working from behind the computer, so that's you know, I'm always around. So it's on my phone. It's it's you know, and I've changed things up. I put a new video up. I put some new pricing up, and I'm really proud of what is building there. So I'm gonna continue that. Again, the reason my journey is to really get back out into the bigger context of team environment. So I know I'm getting a little off track here. But, yeah, it's interesting. We'll see where it goes. So, yeah, getting back to isolation, physically breaking out of isolation. I mean, I think I've talked but physical movement is really important, and I think that is how I have started. You know, when I started running a couple years, I was still very, very isolated. I was going to the gym, but I think it wasn't until, you know and this is gonna be different for everybody, but the running really, you know, I just sound so silly when I think about it now, but, like, getting out and running outside in the sunlight in Florida, sweating in hoodies, running mile after mile after mile. I mean, it did probably much in the early days, because by the time I would then want to leave the house, I was so physically tired. I couldn't in the early days, but it did help me gain confidence out in the real world. And I know that kinda sounds silly, but it even in my own community, I was saying hi to people I had never met prior to my stroke. We hadn't lived in this area that long before I had my stroke, so I started meeting neighbors. You know?

00:33:30.825 --> 00:33:37.085
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but, hey, you know, it just made me more comfortable getting back out there, period.

00:33:39.704 --> 00:33:57.345
I know meaningless thing, but I'm telling you, you'd be surprised how these things help both, you know, your mindset and and and really getting out into social connection. I'm just thinking about other things that people can do as stroke survivors, you know. There there's so many things.

00:33:59.025 --> 00:34:17.492
I wouldn't do this just just because it's not for me, but I have seen in my local community. I didn't realize we had a local community book club. That might be something that's of interest to you. I mean, even if it's not, give it a try.

00:34:17.492 --> 00:34:48.588
I think doing things that are uncomfortable, I guess, Strokes Forever see we need to realize, and I think a lot of us knew, is that we're we're fortunate and we're lucky, and I know I believe this, and I say it ad nauseam is that I feel very fortunate to be a stroke survivor because some people are not stroke survivors because they have a stroke and they do, unfortunately, do not survive the stroke To take that for granted, do I bitch and complain and whine when somebody tries to direct me to some place I don't really wanna go?

00:34:48.588 --> 00:35:05.375
Absolutely. However, I think I have started to improve upon that because I've been physically I've been working on my physical, obviously, limitation, walking, my my breathing, my my everything I do, I've improved.

00:35:06.889 --> 00:35:17.230
So there really are no more excuses for me to not go out into the real world and start to meet people and and connect with people on a deeper level. And I, honestly, I struggled with that prior to my stroke.

00:35:18.905 --> 00:35:26.125
I don't wanna say I'm a hermit. I like to do things a certain way, and I find that generally people don't like to do things the way I do.

00:35:26.983 --> 00:35:56.494
And when I get really excited about something like podcasting or talking in general, I can get really excited and that can turn some people off, and that's that's fine. I'm not for everybody. That's that's okay. I've come to terms with that. I'm 41 now. Life, but I think I can I I still struggle with hitting a middle ground because it's either I go a 190,000 miles an hour or I go 0? There's no in between apparently for me, but I've learned that.

00:35:58.420 --> 00:36:52.670
You know, I think excuses, we can we can feel bad for ourselves at times, and sometimes that's okay. I'm not saying that's wrong. I certainly have done it. There are days and moments where I feel a certain way about something, and I just encourage you to don't let your your ability in public spaces, don't let those fears and concerns overwhelm you to the point where you can't do things. I know this year's easier said than done because I I have a good example. Early days. Again, it was 2020 and the pandemic year, and it was a little for me, I think, because of the pandemic, but not, you know, forcing myself to get in the car, go to the grocery store with my family.

00:36:53.530 --> 00:37:07.724
I know this is a silly example, but I would get into one of those really shoppy car shopping carts. One of the rise is the word. Sorry. I've never thought I'd be one of those people that use a motorized shopping cart. And you know what?

00:37:08.264 --> 00:37:30.795
After you survive a stroke and after you go through inpatient, you realize just how much help you need, especially in the early days. See, I need help brush my teeth, go into the restroom, everything. I can so in the very early days. So when you compare that to getting in a motorized shopping cart, you're like, oh, well, I guess I could do the motorized shopping cart. It's not ideal.

00:37:30.855 --> 00:37:41.429
It's not what I ever wanted. It's not what I ever anticipated in my life needing or wanting to use. And, boy, am I glad I've worked hard over the last 5 years to this card.

00:37:41.429 --> 00:38:00.014
But I now if I needed it for any reason, I would not be ashamed to be in it. And I know that is how is that tied to isolation? It's a you know, that can hold people back from going out and having a little experience in the world. Yes.

00:38:01.034 --> 00:38:32.489
Walmart, your grocery store, those could seem like mundane tasks to most people, but I mean, it's a way to get out the house. It's a way to try something. It's a way to break out of isolation. Yes. It'd be nicer to go to a coffee shop and figure out how to get set up there and enjoy some time As you build up over time, you can start to, train your brain and your body to feel more comfortable out in the real world again.

00:38:33.130 --> 00:38:51.795
Now I will say some things are difficult still. Again, 5 years out, feel really good. Just cross 12,000 miles of I talked about this too at Nauseam. Lateral movement, not so great when I'm playing sports with my kids, but I can certainly go all day, and I can certainly do a lot more than I could even a year ago.

00:38:54.653 --> 00:39:09.090
But things like I'm thinking about when I went to a jaguar's game last year, the it was crowded. There were a lot of people. It was overwhelming. So you can be overwhelmed. So that's fair. That's you know?

00:39:10.030 --> 00:39:17.545
But don't let the fear of overwhelm stop you from getting out of isolation. Kinda gotta sorry.

00:39:17.545 --> 00:39:49.135
My contact is don't let fear dictate your life. Don't let fear control your life. Don't, you know again, do you wanna be able to be doing things that are safe to get out of isolation to make sure you're really could I be doing more, you know? I know sometimes my wife likes to go go out, pick it up, and bring it home. That isn't because I don't wanna go to the restaurant necessarily. It's just it's crowded. It's annoying.

00:39:49.355 --> 00:40:38.505
Mostly my well, I love my kids, but they can be a little annoying at a restaurant sometimes. And I really don't wanna get into an argument with them and, you know, if they're not behaving, it's like a enjoy this food at home and relax. So be mindful of that because there's nothing wrong with that. But are you doing it because that's the real reason, or are you doing it because you don't wanna go out, and you wanna stay in that isolated, secure bubble? So just be careful with that. I think that is some I think that's another thing. That's a that's a big topic here is that that can be really, if you're like me, you can almost deceive yourself because it's well, I know it's crowded. I know it's a Friday night.

00:40:42.025 --> 00:41:18.733
Could you go out? Could, you know, could you wait a little bit? Could you go do the thing you don't wanna do, which is sit and wait for a table and force yourself to, like, go out and try to enjoy the moment and be present. And, yes, you're gonna eat a little later, and it's annoying because it's like, is that better than, like, just cutting cutting yourself short of that opportunity? And I guess it is more convenient to bring it home, but it's a it's it's, you know, it depends on your day, your situation, your story, your life.

00:41:19.295 --> 00:41:26.000
It just I can't say it enough this episode. I know I've said it a ton in the 30 minutes we've been talking so far.

00:41:27.019 --> 00:43:12.389
It's not so easy to be always aware of this. And even if you have a good support system around you, they might not even realize it, that you're really kind of isolating yourself. So because one day it'll creep up on you and you're like, this isn't really what I wanted in life. And, like, you know, if you work so hard to do a lot of the work of recovery from stroke, it's something to be very careful about because I wanna put all this work in to make yourself better, to feel better, to to to to work on all the things that you could work on throughout your stroke recovery journey. And you're working this hard to what? Not enjoy the real world? Like, yes. Of course. Sometimes real world real world getting outside can be annoying. It's part of life. You know, you should be mindful of, Yeah. Just be mindful. Because you don't wanna put all this work into, and then for what? Like, if you're not out enjoying and living and loving life, why put all that work into recoveries? Be mindful of, you know, if you're like me and you need to kinda, I think part of this too is I found myself in a place where, like, I really need to rebuild connection, whether that's with my friends, with my family, with my own family, with my I pretty much yeah. I woke up one day not long ago, and I was just like, I don't talk to anybody. That's weird.

00:43:12.690 --> 00:43:19.750
And I do. But, I mean, compared to the number of people I used to talk to, it's it's a pretty significant drop off.

00:43:20.945 --> 00:44:04.224
Part of the I'm sure because of me, because I I can be a certain way. I even though I've improved in a lot of things over the last couple of years, I think I really pulled myself away from people, and it wasn't intentional. It was because I couldn't really type. I couldn't really do a lot of things for a long time, and I was well, I think I would have been able to I should have updated people more, and I didn't. And then I just let it go, and I let it go, and I let it go, and, eventually, people drop off. And it's it's, yeah, it's, it's not a one way street. It's a two way street. You gotta make sure you're for it to stay connected with people. You're not just asking them for help.

00:44:04.224 --> 00:44:25.965
You're offering help. You're checking in on them. If you haven't texted somebody back that you owe a text to, text them back. Somebody that you owe a call to, call them back even if it's been a long ass time. Just if you find yourself isolated and you feel situation similar to me, sorry my contact is driving me crazy if you're watching this on video today.

00:44:26.664 --> 00:44:34.239
Yeah. One of the most important things to remember is that reconnecting isn't just for you. It's for the people in your life too. It's your family.

00:44:34.239 --> 00:44:48.179
It's your extended family, your friends. You your community. You have to make an effort, if not more than they do, because you might have pulled yourself out. But, you you know, you may not have intended to isolate yourself. You may not have intended to push somebody away.

00:44:48.784 --> 00:44:56.164
They may also not just not have been sure how you wanted to chat with them, and they may have forgotten. So it's it's it's a two way street.

00:44:56.945 --> 00:45:23.175
Again, if you've survived a stroke, if you've been through all the of going through as a stroke survivor, what's the harm in making an effort? If you make an effort, you know, give it give it a couple of times. Give it a couple of chances. You know, don't expect everybody to be hopping on a call after you finally decide to reach out to them after a long time. It might take some more effort, so I encourage you to put that effort effort into your stroke recovery to get better.

00:45:23.795 --> 00:46:18.713
This is another part of it, rebuilding. It's part of rebuilding, rebuilding your support system. You know, if you're struggling in isolation, start building up that support network. I mean, I found a lot lot it wasn't just a pandemic for for me. It was I found a lot on on particularly on LinkedIn. You could find great friends on social media. Find a few that you like. Talk to them. Bring them into your community. Find the community even if it's not serve the center, by survivor science. If if it's not survivor science in general, if it's not this podcast, find out the people and things that you enjoy. Try to find I'm not saying there isn't a ton of communities. There are tons of communities. Find the one that works best for you. Try a couple. A lot of con a lot of communities are I mean, there's communities for creators. There's communities for podcasters. There's community for strokes or others. There's communities for just about anything you could think of.

00:46:20.869 --> 00:47:20.079
And the others, some are better on search engine optimization, so you may be able to find them on a Google search. Some you may have to dig a little deeper on Instagram, on TikTok, on on LinkedIn, on Facebook. You know, I'm not a big fan of Facebook. The reason I don't love Facebook or again, this is why I built, the center. I find that the Facebook groups are poorly moderated and they are filled with things that don't matter to me. There seems to be a lot of people there that want more connection, which I'd love to kind of figure out a way to kindly invite people to my community from there, but I don't wanna seem honestly, it's people that I think wanna talk and wanna be communicating with other stroke survivors, and they just they can't find me. I should probably reach out to them, but I deleted my Facebook couple years ago, so I've restarted from the very bottom again, which is fine.

00:47:20.860 --> 00:48:38.545
I think there's a lot of people looking for this type of real connection to even though it's virtual and it's online, it's still very helpful. It's still a way to talk to other survivors that may not be local to you, may not be a part of your daily life. It's just another outlet, and I think more people need that because just stroke survivors in 2024 dealing with struggling with isolation, I think it's a much bigger topic. I mean, I've thought about perhaps, you know, I've had these thoughts. Are stroke survivors really do stroke survivors really want do all of us really wanna get better? Do all of us really let's really wanna get out of isolation? I mean, that that's not something I can answer. I know I don't wanna be in isolation anymore. I I've been pretty active on social, but I've been a little withdrawn the last year or 2 for a variety of reasons. I'm not even sure I know the reasons. It's just I think it's, it's an ongoing converse going topic in my mind, probably on this show too. I think I think I'm not alone here. I think I need to do a better job of reaching out to other survivors in general, making connections, building a support system, inviting people over to survivor science in the center. You know?

00:48:40.860 --> 00:48:52.480
I could I could be building a bigger and better. I think there's a lot of opportunity for growth, and I gotta push myself. Everything I talked about in terms of getting out into the real world is the same thing I need to do with building survivor science in the center.

00:48:54.954 --> 00:49:13.889
So, yeah, I know I know isolation is kind of a heavy topic. I feel heavy. It's it's easy to get stuck and you might even find yourself stuck one day and not even realize you were stuck or are stuck. And it's, I don't particularly feel stuck, but I know I could be doing better.

00:49:13.889 --> 00:49:39.239
And maybe you feel that same way. Maybe you don't feel necessarily totally isolated, but it's just like, needs a tweak. And I'm not sure what that is exactly yet. So so, yeah, we'll see how that goes. But, yeah, if you're struggling with isolation, come join me over at the center. It's still early days. Not, it's not like we have 500 members in the community yet, so it's it's really a great space to kinda meet and connect.

00:49:40.900 --> 00:50:12.869
As it grows, it'll might get bigger. I might have to bring more people in, but as for right now, it's it's a pretty tightly knit community. So something to consider, something to think about. I I just think there there's there's a lot of room for growth there on individual level, on the community level, others in general. So, sorry. My contact is driving me crazy. So I think I think we're gonna end this episode here in a little bit. I'm just trying to think if there's anything else I want to touch on.

00:50:15.155 --> 00:50:37.409
No tease for the next episode because I'm not really sure if I've determined, to I do wanna circle back to last week episode 51, and and I've talked a lot about AI. And I think there's a lot of room and space to grow in the AI approach, when it comes to recovery. I do kinda wanna dive further into that again at some point.

00:50:38.050 --> 00:51:00.150
Also thinking that having some guests on a couple of people I still need to reach out with, and wanting to circle back with. So yeah. Again, if there is ever anything I could do for you as a stroke survivor or brain injury survivor or really any anybody at all who's listening to this podcast, Isolation can be a really tricky thing. It can creep up on you.

00:51:01.088 --> 00:51:22.889
Even if you're somebody like me who finds themselves to be a pretty reasonably smart individual, I think, get caught off guard if you're not paying close attention. You can get stuck in a comfortable routine that works, and that's good. Right? We all want upon routines at work, but it, I think sometimes everything comes at a cost, and it may come at a cost that you don't even until until you kinda just do.

00:51:23.849 --> 00:51:42.414
So, yeah, if you're feeling isolated, please don't hesitate to reach out. Any anything I can do on social media, again, over at the center in survivor signs. You don't have to go through this alone. I know it can be difficult. I know this sounds corny, but I really do need to ask anybody who knows me, connect Twitter, x.

00:51:43.295 --> 00:52:00.088
You can try to connect with me on Facebook. I'm happy to connect there, but I'm probably not doing a lot of chatting over on Facebook. Either way, stay safe, stay hungry, stay stay active. I I hope you have a fantastic week, and I look forward to seeing you ever soon. 53. Thanks.